<p>First off, I am a great student with great grades and wonderful SAT scores and all that other stuff. Yale is my first choice and I am applying there SCEA. I know that I have a chance, but I am being very realistic about the whole process and know that anything can happen, so as not to set myself up for a huge letdown. I am just trying to do my best to get in, and if I don't, I'm sure I will come to grips with the situation.</p>
<p>However, my parents, family, and most of my friends are uttering that phrase that I hate CONSTANTLY: "Oh yeah, with those scores, you can go ANYWHERE you want!" In fact, my dad told me just last night that I have a "0.000000% chance of being denied at Yale." I know that this is FAR from true for ANYONE, including me, and every time someone says something positive I want to cringe because of the added pressure. I know they mean well and its great that my parents fully support me, but I really cannot take it anymore. I have tried to bring them to reality, but it is not working at all so far. </p>
<p>From your experiences, is there anything I could possibly say or do that could help with my situation? Thanks.</p>
<p>As a parent, I can tell you that reading some of the admissions results threads on College Confidential was an eye-opening experience. You may want to casually suggest to your parents to take a look at last year's Yale admissions results thread in the Yale forum. There were plenty of super-qualified students who were not accepted. There is also a New York Times article floating around that talks about how difficult it was to be admitted to some schools (I think that the article was published in March).</p>
<p>I don't want to scare you, but I think that this upcoming admissions season is going to be as tough, if not tougher.</p>
<p>You may also want to tell them, discreetly, that the statements that they are making make you uncomfortable.</p>
<p>I can see how this would be really stressful.</p>
<p>If bringing them to reality with the numbers and facts (or even anecdotes from people you all know) isn't working, explain to your parents that you think you could do well at any school. Though you appreciate their support and enthusiasm about Yale, you really don't know what's going to happen next year, and you don't want everything set on a certain option. It's adding pressure to an already pressure-filled time of year, so you would appreciate it if their support was broad-based and not founded on a specific school or specific instances. You could also tell them that you'd like to not talk about college as much when they make comments like that, and maybe they would catch on. When friends or other family members say things like that, you can have a response ready, such as: "Well, last year they only accepted --% of students, and this year it's supposed to be even tougher. I'm really just excited to go to college--I think I'd be happy at any of the schools on my list."</p>
<p>Even if your parents still have that over-confidence, they will probably "humor you," which should at least make you feel better.</p>
<p>OTOH, I tried to keep my son realistic - that although he was qualified, there was no guarantee and MANY qualifed applicants get rejected for the sole reason that there isn't room for everyone. I strongly suggested he add more safety schools since match schools for those with high stats are actually reaches... He felt I didn't have confidence in him... sometimes, it's tough to be a parent...</p>
<p>Admission decisions are not based on the student's stats alone but on other factors such as the needs of the college as it tries to build a class. For this reason, it is impossible for all but a few students to predict application results. Friends of my S got into MIT but not into Yale or Harvard; or into Harvard but not Yale; or into Princeton and MIT but not Harvard.</p>
<p>Besides showing your parents last year's admission results, you could play along and suggest that you should apply to other schools that are less of a crapshoot than HYPSM and to some outright safety schools (both in terms of admission and finances) where you would be happy to attend. GCs nowadays recommend applying to 8-10 schools, and you should certainly consider this possibility.</p>
<p>You should apply SCEA to Yale, but at the same time (or in fact, well before) make up a list of other schools that are reaches, matches, and safeties where you would be happy (consider size, location, feel, as well as more academic issues such as strength in your intended major). Begin to write essays for those schools ahead of the Yale results and make sure that your GC's and teachers' recs are ready to go. There's nothing more difficult than to try to write new essays after receiving disappointing news and in a very short time period (especially with the Xmas holidays). If you receive good news (fingers crossed!), then you can stop the process for the other schools (unless you want to compare offers) and save yourself some application fees.</p>
<p>If my daughter was in my class (of 81!) She'd have gotten into Yale...now she'd be lucky to get into GW. It's a different world than when we applied to two schools. Heck if you got over 600 on an SAT, people thought you were a genius! I've seen some kids (and parents) get totally side swiped, by applying to schools that WERE attainable for us and our classmates, but IT'S a TOTALLY DIFFERENT WORLD for you guys...and thank goodness you realize the competition. Now you might very well, get into Yale or anywhere. But I agree with previous posts, get on the acceptance threads from CC and college data foor Yale, the they'll see that even though you might be qualified....you're certainly not alone!</p>
<p>Best of Luck and follow your own instincts!</p>
<p>Hi Phurley. I had a similar problem this past application season. While my parents were pretty realistic (sometimes a little too realistic so that, at times, I thought they didn't have confidence in me, like in jerzgrlmom's situation), people around me said the exact same thing your parents are saying to you. I eventually felt the same stress and resentment that you feel now. Every time someone said that to me, I kept on wondering, "Well, what are you going to say if I'm rejected?" </p>
<p>For the most part, with people you don't know well and don't see on a regular basis, it's okay to just say thanks, smile, and accept the compliment. They mean well. For people closer to you, you can try explaining to them how tough the admissions process is without going into too much detail (otherwise they might feel like you're just throwing their compliments back in their faces). For example, you could say, "Well, Yale is a really tough school to get into these days, as are all the top schools. So I'm just hoping for the best. But thanks for your confidence in me!" </p>
<p>As for your parents, they sound very supportive of you, which means they should understand when you tell them that you feel too pressured/uncomfortable when they make such statements.</p>
<p>My D was part of the Yale bloodbath of 2004 and from what I've seen here, the pattern hasn't changed. She had incredible scores, excellent grades, and a demonstrated passion for an EC to the tune of 18-20 hours/week. Struck out at not only Y but H & S as well. Couldn't be happier than where she wound up, a top 15-20 LAC. </p>
<p>I recommend you search out some of the "admissions results" threads. Look not at the profiles of those who got admitted, but those who were denied. Print those out for your parents.</p>
<p>The world has indeed changed. When my D scored 1400 on her first try on the SAT as a junior, I said, "Great...you're done." Then I discovered CC. Oh...merde. And reality began to set in.</p>
<p>If it were true that a great set of stats means you'll naturally get in someplace, then this board would be full of people who got into every place they applied. But it doesn't happen that way. People get in to Harvard but rejected from Cornell; waitlisted at Brown but accepted to Williams, and so on.</p>
<p>I second these posts. My S was rejected at Yale and I thought he would be a shoo in: 2350 SAT one time, 2340 on 3 other SATs, 10 APs with 9 5s (6 at time of app with all 5s), highest GPA in toughest course load in the 125 year history of a highly regarded CT private school, 2 languages to multiple AP levels, language and lit, both European languages for Asian kid, 780 math SAT 2, 800 in PHysics, took all history, science, math etc courses to toughest level, art history at Cornell, computer science at Cornell to C+ level, no 2 on varsity tennis team, national medals in 2 languages, 2 physics teachers wrote saying if he stuck with physics he may well be a Nobel contender, saying the best kid they had taught in their entire lives. All this is not to boast. But absolutely rejected from Yale, we thought he would be the perfect fit for their Directed Studies program. School counselor told us, "shoo in", "I guarantee admission" etc.</p>
<p>He got into Brown (and he is far from quirky) and Columbia and a bunch of the top schools but no rhyme or reason. So, please be open to total rejection this upcoming year, hope it does not happen, have a lot of safeties at various levels and various regions and types, it is going to be very very hard. MY S landed fine but most kids at his highly competitive school got wiped out.</p>
<p>Have your parents read this thread and hear of the experiences of other parents of "shoo-ins." I put that word in parentheses because there really are so few shoo-ins (maybe a handful in the whole nation every year). </p>
<p>My D's experience--1560 SATs (old system out of 1600), 2nd in class, really into music and science. Applied SCEA Yale and was rejected right out of the chute in that bloodbath year of 2004. (I suppose every year is a bloodbath, nowadays.) Accepted by Harvard, MIT and Stanford RD. She's a rising senior at Harvard.</p>
<p>And if you really want to make your parents lose sleep, find the thread about Andison from a couple of years ago. Here was a kid who looked like a shoo-in, but did not get into any of the schools he applied to. Took a gap year and got into MIT. </p>
<p>Seriously, with a little bit of knowledge, your parents will quit talking about super-selective colleges and will start talking a lot more about safety schools!</p>
<p>and they might become new members of the CC Parent Forum...</p>
<p>Well done! I hope that you are appropriately proud of your accommplishments.</p>
<p>The Brown stats had been online. They reject 65% of the applicants who are valedictorians, similar percentages of kids with 800 math SATs, or 800 verbal SATs. </p>
<p>"Listen, you think you are giving me support, but the reality is is that I have one chance in 3 of getting into Yale and I need to visit other schools and be prepared with another 10 applications to schools that I love..."</p>
<p>With a twinkle in your eye, ask your dad if he's ready to fund a stadium. No, I'm not saying you can buy your way in, but do let him know that when the prince of XXX wants an American education, he's applying to places like Yale. Tell him you may not be a complete minnow but we are talking swimming with the whales -- Hear the love in his statements. He thinks you are fabulous -- which is great.</p>
<p>Humor can defang so many things. Tell him, with a chuckle, that every time he says you are a "shoo in" that you're going to a) schedule an appointment with a military recruiter or b) get a tattoo or c) visit a massage parlor (or whatever else pulls his parental chain) just to take the pressure off of him thinking you can do no wrong. My son is a champion at getting me to back off -- and, like you, he's a strong student with a balanced sense of himself. His college search ended with a great fit.
We're rooting for you!</p>
<p>One option is to keep your mouth shut about the whole subject, while at the same time compiling a sensible list of colleges to apply to if you are deferred or rejected SCEA by Yale, and privately working on the applications to those colleges.</p>
<p>In most instances, you will not need to submit anything to those colleges before the SCEA results come in, but you will need to be very ready to submit those applications almost immediately thereafter.</p>
<p>In the rare cases where you do have to submit something before the SCEA results come in, you may have a problem with the application fee if you do not have your own credit card. In that instance -- and only that instance -- will you need to seek your parents' help.</p>
<p>You might also want to explain to your family that Yale is likely to be flooded with SCEA applications this year, since, as of this year, Harvard and Princeton no longer offer Early Admissions. Tell him that it's very likely that you will get a deferral and would like to keep your options open as there are so many great schools at there.</p>
<p>It's important that you believe this too. Yale will likely have its hands full in December.</p>
<p>As parents, we all think our children are the most wonderful creatures ever born upon this planet - who would ever dare reject them? Your parents are obviously the same - very proud of their child. </p>
<p>Let them know how much you appreciate their support, but you need to be realistic and plan alternatives. Then, I like Olymom's advice on how to handle it with humor. Parents can be frustrating at times, but we do it out of love. =)</p>
<p>You've gotten so much good advice here and you sound so smart and sensible, I think you'll take it. Your parents probably mean well. They just don't understand the current admissions climate. You might get into Yale, but you might not and there are HUNDREDS of other GREAT options out there. The Andison story on cc is what opened my eyes--a similar student to my son who was accepted nowhere he applied. So work on a balanced list of schools you could love and be ready to apply if you get rejected or deferred from Yale. In fact, why not send out the common app to several schools when you do your Yale app? Some even waive the fee if you submit online. Then you would only have supplements to deal with later, if needed.</p>
<p>I'm quite sure that many kids wind up at better-fit colleges after being rejected by HYP. If you need help generating a larger list, you've come to the right place!</p>
<p>thank you so much for all of your excellent advice.</p>
<p>my parents are really helpful, but i have to stop letting them try to hijack my application. my dad always talks in the plural when concerning my college choices :)</p>
<p>but i will put your advice to work and see if it works. thank you!</p>
<p>I'm sure he loves you. A friend of mine always referred to her colleges and her list. Now that their daughter has settled on a school, they have surrendered the school to their d and gotten excited.</p>
<p>While you're at it, look into some top LAC's as well as other Ivies, and then safeties down the line in both universities and colleges.</p>
<p>Our S had 2 800's and was rejected from Yale early. It was very hard for him to recover and apply everywhere in the weeks following, but he did. Then the RD round taught us something about this son. He was waitlisted at other Ivies (Columbia, Brown) and rejected in RD by Yale. He was accepted by the 4 LAC's he applied to, and chose Amherst. There must have been something about his essays or situation that signalled to AdComs that LAC was right fit for him. We and he didn't understand that during the application process. </p>
<p>No harm done, either. In October of his freshman year he wrote that he was so happy where he was that if he'd known more about it, it would have been his first choice all along.</p>