Advice for overseas move - Pls

<p>Avid CC lurker who is grateful to many of you for getting me through last year’s application pool. I have searched and cannot seem to find guidance on my predicament. My husband has accepted an overseas assignment that will have us living in Europe for a minimum of four years. DS1 will remain at his current boarding school and DS2 will be joining us on our new adventure. He is very much looking forward to it. I have begun researching international schools and feel like I am in a lurch (DS2 – is currently a sixth grader at an independent day school). Our hope is that he will attend seventh and eighth grade abroad and then return to attend a boarding school in the states. DS2 is a happy, socially well-adjusted kid who just doesn’t have the same intellectual curiosity, love of learning (school stuff) and grades as DS1. He is an A-/B+ student and he is just fine that. Having been through the process last cycle with DS1: a 98% SSAT, straight A student, well read, well spoken, avid participator in sports and theater (with no hooks and no raw talent), a well-rounded and well liked kid his placement results were very acceptable but not what we anticipated (lots of wait lists – he actually came off of one in April), I worry about the viability of a boarding school acceptance for DS2. To make matters worse, in the event that the assignment is not extended DS2 will be coming back to the US as a junior in high school (I don’t see this as a good thing) and if it is extended he would complete high school abroad and be applying to US colleges. My husband thinks I am “over thinking” this one but I really do like to have a Plan A and a Plan B and at this point neither look to promising. I worry that I am academically messing DS2 up. Any advice, experience, thoughts greatly appreciated.</p>

<p>First of all, congratulations on an exciting new adventure! I think your plan to take DS2 with you for to years and then return to the US for boarding school is a great one. Don’t worry so much about how that will pan out for him. First of all, there are a lot of great boarding schools that take kids with lower test scores and less academic drive than the schools discussed on this forum most frequently. Those schools still have a lot to offer to their students. And you’re a couple of years away from this anyway – maybe DS2 will surprise you and pick up his interest in academics as he gets older. I’d say the best thing to do is to gently encourage DS2 to develop some interests that may help him stand out for reasons other than academic when applying to boarding schools: immerse himself in the culture of the new country you’ll be living in, take up a local sport, learn a new language, etc.</p>

<p>I think it might help to reach out to D’Yer Maker, a long-time poster to this board. He has not commented for about a year; I don’t know if a private message would reach him.</p>

<p>Nevertheless, if I recall correctly, he did move with at least one child internationally; the child had started at a boarding school, but completed his studies abroad. I believe it ended well with acceptance to a very good US college. </p>

<p>I believe you need more posts before you can send a private message.</p>

<p>As to your concerns, I think going abroad would have to be a broadening experience for anyone (no pun intended!) I also think that it makes no sense to anticipate future acceptance trouble. You will be in an entirely different position the next time you apply. </p>

<p>When you last applied, you had no previous connection to boarding schools, correct? (just assuming.) So for the schools, your commitment to sending your child was a best guess, not a certainty. </p>

<p>The next time you apply–if you do–you will be an experienced boarding school parent. You are not likely to back out at the last minute with cold feet. You will have a traditional, and fairly common, reason to send your child to a boarding school. Your child will not be one more kid from a US city or suburb, but a child who’s had international exposure (and thus knows more about the world), yet holds a US passport, and thus is able to receive financial aid (if the employer doesn’t cover it), but at any rate won’t need a visa to go to school in the states. The second child will be able to chat about his brother’s positive experiences, and to admit that he’s ready for the challenges.</p>

<p>And I’d hope you’ll take the opportunity to build a broader list of schools, perhaps with input from your child’s current school. I think you should start (in two years) at the first child’s current school, because some schools give siblings an advantage in admissions. You’re not starting in the same position.</p>

<p>Don’t worry, be happy. I know there are some parents with actual experience in such things on this board–use your posts to elicit feedback from people who’ve gone out adventuring with their family.</p>

<p>Congratulations on your impending family adventure! </p>

<p>We have 2 boys who attended various international schools, starting from the early elementary years, then finally repatriated to attend BS in the US. They have similar profiles as your boys: S1 an extremely strong student. S2 much happier but not as studious. With the admissions process for S1, we had no idea what we were doing. We knew nothing about BS-- hadn’t heard the names of any of them. With S2 we crafted a strategic list of BS which were a good match for his non-academic interests. As a result, S2 actually had more schools to choose from in the end than S1. The boys are in separate but very academically strong, selective schools.</p>

<p>I think your husband is right; you are over-thinking too many “what ifs” now. We also had anticipated a 4 year posting, but multiple countries later and 3 filled up passports later, it’s stretched into more than a decade overseas. If your S2 graduates from int’l school, I think he will be in a better competitive position for US college admissions than if he graduates from BS in the US-- he will stand out from the crowd. </p>

<p>On the topic of changing schools at the start of junior year, it is a bit more challenging for a student, but PLENTY of kids do it and do it just fine,</p>

<p>Stop worrying and start enjoying the ride.</p>

<p>Soxmom, Periwinkle and GMTPlus7 thank you so much for your feedback and calming my nerves. In my heart of hearts I know that the move is the right thing for my family. Timing is everything, DS1 is a bit more traditional and grounded in his various social circles. He would have given us a very hard time if we were taking him out of school and moving him overseas. Fortunately he has settled into his first term at boarding school very nicely… a little too nicely if you want my opinion. Returning our phone calls, or entertaining the prospect of coming home for a weekend seems like a real burden for him. He has already asked me not to wake him up for the first few days of Thanksgiving break (which I am looking forward to) Needless to say, it is this very reason we are comfortable leaving him behind and having him join us during his long boarding school breaks. DS2 on the other hand is very much a free spirt, he has fully embraced the idea and wants to know why we’re not leaving sooner.</p>

<p>Periwinkle – you are correct, we had no prior connection to boarding school. We were shooting from the hip and relied on the guidance from the secondary school placement office (K-8 school with approx. 70% of graduating class attending boarding school). The only thing I would have done differently is cast a wider net. DS1 is attending a non-HADES, highly selective school, mentioned here periodically. Based on what I’ve seen so far the school should really receive more attention than it does. My son loves it, is extremely challenged by his advanced and honors classes and likes all the students (both lower and upper classmen) and that is what matters to me.</p>

<p>GMTplus7 – I thought you might have been an expat. I vaguely remember a few posts where you referred to yourself as a nomad. Could you share with me your experience with International schools? I imagine some are better than others. I am looking at the international school, American school and British school – any experience? Any chance your multiple assignments had you living in the Netherlands?</p>

<p>Ooh-ooh-ooooh, Mr. Kotter!</p>

<p>If GMTplus7 is unable to help out, I know a thing or two about international schools in Europe.</p>

<p>Skieurope – I am a complete newbie at this any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. </p>

<p>Ideally, u should have the int’l school admission sorted out BEFORE your family’s arrival to posting, because the location of the school will drive your choices for housing location. I’ve had colleagues who’ve shown up for a posting w/o securing school admission in advance-- what a disaster…</p>

<p>Call the schools (plural) NOW and ask about availability. They typically have waiting lists. Get S2’s name on the waiting lists on more than one school ASAP. Int’l schools will give admission priority to children of its nationality of curriculum. You are also fortunate to need a spot for only one child, not multiple kids.</p>

<p>My kids have attended British & American schools. Both systems are fine. Aussie schools have a lower academic standard.</p>

<p>If your husband’s company has a large expat pool, it might have an association of expat trailing spouses at the posting ( den Haag? A’dam?) who will welcome u and give you practical advice. They can give u insider advice about int’l schools there. </p>

<p>I second that advice about location - figure out the school first, before choosing where to live. Many int’l schools aren’t in the center of town, so there are transportation considerations. Also those expat groups are VERY helpful when it comes to advice about literally everything. And in my experience are extremely willing to help, so don’t be shy! Despite the (many) challenges of living abroad, my whole family loved it and would go back in a heartbeat.</p>

<p>For the overseas part, I can ease your mind a bit - in most major cities there are international schools, and they are often US accredited. What country are you headed to? Have you looked into what international schools are available nearby?</p>

<p>I lived overseas for middle and high school (in Asia), attended a military DoD school (US accredited, all classes taught in English), and had no problems with getting into a good university - solid SAT scores and a grade acceleration but not a single AP or Honors class (because the schools did not have any). I was accepted at 2 upper level state universities and 1 private university on the West Coast.</p>

<p>To be honest, this is the kind of stuff that becomes the “hook” - the experience of living overseas, the differences in culture, the desire to have a more “American” experience.</p>

<p>Hope others can give you some perspective on the applying to boarding school or transitioning back to a US based high school as a Junior. Good Luck!</p>