<p>I have a story some of you might enjoy.
I was sitting in the Admissions Office of the boarding school where I teach, waiting to speak with a prospective student who wanted to meet the coach of his/her sport. A mother and daughter sat near me; the mother kept adjusting her daughter's clothes and snapped at her in a fierce whisper to sit up straight and smile. Mom was also fiercely reminding her daughter to ask good questions throughout the tour and telling her she would be judged on everything she said and did, so to be mindful. The Head of Admissions walked over and introduced them to 2 tour guides. As sometimes happens, both guides asked questions in quick succession; daughter answered question #2. Mom loudly said "Don't be silly, DC, that's not what they were asking you! Tell them the answer to question #1!" The daughter did, shyly and quietly, earning a perma-freeze grimace from Mom and the loud comment "I don't know why she's being so shy! She's normally so talkative and lively! That's what everyone at her school says!" The Head of Admissions offered that one tour guide would take the daughter on a tour, and the other would take the Mom. Mom refused this, mentioning that she had already taken a tour and that she preferred to stay with her child. Eventually all four set off together. The office was empty of visiting families.</p>
<p>After they left, the Head of Admissions smiled sadly at a nearby colleague, shrugged, and quietly said "Well, I tried."</p>
<p>Just a little story from the other side.
Feel free to draw your own conclusions from this.</p>
<p>Can think of one school we went to last year that did this (separate tours for parent and student)…DS LOVEd it. He could speak freely to another kid, and even though he largely filled me in after we left campus, it made a real impression on him as a positive thing. I’m surprised more schools don’t do it, other than the fact that it must require some significant logistical expertise from the AO.</p>
<p>I agree. The separation would be advantageous and probably a gift for that child.</p>
<p>I still have some occasions where I have to kick parents out of a college interview. Or I can read from the student’s expressions that they’re interviewing to please their parents and not because they actually want to go to the school. I so feel for those students inability to cut those iron-fortified apron strings.</p>
<p>As inappropriate as the mother was in this instance, I don’t think it is a bad idea to council your child BEFORE arriving at the school to be engaged and ask questions. Having children who have volunteered as tour guides at their schools, they say it can be very awkward when giving a 45 minute tour and the applicant acts like a mute. It happens quite a bit :)</p>
<p>Just goes to show how a helicopter parent, of which they’re many, can turn off an AO and potentially undermine a child’s chance to be admitted. </p>
<p>The interview is the least predictable, big influencer in the whole admission’s process. An average kid on paper who sparkles in the interview will often see a thick envelope long before the brighter, more accomplished kid who was “bleh” in the interview.</p>
<p>Parlabane’s Six Interview/Tour Rules for Boarding School</p>
<p>UPFRONT
Get your parents (or an adult friend) to pretend that they’re an interviewer and ask you some typical interview questions. This gives you a chance to figure out what YOUR opinions are and to practice articulating them. This is NOT a memorization exercise for canned responses (ugh!). It’s just a general readiness exercise.</p>
<ol>
<li>Know about the school where you’re interviewing and why you would like to attend THAT SCHOOL. Memorize 1-3 questions that are the most important to you to be answered, specific to THAT SCHOOL and any other questions you wish to ask that would apply to all the schools you’re visiting. REMEMBER, this is a two way process. You need to learn as much about them as much as they need to learn about you.</li>
</ol>
<p>DAY OF
3. Firm handshake and eye contact. Direct, authentic, engaged.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Smile, smile, smile - and feel free to laugh if something’s funny. You can’t begin to appreciate the power of a ready smile and a positive attitude. It changes everything!</p></li>
<li><p>Have fun. This is the attitude to take at all times! Don’t be scared. Let the other kids be nervous, you’re there to have fun, meet someone new, make a friend. Get in this frame of mind no matter what it takes. (Note to Helipcopter Parents - you know who you are - lay off, this is the time for your kid to be who he or she is without the added pressure of pleasing you.)</p></li>
</ol>
<p>AFTER
6. Write a thank you note to the AO (parents should too).</p>
<p>Ya know - when a local private school converted to Charter, they had to operate via new rules. State was paying so tuition was now free. But it required enrollment by a certain deadline. I literally saw children whose feet barely touched the ground as their parents (fueled by the school’s prior academic prowess and dreams of miracles) were dragging them out of the car and sprinting to the school door to sign up.</p>
<p>Seriously (although the above is true)
Some prospective private school parents don’t know how much they may be hurting their student’s chances by being so overt and so controlling. That’s why, when some disappointed parents speculate that a less qualified student took their child’s spot, I suspect it had more to do with a equally qualified, less coached, more communicative, more enjoyable (fill in the blanks) student took it. And that the newly admitted student’s parents were deemed to be likely to generate 90% less drama and complaint calls to the school afterwards :)</p>