My S got a likely letter to Columbia and an invitation to attend one of their admitted students weekends in April. I can’t find a schedule or details online. Do most parents go to these types of weekends (after acceptance before commit)? Are there usually sessions specifically for parents? Thanks.
At U Rochester they had parent specific activities also. Seemed that most students had a parent along.
My kids went to these alone. I didn’t think they needed the added pressure of Mom or Dad falling in love with a school just as the kid was figuring out it wasn’t for him…
Different schools approach this differently. Carnegie Mellon’s events were largely for families and since I had not seen the place either I did some things with my son. He attended classes on his own and spent the night with students there while I stayed in a hotel. U of Chicago was similar. Harvard made it very clear that the weekend was strictly for kids. They had a one hour evening question and answer for parents. They hand you a map of Boston when you drop your kid off and tell parents to have fun somewhere other than Cambridge. I liked all the schools my kids applied to - I was as torn as the were about what the right choice was for them, but I never pushed one school over another.
@mathmom, I am guessing things have changed. Harvard actually ran a very good program for parents that was mostly but not exclusively run parallel to the kids’ weekend. There were several panel discussions aimed at parents and several that were aimed at everyone. There was a social hour that was only for parents. They even gave out parent tee shirts. 
I was very glad that we attended.
Harvard was definitely at the extreme end of all the accepted students events I’ve attended, but that one was a while ago. I suspect they got a lot of complaints from parents! (They did give us a t-shirt, which I can’t wear since my kid decided to go elsewhere!)
A few years ago I went to Northwestern’s Wildcat days. I went along. While my daughter was in her school specific talk, I had an appointment with financial aid. Then there were seminar talks, and my D wanted to go to all of them, but time would only allow two or three. So I went to the others to take notes for her. I think I went to the Career Center talk, and something else. It was useful to her to have me along for those things.
If you can get a schedule somehow, that would help you to decide.
I did go to two admitted school days with my D- she preferred that I go and liked having a sounding board on various questions that came up. It was also nice that I could rent a car and we could go explore the surrounding areas. The third one she attended, I sent my husband with her…it was one of the top two and I wanted him to see the campus and immediate neighboring areas- more urban than the other two. It was nice that we could discuss it all together and, in fact, she called from this school and asked to please make the deposit. I felt confident that we all agreed!
Also- there were many parent/family oriented activities.
^^ Ditto about NU. My mom came with me. There was no added pressure. We both wanted to see the school. I knew her presence would help us come to a decision. There were activities and meals for parents there. She also met some other NU parents which was helpful. Not to mention that your child will have to stay somewhere, probably a hotel.
I attended with S’12, he went to school pretty close to home. D’15 flew to her accepted student weekend solo (and was hosted by a student in her dorm).
Check if there are events for parents. My limited experience has been that parents are welcome to attend, but they want to split the kids and parents apart for some part of the day. If you don’t see any parent events, don’t come!
We did ask the kids if they wanted us to attend or not. They did both say “yes please; I’d appreciate your insights.” And then did what they wanted.
Every school admitted day we went to welcomed parents and had a parents specific component(s) to the day (or days). I went to all of them as I wanted to get a feel for the school as well.
Speaking as a student, I love having my parents come with me on college tours. Unfortunately because of distance and money they haven’t been able to go to any accepted students days with me. I know that every person is different, but I wish that my family had the means to come with me to these events.
If you decide not to go, this is a great first chance for kids to learn to navigate getting to that school on their own rather than relying on parents.
Yes I’d forgotten that there were two competing things that my son was interested in at Tufts - he went to one and I went to the other and took notes. My kids got driven to their school by us with stuff and figured out trains and planes later. It wasn’t that hard. Actually I flew with the older one to CMU and we had an adventure as he’d forgotten his ID and I had obviously forgotten to remind him to bring it. Amusingly the solution turned out to be to lie about his age. (They told us to - they did put him down for a body search which I thought was small punishment for our stupidity!) But I am glad we made that mistake together, not with him on his own.
I went to a few with my S and he was happy to have someone to talk things through with.
I’d love to be able to go with my daughter but for the ones that involve a plane fare she’ll probably have to go alone.
In a couple of weeks, I’ll be going with my D to her admitted students days. There are programs for students and parents together and others for students only or parents only. Parents leave well before the end of the day and return in the morning, while the kids sleep in the freshmen dorms with assigned hosts. Since we’re flying across the country to do this and it’s the school D has already chosen, I’ll be talking with FA and the business office while she’s off taking placement tests, attending classes and such. We’ll mostly see each other at meal time. It seems like an ideal set up.
I went with my daughter to one admitted students event and had planned to go to another but we were snowed out on the second one. D, instead, set up an overnight visit and attended a couple of classes with the help of the admissions rep on her own. I did not accompany her on that visit.
The accepted students event I attended had parallel events for parents. D and I arrived a full day early and spent the time exploring the area. The next day, I dropped my daughter off and only saw her in passing until the following day.
Both ways had its pros and cons. D liked having me along for the first visit (she was nervous) but it was apparent that she didn’t need me for the second visit.
I went with D to her admitted students weekend and we had a lot of fun - did a Segway tour of Boston, drove all around.
I don’t even remember an admitted students day for NU - If they had one, I certainly didn’t go - because I was really trying to step back and let S have his own experience without my view.