I went to CMU with son. He stayed on campus, and I was at a hotel. I met 2 lovely moms, and we drove around the area. We ate together at hotel. This was my first time in Pittsburgh.
In LA, I had rented a car, as we had 2 schools to see in the area. I got lost and pulled off to study the map. I think I was near hysterical. My son was just so helpful. There was no way he could handle getting to these schools, as there was no,public transportation and we had missed the admitted students weekend (I wouldn’t have flown him across country for different weekends). One U bent over backwards to give him a list of classes he could attend. They had me join a group of women doing an architectural tour of campus. They asked him to return the next day to attend other classes. To this day, I’m convinced that the admissions person we met with, who spent an hour with my son, was what lead to his decision. It might have been a big mistake, not going to CMU, but we were both naive.
My kids applied to a lot of places that were pretty far away, and when there are plane fares involved, it’s a lot cheaper to send them to accepted students’ visits alone (not to mention they don’t need a hotel room if they stay overnight in a dorm, whereas you do). Both of them enjoyed the experience and didn’t seem to miss me. In fact, my son’s doing an overnight at one of his top choices on his own at this very moment! These were all schools I’d seen on our initial visits, though. If I’d never laid eyes on the place, I might feel differently.
My son was admitted ED to U Penn - They invited a parent and student to attend the Quaker ED days (but only 1 parent) and I went as did my son… they had completely separate events though for both parents and student throughout the day - we didn’t meet up until the basketball game at night. Lots of parents and it was really fun!
I did not attend any admitted students days or post-admission visits with either daughter. My husband went with D1 to the school in California that she ended up attending, and he went with D2 to a school in Washington state that she didn’t attend and to the school in Minnesota that she ended up attending. I can’t remember if any of the visits were on admitted students days; H went along mainly for providing ground transport. D1 did two visits on her own, and D2 did at least two on her own. I think they were fine with not having parents along when they made the solo trips, and I was fine not going; they were the ones picking their colleges, not me.
I would contact them and ask whether there are events for parents. Personally, I wouldn’t be willing to pay plane fare to attend these events, but if it’s a reasonable trip for you, or if you will be driving your child there anyhow, it makes sense to attend. I drove my kid to the events she attended and they did have some separate activities for parents.
We went with D1 to admitted students days at her then top choice. She loved the campus and thought the school curriculum were good fit for her. I didn’t get such a great vibe and didn’t think it would be a good fit for D1 based on what I knew of her. I was able to point out few things I observed to her.
I think parents can be more objective than 18 year old sometimes. It is good to have a another set of eyes when it comes to a major decision.
I attended 1 honors weekend with my DS a 4.5 hour drive away. There were events for parents both social and informational. I stayed in a hotel. He stayed on campus with a host. We chose not to have him drive alone due to a good chance of bad weather causing poor driving conditions and the fact that he is not yet old enough to rent a hotel room in the event that bad weather made stopping on the way the safest plan. However, he did drive the entire way there so he knows what a drive of that distance feels like and that he CAN do it. I drove home because he enjoyed staying up late with his host and he slept the first hour or so of the way home.
I attended Columbia’s admitted student days with DD. There were lots of parents there, and activities.
She stayed with a student, and I stayed at a hotel.
D didn’t attend admitted weekends, but she did visit schools to which she was admitted. I never thought of not going. First, I was the transportation. Second, even if had not provided the transportation, my D wanted my input (although I stayed objective and let her think through everything with me as a sounding board). Third, I wanted to see the places myself; we had never been to some. Fourth, even with the ones we had seen before, I wanted to be there in case someone in the administration and/or faculty wanted to meet with a parent (which they did in every place but two, and one of those had an option to speak to an administrator). Fifth, it was fun for my D and I to experience this together, even though we spent a large portion of most visits doing separate things!
Every school seems to do it differently. I went with D1 to Princeton’s; she stayed with existing students, while I stayed in a hotel. There were different tracks for parents and students. She went to Kenyon’s alone, because they paid for her flight, and she stayed with students. That same weekend was NYUAD’s in NYC. We explained that our D couldn’t attend, but they invited us to come anyway, and they paid for our hotel. We were very glad we went. D2’s schools’ accepted student days didn’t offer overnight options, so we accompanied her to both RISD and SAIC for their full day programs. Almost everyone had parents along. I found them very enlightening.
Both my husband and I went with D1 and we are going next week with D2 to all admitted students days of their top choices. We look at it as a great way to spend some time together before they leave in the fall.
D1 was pretty sure of her choice and only went to one, and went by herself. D2 was less certain, the schools were more expensive, and she is not as experienced a traveler as D1, so I went with her to all 3. We found it quite useful to compare notes afterward, as all of them had some separate activities. If you can afford it, I would go.
@NCmom14 I can speak for Columbia. Parents are welcome to attend NSOP but you will follow a separate program and will be invited to bid farewell to your child on the first day (usually in late afternoon). Orientation itself is for the students. Many events are mandatory, so you don’t see much of your child unless they cut sessions (which can cause problems).
Whether parents “should” has a lot to do with finances. An extra plane ticket, hotel room for parent and rental car may be nothing for one family but be a significant burden on others. For families with younger children, it’s a juggling act if one parent is gone for a weekend; for those without younger children, it’s just hop on the plane and go. It was easy, fun and worthwhile for me to go, but I can redeem miles, am used to amusing myself in strange cities and didn’t have the care of younger kids to arrange.
@klingon97, the OP wasn’t asking about Orientation, right? Different story from accepted student visits.
I am one of those parents who didn’t think I could afford to go to admitted students’ days. I didn’t have paid vacation when either daughter was in high school. My husband was unemployed when D2 was a senior. He went on a few trips so he could provide ground transport; I’ve only recently gotten comfortable driving in new places, so he fit that role much better than I would have.
We did a number of visits to schools when the guys were compiling their lists, but the guys went solo to their final choices. ETA (foggy brain): they didn’t go to Accepted Students Weekends – they wanted to experience their choices without the PR recruitment filters. (I did go to the Accepted Students Day at UMD with them for the scholarship interviews – parents were encouraged to attend that, and it’s only a 40 minute drive away). It was important to navigate the travel without Mom and Dad, IMO, as youdon’tsay said. Know a few kids who decided that transfers and solo flights were more than they wanted to deal with.
That said, I didn’t set foot on the UChicago campus until S1’s freshman move-in (other than the trip DH and I made there when he interviewed for the Law School in 1986) and I didn’t visit Tufts til the summer after S2 graduated from HS, and we were in the area to drop S1 off for an internship in Cambridge. DH had taken the guys to what wound up being their schools as part of a college tour spring break trip junior year.
Both guys came to the conclusion that distance was fine as long as they could fly SWA.
@NCmom14 My son also received an LL from Columbia. Accepted student days are mainly for regular decision admits who may still be choosing from among several options. My son already visited CU twice, including a stayover in the dorms. I imagine most apps to Columbia (especially ED) have visited previously. Btw, if you don’t mind sharing, curious as to what your son received the LL for. You can PM me if you prefer.