advice about getting girls in college

College Confidential Community
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<p>anyone here who actually wasnt that good with girls in high school (as in never did anything) start to get closer with girl in college? share your stories. okay in high school ive never considered my self a loner but i just never really had the courage to walk up to girls and talk, and i used to be shy, that shyness to from 7th grade to break down and was broken down around 11th grade when i actually cared about girls, i did met girls, but i was a little excited, so i became an ***hole with them, trying to seem confident while i was still afraid of some of them. </p>

<p>college is turning out to be a different story for me, i introduce myself in more of a mature way and ask them my best and well known topic: school. this works like a charm, usually i start break the barrier by asking their major or why they are taking the class or how long they've been here or what class they are taking depending on the situation...i think our fear of meeting new people is that we assume they will ignore us or laugh at us, let me that out of every time i've tried to start a convo with a girl, not once did she give me a cold answer, in fact its true that they say women love to talk, no joke (so pick wisely lol) so start by a topic your really good at, soon enough it will be like a routine and you be smooth when you talk, not only that you develope better communications so you sound more confident, i.e. if at first you dont know what to say to someone, soon enough you will have your own introduction to use, but if your at that begining stage look for every moment to break that fear to speak.</p>

<p>i will say this, there is times and moments that i cant take up the courage to sya something but other times i feel so confident (mostly depending on how i look, so get fresh) that i will talk to random women maybe at the mall, like say how are you ladies? but rarely for why it doesnt seem awkard. and let me tell you what, these are 30 year old beautiful women that look at this 18 year old like he knows what he wants in life.</p>

<p>now i have not reached the point of getting a girl friend yet but i will fill you in on tips once i do, anyone else who does can provide tips, but i sure its the same thing as above but needs to be the right person and lasts a while.</p>

<p>the reason i made this thread is because back in high school i was pretty much pathetic, i had a crush and spent way too much time thinking about her, i even went on yahoo answers and typed how to get a girlfriend, i was hoping to find threads like this one. if this even helps one person i think its worth it.</p>

<p>one last advice, dont focus on girls too much that it gets in the way of work because you might regret that (considering youll probably never get that girl the first time around)...also dont think about it too much, if your going to do something just relax and do it, i cant stress how much easier it gets later, just like being nervous on the first day of work, now your prob a wizard at your job.</p>

<p>if you think this thread is pointless and stupid just say so, just so i can know</p>

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<p>Excuse the 2nd grade grammar but I was just typing away.</p>

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<p>So have you actually had any experience with a woman? You say that you've never had a girlfriend, but you can have a lot of experience without ever having one. I'm going to guess that this isn't the case with you, though.</p>

<p>In highschool I was terrible with women because of how shy I was and also because I wasn't in a popular clique. Even though I had some hot popular chicks interested in me from time to time, I pretty much **** my pants whenever they'd start to flirt with me. I hadn't even kissed a chick until 6 weeks into University; a chick that approached me and we ended up becoming friends and then eventually going on a date. I wasn't intimidated by her because she wasn't great looking. I ended up calling things off with her because of how insecure she was and asking me why I was with her. A few months later I finally got laid by some chick (who was actually hot this time) that just came up to me and asked me out for coffee after class. So pretty much all of my success in 1st year was due to my looks as I was still pretty timid. It wasn't until the end of first year or so that I finally started to loosen up as I had gained the experience with women necessary to be comfortable being myself around them. Going into 4th year Uni... I'm still not a player or a pick up artist or anything, but I'm at least not intimidated by any woman unless she's a 9.5+/10, which I only see once every month or so.</p>

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<p>Would a girl looking for tips to "get" a "guy" be whatever-the-opposite-of-misogynistic-is? I would say no, so same goes for this thread. Dumb, maybe, but misogynistic, no.</p>

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<p>^ I believe misandrist is the word you're looking for.</p>

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<p>This makes me think of my son who would like a girlfriend--a nice young woman. He has had a couple already, but they were a bit dominant. (that's an understatement, apparently.)</p>

<p>He's still shy, but learning to be more selective. It's a process, won't happen overnight or even in a year.</p>

<p>One former girlfriend he had broken up with the previous year showed up at his door, said her friend had dropped her off and left her, she had no place to go, so he let her sleep in his bed while he slept on the floor. She left the next day. I guess that wasn't what she was hoping for. He said, "I know, mom, I know" when I gasped when I heard the story.</p>

<p>He apparently is considered quite handsome, he mentioned young women will look at him, turn around and talk to each other and then look back. He laughs, but isn't all that confident yet despite his looks.</p>

<p>In high school a friend he had tried to get him to go over and talk to girls, and then the friend would come over, hoping to attract one of the girls.</p>

<p>He's a pretty average joe in most ways. He's learning to be more dominant, but it's not exactly in his nature. He has a younger brother who clearly is more dominant, and so I can see the difference. </p>

<p>And I warn them both not to have sex before marriage. This has already happened to 3 family members, having to get married due to an unplanned pregnancy. All 3 ended in divorce either within the first year or after about 8 years, and both guys wound up quite bitter about that. Some young women (maybe not the ones on this website!) will deliberately get pregnant to get a guy to marry them. Even if they don't marry, the guy now has a child he's most likely not raising and hasn't much say in how the child is growing up. I'd say guys should be very careful--celibate is smartest.</p>

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<p>^
condoms :rolleyes:</p>

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<p>
[quote]
having to get married due to an unplanned pregnancy. All 3 ended in divorce either within the first year or after about 8 years, and both guys wound up quite bitter about that.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>so looks like forcing a marriage based on pregnancy is the best option...because we all know that's the only one...</p>

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<p>"condoms "</p>

<p>XD
That reminds me of that episode of Friends, where Joey and Ross found out that condoms were only 92% effective.</p>

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<p>Condoms break from time to time. </p>

<p>You guys do what you want. </p>

<p>I'm giving my sons advice which they will hopefully take and spare themselves a lot of potential anxiety.</p>

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<p>yes of course, because like the other member said, forcing them into marriages based on unplanned pregnancies is the path to a successful relationship, as everybody knows. don't blame it all on the girl trying to get pregnant, the guy has a choice to have sex with her and to wear protection and if some girl is going to do that then don't marry her.</p>

<p>make sure the girl is using birth control AND the guy is wearing a condom and as a last result use the morning after pill</p>

<p>but this probably doesn't matter since you're one of those religious types</p>

<p>Also, Fortune 500, keep telling your stories, even if its not your typical advice, I'm sure it will be at least somewhat helpful to someone.</p>

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<p>Well, guess I have been shunted to my side of the room, where the 'religious types' go, right?</p>

<p>How can you tell if the girl is taking birth control pills? Just because she says so?</p>

<p>I'm prudent. I don't believe in taking chances when the stakes are so high--STDs, pregnancy, etc.</p>

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<p>i don't know what religion supports a loveless marriage...</p>

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<p>
[quote]

one last advice, dont focus on girls too much that it gets in the way of work because you might regret that (considering youll probably never get that girl the first time around)...also dont think about it too much, if your going to do something just relax and do it, i cant stress how much easier it gets later, just like being nervous on the first day of work, now your prob a wizard at your job.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I agree with all your advice.
I say this as someone who could never get the girls that I was extremely attracted to BUT got really friendly with chicks I just considered to be friends.
Grades are most important in college, for sure.</p>

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<p>diesel, holy ****, one of the best comments i've ever read.</p>

<p>Pensive, the logic behind the idea that the "chances" behind safe sex are ok is that let's face it, very, very, very few people can pull off 100% celibacy. Given what I know about human nature, I feel that it is very likely that the person trying to stay celibate will have at least one episode of unprotected sex (even just oral, which we all know still carries a risk). Because for a lot of people with a rule like cellibacy, the thinking becomes that if you're going to violate the rule a little, you might as well get the most bang for your buck. That one unprotected time puts them at a much, much higher risk than someone having safe sex on a regular basis.</p>

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<p>Not that I've had much experience "getting girls in college" or anything like that, but asking for advice on an online forum...</p>

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<p>TO: I wanna be brown and diesel:</p>

<p>I don't know what religion supports a loveless marriage.</p>

<p>If you must know, religion had NOTHING to do with it. The male in the family didn't want to lose his kid (he tried to bargain just to get the child without marriage, as a matter of fact, but nothin' doin'). The female in the family got married mostly for social reasons. The cousin's son --well, I told my cousin I didn't think he should make his boy marry the girl. My cousin felt differently. (He didn't want to lose the kid either). No one wanted abortion, none of the pregnant women in these cases, fortunately.</p>

<p>Nice try, folks. One more time, religion has NOTHING to do with this. It is prudent to avoid sex until marriage--you have to agree that if more people had this attitude, STDs would drop way down. Then that one-time slip-up you mention wouldn't be such a scary proposition because STDs wouldn't be so prevalent that one slip-up and you could face quite possible infection.<br>
(please don't start quoting comdon stats, I'm not interested)</p>

<p>So, no matter how 'funny' the quote re. religion forcing marriage, sorry, wrong century. Didn't apply at all to these 3 cases in point.</p>

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<p>had a lot to do with</p>

<p>
[quote]
Well, guess I have been shunted to my side of the room, where the 'religious types' go, right?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>as it's obvious you're anti-abortion, and using the term "having to get married," not sure what i was to think. i think you're the one in the wrong century if people are getting married for "social reasons" and an abstinence only form of birth control</p>

<p>but i'm glad you found my post funny though... coat hangers and stairs FTW</p>

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<p>is it even possible to get married these days without sex (im sure it is but its got to be very rare)</p>

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<p>pensive123, </p>

<p>As diesel pointed out, it appeared as though you labeled yourself as a "religious type" if you didn't, I apologize.</p>

<p>I don't use condom statistics to support my argument, I use the pregnancy/STD rates in communities that only teach abstinence only education. The fact of the matter is that kids love to do what they aren't supposed to, and so telling them "don't have sex, don't have sex" isn't helping the situation. Furthermore, highlighting the fact that the easiest, and 2nd most successful form of contraceptive (that's right, I'm willing to admit that abstinence has 100% efficacy, but that doesn't mean it's the best solution) can fail only furthur dissuades kids from using condoms when they do decide to have sex.</p>

<p>Society is evolving whether we like it or not. We can approach this situation in one of 2 ways, we can adopt your way, which apparently is to talk about how much better it would be if we weren't changing, or we can be proactive, and try to find ways to deal with the new problems that we face. I would prefer that we choose the latter.</p>

<p>Ok, I'm going to crack and use one condom stat. Regardless of what the incidence of an STD is, the fact still remains that if a condom is 98% effective, that means your risk of contracting an STD is 500 times lower than uprotected sex. Why wouldn't we want kids to know this?</p>