<p>I have to ask....Do Mombots have jumblies?</p>
<p>Mombot. So, if anyone asks about my kids, I should just tell them their names and ages. Any thing else I said will be, in your opinion, not done.</p>
<p>Why don't you go over to the other thread where a Mom was so happy that her D got into a good college ED. You go tell her that, it should be Not Done because there are many other kids who did not get in ED will have their feelings hurt? </p>
<p>What about the acceptance and celebration thread? Do you get the adm to take that one out too?</p>
<p>Dad II, listen to people around you. For some reason in the US it's okay to boast about sports, but not much else. I don't think it's logical, but that's the way it is. There are other things you can say that are less direct. You can say, "My daughter is having a great year in school. She loves all her classes. She's got a great history teacher. She's writing a paper and has gotten the whole family excited about subject x." </p>
<p>Parents around here are pretty leery about even saying where kids are applying or where they got in, especially ED, because it does come dangerously close to boasting. I only talked about college applications to my closest friend. I had a friend whose son got a 1600/1600 on the SATs. The only reason she felt comfortable at all sharing that info was that I knew her well enough that she'd spent years complaining about his slacker habits which caused him to get lots of Bs and Cs and even to fail gym one quarter.</p>
<p>mathmom and mombot - you are on target!!</p>
<p>honestly - no one really CARES if your little darling has a 4.0 or not. As far as sports - no one really CARES if your future pro ball player was named the state athlete of the year.</p>
<p>I don't talk about my kids grades, gpa's, SAT's or to which colleges they have been accepted to anyone but her.</p>
<p>I do talk about the things they do - team they play on, clubs they belong to, what they want to study and sometimes the courses they are taking.</p>
<p>As for getting all A's from k-12 - my reaction is what is your child NOT doing?
Mine don't get all A's - but they take the most difficult courses their high school offers (AP & Dual enrollment), play on sports teams, belong to clubs, watch House on TV, go to football and basketball games, hangout with their friends and work.</p>
<p>There is more to life than all A's. It is a little obsessive - IMO.</p>
<p>With all the kids doing drugs; doing alcohol; getting pregnant at 15; getting arrested; into gangs, cults, etc... Any kid that keeps their nose clean, isn't knocked up or strung out of drugs and alcohol, and is get excellent grades, should not only be praised but should most definitely be bragged about. </p>
<p>If someone asks about my son's "Future" after high school, I will tell them. I'll tell them about the many schools he's applied to and how he's been accepted. If they ask how he did in high school, I will most definitely tell them. If they ask me his class ranking, I'll tell that too. As well as his athletic and EC accomplishments. There's a big difference between the "Subject coming up"; which is VERY COMMON; and just walking around telling people who didn't ask or don't care. Just like if someone asks the type of car or the size of my house or neighborhood. I don't just tell people, but if the topic comes up I'm not going to side step it.</p>
<p>Conserning the other point of gpa and colleges. My son, and prior my daughter, and I have filled out at least 6 college applications. EACH ONE required the GPA, Class Ranking, SAT/ACT, and most definitely asked if they were in the IB program or took AP classes. Matter of fact, the 3 questions has always been; 1. Were AP classes or the IB program available at your school. 2. If it was, did you take these classes. 3. If not; WHY??? </p>
<p>The point is, the colleges know exactly the difference between an applicant with a 3.5gpa taking AP or IB courses and a 3.9gpa taking woodshop and basic english. The colleges aren't stupid. There is no disadvantage if you take the more difficult classes and get a slightly lower gpa. Yes, a 3.8 normal class and 2.8 in AP/IB is a drastic difference. Those students shouldn't be taking the advanced classes.</p>
<p>I don't generally divulge the full list of DS's schools...the general patter is "He's applying to eight...the state flagship (expected), and others on both coasts and in-between, and from really small to huge." That usually is enough info to satisfy curiosity. Some folks really push me, or ask if he's applying to X (where they would expect). If someone asks me about GPA: "Well, he's taking some really challenging classes and they keep him busy..."</p>
<p>I feel I can discuss a bit more here on CC -- but among the neighbors, no way. In some ways I dread going to synagogue on Saturday this week, because many people know "it's that time of year" and will want to know what's happening. (The answer: we won't know anything Saturday morning. By Monday or Tuesday...we'll see.)</p>
<p>My parents don't even know DS's test scores. We don't need that kind of rivalry among the cousins.</p>
<p>As I posted on another thread yesterday, GPA is meaningless without the context of a transcript. There are a couple grades of DS's transcript I wish were different, but here we are. It's all part of the big picture, and I think the applications he's completed reflect the many other things he has done over the past four years. He's motivated and intensely passionate about learning, and that shows up everywhere. As for his results, que sera, sera. I wish my younger S could find some of that internal motivation.</p>
<p>I don't agree that it's "just not done." There are times/places when discussing your kids is fine and there are times when it is not. There's a fine line between talking about your kids and bragging about them and annoying people. I know people who manage to work in to any conversation annoying facts about their kids. i.e. you say "isn't the weather nice today." They say"in my kid's GIFTED program they're studying weather. He's been in the gifted program since Kindergarten. It's very prestigious." (really, I've had conversations like this). On the other hand, if I asked someone about their kid and what kinds of activities they do, or if it came up in conversation, I don't have a problem if they say "my kid is a gymnast and may qualify for the olympics next year." It's a fine line, hopefully most of us know when not to cross it.</p>
<p>I think the contex of GPA depends on what school you are in. My kid is in a very competetive public high school (one of Gold medal winer in recent US news top high school ranking list). I heard last year they have one 4.0 student (among ~300is). This year the highest GPA is 3.9 something. A 93 is B+. And the teachers grade in a very strict manner. A student has to put in a lot more work into the class work in order to get an A, and some class never give out A. So far my kid got two B+, ironically, the AP test for both courses were 5.0.</p>
<p>Countingdown, I agree with you- I usually won't name specific schools, try to be as vague as possible. SOme people, of course, can't take a hint and will try to badger you into naming all the schools.</p>
<p>I think we mostly agree, however, that this is one place where sharing that information is socially permissible (probably because of the anonymity and similarity of purpose.). The OP is sharing here. As far as what one does in their social and family life, I strongly believe that's their call.</p>
<p>I agree and disagree with everyone here. First of all I think that grades are nobody's buisiness and mine get good ones. I don't want my kids to identify themselves by their grades and I don't want others to identify them with their grades. They are who they are- quirky, wonderful young men- at least I think so. I think there are the right times and the right people to brag to. For all of you who immediately judge someone who has straight A's as someone who doesn't have a life- you are exactly the reason why it's important to keep it to yourself. In this competitive world that we have created for our kids- do you really think anyone is happy for you or your kid? What is Dad's response to the guy who's son is the quarterback? Is it great- what team does he play for, blah blah blah, or is it- what I find most often- oh well my son gets straight A's. My best friend went around bad mouthing my kid because he got into a selective program and hers didn't. Of course hers was equally qualified- it worked out for my kid this time. The next time, her kid got the nod and hopefully my honest happiness for her and her child helped her realize there is plenty of good to go around. I think there is a bible verse about being a show off bragger- someone else can probably quote it- I only know the story. In short- if you want to identify with people and connect with them- share your humble moments before you share your brags!
I have rarely bragged about my kid to someone else when there wasn't a pang of "why did you just do that?" I guess much of it comes from motive and questioning your own even if others don't live by the same rules.</p>
<p>well, it is not like I just started every conversation with "4.0". It is always coming up when colleagues found out our DD is a senior in HS. </p>
<p>Also, I don't why some of you will automatically associate a 4.0 student with someone who does not have a life. I could give you a long list of thing our DD participate. But then you would I am bragging again. </p>
<p>At the end of the day, I got my answer. Thanks.</p>
<p>As I recall Dad II, your daughter does have a life outside academics. (Unless I'm confusing you with another poster.) My son didn't put in very many hours for most of his grades. If people ask you about your child's grades you are of course free to boast away, I'd just be cautious about it.</p>
<p>Humility is a wonderful characteristic. From the OP's opening comment, he seemed to say that most people know that he talks about his child's 4.0 average. Personally, if I were talking to someone who felt the need to tell me his child had a 4.0 average, I would wonder why I had to be told? Was the parent feeling the need to brag because he felt insecure? Was he trying to show that his child is better than my child?? Why tell people that?? It is just not polite, or subtle. I don't tell people in casual conservation that my son qualified for the National finals in something two years in a row, or that he was Capt. of his sports team. It just seems like bragging, not necessary. I bet the OP's acquaintances resent it.</p>
<p>Dad II (and a few others):</p>
<p>"I could give you a long list of thing our DD participate. But then you would I am bragging again."</p>
<p>The point, as I understood it, was not about 'bragging' within this forum. Obviously, where this type of info is relevant to a question or response, it makes sense to share here. The debate was whether or not (and in which particular contexts) it's acceptable to share the same info in regular, face-to-face conversation.</p>
<p>It also may be worth noting that I personally don't assume a 4.0 student to be one with no life outside of academics. To some extent, though, I think that this is the impression you give when you "identify" your daughter with her GPA, rather than with her other pursuits, traits, or achievements. I'm sure that she is a very multi-faceted person, and it goes without saying that her academic performance is excellent, so this isn't a criticism of either of you...just an explanation of why some posters might be comfortable leaping to the "she must have no life" conclusion.</p>
<p>That said, I maintain my original claim: all else aside, it sounds like you have two kids you can be very, very proud of. Congrats to all of you :)</p>
<p>There is a big difference between gpa/SAT chat among friends/family which may be viewed as bragging vs anonymous posting on a forum in hopes of providing some frame of reference to other parents and students.</p>
<p>I think the fact that our ds only got 9 A's in 23 academic classes obviously is not bragging in our very special virtual gated community. But the fact that he got admitted to every first tier college he applied to and got substantial merit money in the process should be of interest to parents and students here.</p>
<p>The lesson is that the perfect gpa is not absolutely necessary as long as the adcom have sufficient information to put the students' academic records into some perspective. In our district's case they do still provide class rank and they do have an excellent hs profile which puts the less than perfect gpa performance into proper perspective. Combine this with SAT/ACT performance and bingo, the adcoms have a reasonable accurate indication of our students' academic capabilities. The fact that our ds was in the top 6% of his class with less than 40% unweighted grades of A or A+ is unusual but adequately explained in the hs profile.</p>
<p>I think that some people are misunderstanding this so called "Bragging". I don't think anyone is saying that "Unsolicited" bragging of their kids is such a good thing. Although it can be difficult sometimes like when your kid calls you and says he just opened the mail and got accepted on a full ride to a particular college. It sort of makes you bubble over. But normally, just telling others about your kids, their grades, ranking, etc... when unsolicited isn't the most tasteful thing to do. </p>
<p>However, there are many times in which your kid's grades, gpa, ranking, college prospects, etc... are solicited. Maybe the soliciter is a friend who is indeed interested. Maybe they are trying to guage their child's options. Maybe their kid is having a problem with a particular teacher or class and wants to know if it's the entire class. Maybe they are trying to judge if their kid is lazy. Maybe they heard your kid's name on the radio and is wanting to congratulate you. In other words, there are plenty of times when your kid's grades, gpa, ranking, SAT/ACT scores, college plans, etc... are solicited. In which case, there is nothing wrong whatsoever in telling people this information; even to the extent of being proud of their accomplishments. (Bragging). Obviously, if your kid's gpa, sat/act, ranking, etc... isn't all that impressive. Maybe it's average or below average. That would definitely make your response different. That's just human nature. </p>
<p>Generally speaking, I think it's bad taste to brag or boast when unsolicited. But if solicited, and you are excited and proud of your kid's accomplishments and plans, then you have every socially acceptable right in the world to brag. It isn't in bad taste. After all; if the other person didn't want to hear the answer, they shouldn't have asked the question. But as mentioned before, there are a lot of reasons for the topic to come up. As far as the motives go, no one here can say why another person may brag about their kid. Some might think it's insecurity or living vicariously through their kid. Maybe the person who doesn't talk about it isn't proud of their kid's grades or performance. Maybe it's simply that the "Bragging" parent realizes how competitive life and school is, and that seeking opportunities to "Market" their kid's accomplishments may actually assist in getting letters of recommendations or meeting someone who knows someone who knows someone who can help at admissions. </p>
<p>In other words, you have no idea what the motive is for a parent who brags about their kid. But I think we can all agree that when "Unsolicited"; bragging about their kids is in bad taste. Some of us however do believe that when it IS "Solicited", there's not a thing wrong with being proud and telling them their kid's accomplishments.</p>
<p>P.S. I also believe that NOTHING on a forum can be considered bragging. 2 reasons: 1st; no one knows the other people, so what is there to impress? We won't see each other in public. 2nd; every single word on a forum could be total B.S. Every poster on a forum could be the opposite of what they appear to be. Every word on a forum should be taken with a grain of salt.</p>
<p>Agree with CC in that bragging about success is OK when it's solicited.</p>
<p>If someone asks "How's your son doing in school?" I think it's OK to say something like, "Just great- he's carrying a 4.0!" if you want. If someone asks, "Where does your son go to college?", I don't think I'd say, "UF, and he gets straight A's!". If someone says, "How's baseball season going this year?", I think it's acceptable to say, "Great, they won their game last night and my son jacked two out of the park!". I don't think I'd respond to "How many kids do you have?" with "Two, and my youngest son jacked two out of the park last night!" </p>
<p>Sports bragging is generally more acceptable because 1. people get excited and are interested in athletic prowess, even when it doesn't involve their own kids, and 2. sports success usually reflects positively on the entire school community and is a source of group pride, whether it's your kid breaking the record or someone else's. Tim Tebow and I are not related; however I'm THRILLED that he got the Heisman because he's a Gator and it's something everyone from Florida can get excited about. OTOH, that some kid from our hometown has never made less than an "A" on his report card does not add to my sense of hometown pride whatsoever- although congrats to that kid!</p>
<p>DadII, I went to a Christmas party recently and the subject of college also was brought up. I did not dare mentioning GPA/SAT scores at all. When they ask me where my D plan to apply and I said " she likes these schools blah blah blah'. I was being as vague as possible without being specific, ie whether or not she applies to any of them is still to be seeing.
The reaction you may have gotten is probably because you mentioned your D's GPA and not because it was 4.0 uw. I know you are proud of your daughter and I'm not the one that usually likes to criticize anyone on this internet(it's not my business and I don't have time), just to give you a different angle to ponder.</p>
<p>But I think on CC it's ok to mention GPA on CC because it's anonymous.</p>
<p>Back to the original post, I think it is a lot more common today to see straight A's than when I went to school.</p>
<p>"Back in the day", you had to be talented in the subject to get an A in phys ed/art/band. Doing what you were supposed to do and trying hard got you a B. </p>
<p>Now, even my hopelessly uncoordinated son gets A's in PE.</p>