Admission info/help for brilliant, stubborn daughter

Parents Forum
1

<p>My D's a brilliant stuudent, but stubborn beyond belief. While her grades are honors/AP 4.0 for four years (4.7 GPA), has great CSs, she did not perform well on SAT I, but did far better on SAT subject. Could have been Val, but would have had to take an additional AP class this year. Will finish 3/300. Doesn't study much - reads and listens to music. Absolutely refused to study for SATs in any meaningful way. Studies only enough to keep her grades.
She displays very little anxiety or excitement - I'm far more anxious than she is. Here's her background.</p>

<p>Public HS</p>

<p>8 APs last two years. APH-5, APB-5. Will take four more this year. Harvard Book Prize.
Drama, band, jazz band, choir, jazz choir - 4 instruments - sax, piano, flute, trombone - March Band Rookie of the year - March band Best Section Leader.</p>

<p>CSs -- Salvation Army, community outreach, tutor, church choir, church mission. Works summers.</p>

<p>Recommends - exceptional</p>

<p>SAT 680M, 650E, 700W SAT II 790M1, 700E, 720H</p>

<p>Acceptances to date:
Ithaca - President's Scholar $15,000
NYU - Trustee - $10,000
ASU - Dean Scholar - $9,000
UMASS - Commonwealth College - full tuition</p>

<p>Waiting on:</p>

<p>Harvard
Cornell
Brown
Bowdoin
Colby
Tufts
BU</p>

<p>I was unsuccessful in suggesting at least on more medium safe school such as Michigan. These were all her choices, and she would not accept any other suggestions.</p>

<p>What are chances and suggestions? </p>

<p>P.S. Would not consider legacy at Stanford and now, adamantly refuses UMASS. </p>

<p>Thanx</p>

2

<p>Suggestion: just let her live her life. Chances; very good at all schools except of course Harvard, etc. Stanford - ehh.</p>

3

<p>I'm not sure what you're asking for.... It's a bit late to apply to more schools, and from your information, you dd already has 4 acceptances in hand. You want to know if she'll get in to the schools she has already applied to? You want suggestions for more schools for her to apply to? I'm confused.... :)</p>

4

<p>it doesnt sound like she's that stubborn. "studies only enough to keep her grades" - well, yes, and she's third in her class. that entails a lot of studying or a lot of general smarts, neither of which can be faulted as stubbornness. it makes sense for her to refuse umass, because it's just not as good as her other acceptances and it'll be a very different environment. (although i'm always kinda surprised when people who apply to places like colby throw in nyu.) and stanford would have been the only west coast school on her list; it's okay not to want to apply there even when you're a legacy.
regardless, your daughter sounds like a great candidate and i would say in everywhere except maybe harvard and brown. she already has some good acceptances under her belt, why are you worrying?!</p>

5

<p>You talk like 3/300 and a 2130 SAT are bad things. I hope you don't berate her like that at home as well.</p>

6

<p>Are you unhappy with her choices? Because she looks like she is doing fine to me. Four acceptances already, and with merit $$-- congratulations! I don't know what kind of suggestions you think she needs at this point?--only thing I can think of is to keep her colleges informed of any new honors or awards.</p>

7

<p>It sounds like you have certain schools you prefer for her (maybe Stanford?) and, if she is not accepted to her reach schools that you are not confident she has the right safety/match schools to choose from.</p>

<p>But she has her own preferences. And.... whoever chose the list should be commended on a very balanced one - reaches, matches, safeties. She has some good options already.</p>

<p>Suggestions? I don't think you need any at this point. The waiting is hard, I know. Believe me I know - with a son who has transfer applications pending where we won't hear until late May. So, I would suggest distracting yourself with other things and see how the options look come April. If your D is as stubborn then as she is now, she'll probably know just where she wants to go. If not, there will be lots of discussion here on how to choose.</p>

<p>Truly, you are fortunate that she is not feeling the anxiety. Again, I have the same experience - my S is not anxious and I am. Imagine how much worse it would be if she were a stressed out bundle of worry.</p>

<p>If the bottom line is that her choices are not your choices, well - that is an entirely different story. We'll commiserate with you then, or meet you over in Sinner's Alley where we let off steam :rolleyes:, if that's what the doctor orders.</p>

8

<p>Your daughter has four acceptances in hand, with merit scholarships, and more acceptances are highly likely to be on the way. She's going to college next fall no matter what else happens with the other schools on her list. Relax. Be happy. Enjoy these last months with her.</p>

9

<p>I would echo JMMom's post. For planning purposes, I would be shocked if she were admitted to Harvard and am skeptical about Cornell and Brown and Tufts is certainly not an odd on proposition.</p>

<p>But she's made her choices, they're not unreasonable, and she'll live with the results...so should you. She could do far worse than attend NYU or any of the others that come knocking. ASU is the "odd" one in that list.</p>

10

<p>D is a recent alumni of the ASU Barrett Honors College with musical interests and a highly successful undergrad experience and excellent grad school outcome.PM me if you need further info on that choice for your D.</p>

11

<p>I'd be interested in your thoughts/impressions about the Commonwealth College at UMass. Does your daughter have valid reasons for not wanting to attend or does just being in Mass. eliminate it?</p>

12

<p>Btw, Cathee, when I said "ASU = odd," it wasn't a slam...it just was a "which one is not like the others?" observation.</p>

13

<p>I'm with you TheDad - I was trying to decide what other ASU it could be - nothing against the school, maybe there is some other ASU???</p>

<p>Captcoll - I had one of those daughters. "Why would I want to be val or sal, I'd have to give a speech???". Now she did end up delivering the sermon for Senior Sunday at our church, and did an absolutely super job, an amazing job - so it wasn't lack of speaking ability or fear. She hated grade grubbing - she loves learning. She studied just as much as she had to study - no more no less, life is too short. </p>

<p>You have to let them make their own choices if they are that independent. The worst that can happen is that the fit is so poor she wants to transfer. If she has been independent enough to come up with her own list, and have her reasons for each school, then she will be independent enough to make a go of it or to transfer. Your problem is paying for it all.</p>

<p>I think she should get into Colby or Bowdoin or both.</p>

14

<p>


2030, not 2130. A 2030 does tend to remove her from consideration at her top schools if they go by the numbers, but I agree that it is not a bad score. Just not in keeping with her curriculum choices, her SAT subject tests, her GPA, or her class rank. My guess is that is what the OP was saying. As to what help we can be now? I'll go with the others who say that her acceptances so far look pretty good to me. If NYU and Ithaca are both palatable and doable I don't think there is a lot to be worried about, nor much we can do about it now.</p>

15

<p>Thanks for your replies. I realize we're in the "just waiting" mode. While Cangel and others gave some great advice, my concern was the "what if she doesn't get in" to at least one of her reach/match schools. I don't want to her to have a meltdown. Yes, she is independent, and her sentiments about VAL/SAL were identical to Cangel's D.</p>

<p>My other point was that she has such broad interests and talents yet never focused on one particular interest, or decided on a major. My son set his sites early (12) on marine biology, learned to scuba dive, and is driving toward his PhD. I just find it hard to find ways to help her.</p>

<p>While, she realizes that Harvard, Cornell, and Brown are reaches, she also believes that Bowdoin, Colby, and Tufts are matches, with Bowdoin her top choice.and those are her top choices,too. I feel she could have chosen at least one top tier school below BU, such as Goucher. BTW, she applied to UMASS only because of her M, who's an alumnus.</p>

<p>I was surprised that several here thought Bowdoin and Colby are possible. I thought NYU and BU were closer matches, based on her 2030 SAT. She has never tested well on PSAT/SAT, but on MCAS she scored 98%M and 97%E.</p>

<p>In fact, her Harvard interviewer told her in so many words, not to worry about her SATs, her other tests and quals were so high that she was among a few "candidates that just do not test well and we always give them a second look." I thought he should never have said that, and besides statistics contradict his statement.</p>

16

<p>I'm not sure the concern either. I happen to think her list is well balanced in terms of reaches, matches, and safeties. True, there is imbalance between large universities like UMass. BU, Cornell, or ASU and Colby, Ithaca, or Bowdoin. Your D seems to have done very well in school and is a viable candidate at many selective schools. I would think that Harvard is not too likely but the rest of her list is an appropriate one. </p>

<p>ALREADY she is in at some schools, and with merit aid to boot. One of those schools, NYU, is quite selective, with an approx. admit rate of 28%. To earn a Trustee Scholarship, means she even STOOD out at that school. My D got one of those as well (for $20,000) and they are not that common. One question I would have is how she knows she is admitted or that she got the scholarship at NYU because those decisions come out on April 1. My D also got that scholarship at Ithaca. Your D already has fine options without even touching her reach schools. Ithaca would be a safety but NYU is in her match range. She seems like a solid candidate. I really don't know what more you could have wanted her to do. I bet she has more choices in the end. Any of her matches or reaches are very good schools. She didn't need a school like Goucher on her list. Already she is admitted to NYU, a much more selective school so I am ntot sure the issue there. She had Ithaca too....kinda in Goucher's range. And why should she go to UMass unless it is a cost issue? She is too good of a student and has other prospects at this juncture. She even has merit aid. </p>

<p>I know it is an anxious time but your D IS doing VERY well and in fact, she has a more balanced list of schools than some other kids in terms of chances.</p>

17

<p>Captcoll - should she have added Goucher - yeah, she should have added Goucher. Is it possible that she may "end up" at Ithaca (for example) - yeah, it is possible. It is also possible that she will get into all these schools and have an embarassment of riches. It is also possible that had she added a couple more schools that she would have had too many essays to write - it happens - and not done as good a job as she could have on the essays.</p>

<p>Remember that a match is a 50-50 shot. If you have 5 schools on your list, and your average chance over those 5 schools is 50-50, then the likelihood of completely striking out is low - it can happen, there can be a bad rec or an essay you thought was OK that is bad, striking out at 4-5 matches is unlikely. You could argue that she only has BU, Colby and Bowdoin as matches, on either side of 50-50, but that still will give her a 1 in 8 chance of striking out - not bad odds, particularly since the safeties are already in the bag.</p>

<p>Also, if she has the courseload to go with those grades, I would worry less about her SATs, I'm factoring that in, that she has As in solid classes - perhaps that was what the Harvard guy was getting at. A strong schedule might well offset some points on the SAT in this instance.</p>

18

<p>Let's not forget that she has an excellent GPA and rank and very good SAT2 scores and AP scores and challenging curriulum. These schools look at the whole picture. BU and Colby are schools where I think she has a very good chance. She has a chance at the others (though I think slim at Harvard) too. Nothing is a sure thing but her list is appropriate overall in terms of odds.</p>

19

<p>What's the deal? She can get a fine education at ANY of these places. With the first four schools, well maybe NYU excepted, you won't have to break the bank. You already have an abundance of riches if she doesn't get in ANYWHERE else.</p>

<p>Give thanks.</p>

20

<p>I agree with the others. There is really no advice to give. This student has excelled despite the fact that she doesn't seem to have to work hard to do so. Good for her!! The schools where she already has acceptances (oh...and money) are all fine schools. If she doesn't get accepted at her reach and match schools, she still has some great choices already in her hands. Everyone has a slim chance of being accepted at Harvard. I would think she has a great chance at BU, Bowdoin and Colby. I agree with Carolyn, enjoy what you have and when the time comes let your daughter make a decision from the acceptances she has. She already has some good options!!</p>