thanks @marcie123 that’s a good scenario to prep her for!
Just FYI, when my D tried to let all the UCs know that she was withdrawing her application, some of them apparently didn’t bother to read her email. When March rolled around, she got acceptance letters from UCSD, UCD and UCSC. Nothing, either acceptance or rejection, from Cal, UCLA or UCSB, so apparently they did read her email.
So your D might get to have the fun of knowing which UCs she got into (or at least some of them) even though she’s applying ED!
Don’t be tempted to let your daughter “forget” to withdraw some applications in the hope of having the outcome @dustypig mentioned.
It’s your daughter’s obligation to withdraw the other applications if she is accepted ED, and she should have documentation that she has done so (such as the e-mail she will send them).
My child was absolutely thrilled with her ED acceptance and was very happy to withdraw any existing applications she filed and to not send in other (mostly completed) applicants. If any student doesn’t feel that way, he/she probably should not have applied ED.
Don’t apply ED unless you can afford it and it’s the school you love best. Think of it like a marriage with no possibility of divorce. You have to “forsake all others.” If that seems scary, don’t apply ED.
The daughter of a friend of mine applied ED to Tufts, but by the time she was accepted, realized she didn’t want to go there after all. She was stuck, but it worked out. She thrived there anyway.
Doesn’t it feel way worse to not apply ED, then not get into your first choice, and spend forever wondering if ED would have made a difference? That would be much more regret than not knowing if you had other acceptances you can’t use.
For me the hard cheese seems to be ED2 after being deferred from ED1 from your first choice.
As pointed out by many other posters, these hypotheticals depend on the existence of a clear first choice and the absence of financial constraints…
My D’s both had the same experience as dustypig’s D with their UC applications. They sent an email about withdrawing their apps after being admitted ED elsewhere, heard nothing, and months later got some acceptances, some rejections, and some with no followups. Didn’t make a bit of difference to them either way.
There were no other apps to withdraw, because both D’s didn’t plan on submitting their RD apps unless they were rejected or deferred from ED. The apps were ready to go–essays written, etc–so there was work invested. But, again, no regret or feelings of what might have been. As Marian says, there’s an enormous sense of relief.
interesting about the lack of attention to withdrawals at the UC’s!
@marian, we wouldn’t dare, we go by the book, I’m a bit an-l that way
@Postmodern - Yep that is where D’s mindset is. ED is the way to go for her and she’d regret if she didn’t just go for it! She didn’t apply ED1 anywhere, so the ED2 school has always been her first choice. Since her top choice made either available, I suggested she wait until we were done visiting/researching other schools in the fall before confirming it was still her top choice. Also, she wanted to “up” her SAT score a bit before she applied. She did apply early action to 3 safety schools. Now she is finalizing applications for her ED and a couple other matches/reaches.
no thoughts from anyone on revising that common app essay?! 8->
My S is having second thoughts about his early app. Up until 10 days ago he was confident in his choice – an Ivy with a very good math department. While I would have chosen a different early app for him I learned from the last application cycle with my D that it is best to let them make that decision.
Over his Thanksgiving break we took a trip to California to visit some last minute schools – I was never fully comfortable with his final list and felt this trip might round it out a bit. The issue now is that he absolutely fell in love with UCLA and said that given the choice again he would not have submitted the early app. He is now hoping he is deferred. Quote frankly I agree with him --I really liked UCLA as well and think he would be much happier there.
So for us right now it is complicated as well.
@HarvestMoon1 Yes, I just keep telling myself everything works out the way it should. D loved UCLA as well. It was one of the better tours we went on, although students literally yelled out “housing crisis, don’t come here” which led her to waver on applying. I’m glad she applied in the end though. If our kids don’t get into their first choice, ya never know, they might meet one day! lol.
We hear so little about UCLA on this forum and after our visit I really do not understand it. I was impressed. Fabulous campus, global reputation and I really liked Westwood, the area that surrounds the University. It was kind of an eye-opener to an east coaster like myself.
@HarvestMoon1 I agree, we were impressed as well. It was her favorite of all the UC campuses we visited. We drove through about 6 but only toured UCLA and UCSD. We are also east coasters.
@HarvestMoon1 If he really feels this way, it might be possible to contact the school and ask to be switched to RD, though it’s getting close to decision time. Worth a call, anyway.
How you feel may depend on why you did ED. If you chose your 1st choice school, it’s easy not to look back and just be happy. If you chose to apply ED because you thought it’d improve your chances of getting into a “good” prestigious school and you picked one that seemed just barely attainable, we’ll you might be wondering if you should have aimed higher. Which is why you should only ED to a school you truly love rather than to game the system.
I think there can be a legitimate conundrum for someone who is deferred ED1 and chooses to ED2 somewhere else in light of that result. You’re agreeing to accept #2 over #1 if #2 loves you back (even though ED1 could love you RD.)
@garland actually when we returned from the California the first thing I did was to invite his high school college counselor out to dinner to discuss making that phone call.
He really was not all that “on board” with the idea. And I get that considering the high school my S is coming out of – very small (20 in S’s class) niche private school where a good portion of the class are either professional ski racers or high level winter sports athletes. So his counselor has some established relationships with the Ivy’s, including the one that my S did an early app to. My take away from the evening was that he did not want to upset the apple cart and perhaps jeopardize his own credibility along with the pending applications of other students. A reasonable stance to take in my opinion.
Oh, that makes sense. My kids were in a big, very uncompetitive public. Our counselors had zero pull anywhere. I never would have even had that conversation with them if I needed to make that call. I did ask my S if he wanted to switch to RD after getting a very enthusiastic rolling admissions yes from his close second favorite school, just to make sure he was still committed to the ED–didn’t want buyer’s remorse. but his preference never changed. But if it had, the decision to attempt a change would have been absolutely between us and the ED school, no input from the HS.
My daughter got into her ED school ( top 10) and was so happy she didn’t mind pulling all her applications. Come April 1 she got an e mail telling her admission decision was ready at an Ivy. She panicked, thinking shed somehow failed to pull application. Investigated by us and GC and turned out error on colleges part ( GC said she’s never encountered this before). It was kind of fun to know that she’d gotten in ( but no regrets)
'I think it’s human nature to want to see if your hard work paid off."
The lesson the grownups should be modeling is that the payoff is GOING TO COLLEGE, not the invitation to attend.
The guy I wanted to marry proposed to me, and now we’re married. I’ll never know if anyone else would have asked me if I had kept looking. It doesn’t matter. Proposals from other men have no value, because I’m not marrying them. The point is the marriage, not the ask. That’s the adult perspective.
My DD will hopefully be in this boat next weekend when her REA comes out. She doesn’t have to pull her other apps (applied to 4 UCs so far, USC and Cal Poly) since it is restrictive only. However, she definitely will NOT be filling out the other 10 or so apps she has on her back up list. It would make her life so much easier for December to not write 10 more essays about how to change the world!
Let’s hope she gets in. It will be a hell of a Holiday present. Then she can decide to notify UCs or just go through with the process to keep her options open.
I worked at a company and the powers that be decided we would offer a new type of loan and needed documentation. We’d just hired a new attorney and he was given the entire project (usually we’d each do the forms for the states we were responsible for, but this was his area of expertise). He worked and worked for about 2 months on this, had everything ready to go, and they cancelled the program. He was a deer in headlights, he was in shock. He couldn’t believe all that work for nothing.
We told him not to feel bad, that the project would be brought up again in a year or two, and he’d be a step ahead.
Sometimes you do a lot of work for no gain. No matter how many schools you apply to, you can only go to one.