Admission info/help for brilliant, stubborn daughter

<p>I take it the OP is from Mass cuz of MCAS scores - so will jump in and agree with Soozievt - why should she want to go to UMASS - she has much bett choices - so don't blame her at all there. By full ride - do you mean tuition - fees - room board - or full tuition??? (which is not such a good deal). As of right now she has good choices - and would not be surprised that she will probably have a couple more offers to add to her list.
FWIW - I would certainly not be pushing a kiddo to UMASS with the choices she has right now. Sorry - not a big fan of the place at all.</p>

<p>I Hate Parents... My Mom And Dad Are The Same...please Just Let Your Daughter Live Her Life And She Got Accepted To Nyu And My Best One Is Nyu... So Just Let Her Live Her Life And Im Assuming She Is 18 By Now So She Is An Adult... And From Her Stats, You Can Tell She Knows How To Take Care Of Her Self...its Parents Like You Who Dont Ever Let Their Children Be At Peace And Live A Normal And Healthy Life Without Them Ever Staying Out Of Some Things... I Mean If She Is Partying Drinking And Smoking, Yea You Should Be Strict, But Your Daughter Is 3/300... Come On Now... So Go And Give Her A Hug An Tell Her How Proud You Her YOU ARE And Tell Her You Are Behind Her Every Decision</p>

<p>Wow, your post is making me nauseous. </p>

<p>I can't believe someone actually expends the effort to use capital letters at the beginning of each word. It's one thing to not use them at all in order to save time, but using them like that is not only wrong, but totally unreadable.</p>

<p>I think the post should've been in all caps. BestMiler is right--how could this parent be second guessing at this point?</p>

<p>If the OP comes back, I'd appreciate clarification of how she is accepted already to NYU and with a Trustee Scholarship. To my knowledge (let alone the fact that my kid is attending), notification of acceptances is on April 1. Thank you in advance for explaining as I am interested in learning more.</p>

<p>
[quote]
my concern was the "what if she doesn't get in" to at least one of her reach/match schools. I don't want to her to have a meltdown.

[/quote]

Very few kids will make it through this process without some disappointment. Most parents have found, to our surprise and gratification, that our children weather these extremely well. Some kids need a little time to get over it, and some bounce back right away. My d very much wanted an acceptance from Duke last year, because it was the toughest admit on her list and she's kind of Type A by nature (insert eyeball roll here). When she found she'd been waitlisted, she was immediately able to joke, "It's not that they didn't want me - they just wanted several thousand other people more." She never seemed to second-guess her application or miss a beat. Like the OP's d, she had some very strong choices even without the Duke imprimatur. Captcoll, your d will find a way to handle what's in store.</p>

<p>Our hs is about 45 minutes from Ithaca and sends several kids there each year. It enjoys a very strong reputation around here and certainly accepts very accomplished students - just wanted to throw that thought in.</p>

<p>Your daughter is strong-minded, independent, learns extremely well in classroom settings, is ranked at the very tip top of her peers for academic consistent performance and does you great credit. She tests very well really. She didn't have the stomach for the SAT prep work, but otherwise, has accepted the standards and goals put forth by her school and her family, and performed and learned. You are a very blessed parent. </p>

<p>I guess what you are saying is that she is about to get some rejections and waitlists, have her reality-base challenged and rocked, and it is going to be hard to watch because she has also blocked out some of the realities of admission odds (Bowdoin might also be a Reach since they need to accept kids from other regions for instance). She also may get a couple extra lovely admits. </p>

<p>My son got a waitlist at his biggest crush school last year where he was in the highly qualified category and still had only a one in ten shot. Was I surprised to see actual grief for 24 hours, and the irrational few days of his disbelief? Yes, because anyone who can read knew the odds, and he did read these boards etc. You can be a very smart person at 18 and still be very unrealistic. Your D is Normal. Did he also get in some wonderful fine institutions, and for a day or so seem less than appreciative of his future generous invitations ..yes. It is a bit hard to watch, but on the other hand it is the game of life and our 18s are about to enter the fray and have to learn to measure themselves by broader standards. I am glad my darling S experienced a big reality dose and knows what rejection is, especially, since like you, he also has more than wonderful options. My son is at Duke now and believe me, his vistas re what constitutes "outstanding ability and performance" have broadened quite a bit in a pond of many students with big dreams and various talents. This experience made him a tad more, well ready to be an adult.</p>

<p>I have a prediction for you based on what I absorbed on Parents Weekend for the 2009ers. Don't sweat that your daughter is still too stubborn to believe you re stats and odds. You did your job and she is a comer! She is really a super gal. Swallow any "I tried to tell yous" if she has some real disappointment. My observation: By next fall her peers will show her what the reality base of life is, and your job is done. My S looks to guys and gals up and down his hall to check out "how hard to study" "what are the odds" and "how high to aim" and "what can I hope for." If he flunks a test, the hallmates tell him exactly where he went wrong. If he aces one, they praise him. I am replaced! And the surprising thing is that I really really liked his peers a whole lot. They are also sensible, hard-working, have various doses of shrewdness and common sense and when they talk, my son believes them. The next phase of life is all about measuring yourself by your peers, and we parents serve different functions, not that I have exactly figured out my new function yet. ha.</p>

<p>This last semester is your last hurrah as Numero Uno sounding board. Be a pal. Just let her feel some disappointment, don't say a word, never roll your eyes, and help her sort out where she is going to attend. Celebrate her fabulous achievements, which by the way say she is one heck of a self-starter and a young lady who is self-directed.<br>
take care...</p>

<p>Faline</p>

<p>Excellent post!</p>

<p>I disagree with the posters - not studying for the SAT is going to backfire on her bigtime. You can study for it, I am sure she could have raised her score 100-200 pts pretty easily. Also her choice of schools appears slightly haphhazard and unfocused. BUT she does have a strong shot at Colby and Bowdoin.</p>

<p>Harvard - No chance
Cornell - 20% chance
Brown - 10% chance
Bowdoin - 60% chance
Colby - 65% chance
Tufts - 40% chance
BU - 85% chance</p>

<p>Your D sounds like a great girl who is on her way to more success than if she had spent her high school career studying for SATs. She sounds more intellectual than that. She is already in some great schools and will undoubtedly be accepted by more.
Many kids are not in ANY school. You should be thrilled! Is your duaghrer unhappy or just you? Remember, it is her life, her college experience, not yours. Although it sounds as if she prefers an LAC, if she ends up at NYU she will not be surrounded by slugs. The two kids from our school (including my D) who got into NYU ED both had SATs right around 2200, lots of APs and good grades.</p>

<p>As parents, we always want the absolute best for our kids! Your dau sounds more resolute than stubborn to me... she did do well in school, she did apply to a range of schools and has already been accepted - w $$ to boot! She's going to college! And while, some of that "stubbornness" is difficult in high school, it's essential for success in life! She'll be fine! You gotta morph into Captcool! About the only thing left for you to do now is send her off w/ your blessing & approval! You did good....AND SO DID/WILL SHE!!!!!!!</p>

<p>I disagree with slipper--studying for the SATs is an individual choice. Neither of my kids would consider it, but the time they didn't, might have been the time they did something else worthwhile. Some kids are the superstars who can be tops in every area, some can handle twenty hour days and eight day weeks, but others need to pick and choose what's most important to them. This is a girl who's top in her class, with many other accomplishments. Choosing not to study for SATs is not a moral failing.</p>

<p>Anyway, the question is moot at this point. I agree with the many wise posts, particularly Faline's and frazzle's, about being there to support her choices and accomplishments--there's really nothing else to do, now.</p>

<p>and the problem is....?</p>

<p>What would be absolutely so terrible about being at the very top of one's class at Ithaca, and hence being showered with mentoring, research, and other opportunities that the average run-of-the-mill Ivy student could only dream about?</p>

<p>whatever parents - If she wants the best schools she needed to study. Its not that much work. I have friends that raised their scores 200 points by taking a course and ended up at their dream schools. The network you have and the quality of students around you at the top schools makes it completely worth it. What does Tufts have that Harvard or Brown doesnt...not much. But Harvard and Brown offer much more than Tufts, socially, academically, and intellectually. Sure there are exceptions - but the haphazard list of the daughter suggests to me that she really didn't research these schools - so she isn't targeting a place like Ithaca. </p>

<p>Whatever, its her life though.</p>

<p>slipper1234, I don't know what you are talking about! While Harvard may offer more than Tufts, a student can only take X courses a semester, and a student at Tufts who makes great friends, has professors who believe in her and encourage her, and perhaps goes overseas for a year, may get a better education than a student at Harvard who doesn't connect with the right professors and friends. These are all great schools. It sounds as if the OP's daughter is very happy with her life and the OP wants to live vicariously through her daughter and go to an Ivy. Leave the girl alone. I applaud a young person who doesn't want to lose a year of her life studying for SATs.</p>

<p>Yeah, but you have to compare the same person in both situation. The kid with the same initiative at Harvard or Brown will have more fun, be around more interesting cool people, and will get the same or more out of relationships. </p>

<p>And a year of studying? Since when!! I raised my score 140 pts with a 12 week course and studying during those weekends, hardly loosing my life. Anyway, you are totally judging the OP, her kid is acting like a slacker.</p>

<p>Don't mean to cause problems, but no one is paying attention to soozievt's post, and her post is important.</p>

<p>NYU has not notified RD candidates of their admission status yet - so how did your D get accepted, if not ED? And if ED, then you can stop worrying, since that's where she'll be attending.</p>

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<p>This is from the Ithaca website. ED decisions have been sent. If the OP was admitted there, they are done....of course that would mean that the OP also applied to two ED schools and we all know you can't do that. RD decisions won't be received until April. So...something isn't quite right here....ED at NYU....ED at Ithaca...hm....</p>

<p>Mom. take a deeeeeeeeep breath and let go</p>