<p>First thank you all for the advice. In my initial post I forgot to mention that my son did try to make an appt. with the GC, but the earliest opening was five days away. I guess I panicked a bit as the deadline seems fast approaching and jumped the gun before my son could approach the teacher in question. So I sent the e-mail to both. In hindsight my son could’ve approached the teacher who is a great guy and my son has a good relationship with.</p>
<p>Anyway, I eventually received cordial calls/e-mails back and the problem is not one of indifference at all. Both have had their recs ready, but the school is using docufide for the first time this year and the school’s computer system developed a glitch last week preventing the school information from being uploaded. That explains why my other son’s app went through quickly. His stuff was done before the glitch. They will snail mail it as necessary if the problem isn’t fixed.</p>
<p>I have found that the teacher/GC/school registrar usually will have the required documents out in time for the deadlines. It is annoying though, for example, my son has requested transcripts on 9/19, for a deadline 0f 12/01. Still has not gone out. When I asked why, it is because they are dealing with the apps with earlier deadlines, last minute requests. So, we go down to the bottom of the pile.</p>
<p>Well, it’s out of my hands now, so I hope the colleges surely know that the required documents that are coming from the HS, if they are late, t is through no fault of the applicant!</p>
<p>Wish there was some way to be in control of this situation.</p>
<p>Yes, because heaven forbid anyone at a school district actually work overtime or stay late or come in over the weekend to process this stuff and get it done so that students like your son don’t get pushed to the bottom! I don’t get that mentality, at all, of having backlogs of paperwork and not just staying late to clear them out once and for all. (If it’s not clear, I’m sympathetic to your son’s cause!)</p>
<p>Glad it’s working out for you, OP. My kid attends a private school, which costs us a bundle, and today, 5 days before his EA applications are due, his teacher letters are still not submitted (requested in early Sept.). Kid has visited both teachers a couple times to check on status, has contacted via Naviance system. One of kid’s prospective colleges needs TWO essays; drafts given to Eng. teacher a MONTH ago and still, no feedback. Waiting. Waiting. GC has made it clear that kids are to do all this themselves, learn to break away from parents blah blah…at one point does the person who pays the huge tuition bill say enough is enough and go to the principal or CEO? The kids are swamped right now, trying to do college aps on top of very demanding senior schedule with piles of homework, sport, school play, volunteer work. They don’t need this added pressure.</p>
<p>Our public HS college counselor works all hours of the day and night. She’s e-mailed me after midnight on totally non-college-related things. She’s awesome. As long as the deadlines are met, I don’t think people can get too bent out of shape just because items aren’t produced on our Type-A timeline. ;)</p>
<p>ETA: My comments were in response to PG, not SJR.</p>
<p>“Type-A timeline” - I love this:) The other side of story is kids with ED asking for help at the last minute. What are GCs supposed to do? Joey with Dec 31 deadline was here before you?</p>
<p>“The kids are swamped right now … They don’t need this added pressure.”</p>
<p>Of course not. But too many sheltered kids are coming through DW’s university science classes with NO ability to deal with “The world wasn’t perfect for me today.”</p>
<p>As a type-A person who burned the midnight oil (which is now ten PM oil) many, many times, I’d beg to disagree that all, or even most type A folks are “do it ahead of time.”</p>
<p>D, who’s definitely not type A is a get-it-done-ahead – sometimes weeks before something is due. I can assert that never once did I manage that in college. Maybe she’d be a dandy guidance counselor.</p>
<p>Schools and colleges could do a much better job reassuring nervous parents – whose numbers are legion – that the deadlines are for the items the student controls – application, supplemental application, ED agreement, and ordering test scores. Absent that, why wouldn’t a parent think that the deadline was, in fact, the deadline for everything?</p>
<p>My kids watch how I “operate” when they are home. They know when I am not around, it would be up to them to follow up. D2 commented on how so many of her friends are behind in their application process. In speaking with GC, she is more suprised when parents are not involved.</p>
<p>I let D2 know what I am doing, so she is also learning what could go wrong and what are her rights as a student and what are GC/teachers responsibilities. When D1 first went off to college it did take her a month or two to adjust being totally responsible for herself, but she quickly got used to it. But what she retained was “never take no for an answer,” and “speak up if you want to get something done.”</p>
<p>To post #30 - Probably because we are getting more anxious? Aware of competitions we are interested in early read not just making the dealines. GCs have less room to spread out.</p>
<p>Yes, Marx brothers fan. For those not familiar, Huxley U. is the name of the school in “Horse Feathers.” Groucho plays Prof. Quincy Adams Wagstaff. Sample dialogue:</p>
<p>Professor Wagstaff: Tomorrow we start tearing down the college. </p>
<p>The Professors: But, Professor, where will the students sleep? </p>
<p>Professor Wagstaff: Where they always sleep: in the classroom.</p>
<p>Absolutely they have to make that happen too – which is why you work ahead on Joey with the Dec 31 deadline and get Joey over and done with so you clear your calendar for the crises!</p>
<p>FWIW, I did not engage with the GC at all on moving paperwork from point A to point B (and let’s not kid ourselves, it was just paperwork, no value added) and I think my kids got a lot from taking on that responsibility and understanding it was up to them to gently remind and / or pester if need be.</p>
<p>I am not advocating lying, but theoretically speaking, if someone had said to the GC, “You know, the deadline for the early decision is November 1, but I’m applying to a special program there and they really want to have everything in by October 20,” our GC wouldn’t have known the difference (esp with D’s school). Just sayin’ here.</p>
<p>I continue to try hard to use every “teachable moment” to get my kids to take on adult responsibilities. But I’m VERY aware of consequences of them possibly bumbling and stumbling along this educational road. IMO, the consequences of the college app process are pretty grave, no room for do-overs, deadlines are about as firm as can be with either-you’ve-applied-or-go-home ramifications. Case in point: D just received a generous birthday check from grandparents. It’s up to her to deposit it in her account. If she doesn’t, she loses out on some nice cash. If she does it next month, OK. But you get just one chance to get these apps right and the cost of getting it wrong is just too high to take chances. My calls to the GC have been limited but my grilling of my S and my asking questions of the GC through him have been many…</p>
<p>There is an alternative to the quote Pizzagirl posted, post 35. “What are they supposed to do?” If the GC is in the position of putting everyone else on hold because poor little Johnny waited until the last minute to submit for an ED, the counselor does have the ability to say-- I’m sorry but you haven’t given me enough time to do your request justice, and justice to all those ahead of you. And then, in the “supposed to do” category, then next school yr counselors need to be sure to get the word to students that such requests must be made well in advance of the deadline. I suspect students already are told, but as a GC I’d make certain they were.
It’s not an easy answer, but I’m not fully comfortable with automatically putting the procrastinators with looming deadlines ahead of all those that have had the foresight to take positive actions sooner.</p>
<p>Breath everyone…the colleges have thousands of documents and theyndont fret one bit ifns recommendation or school form is a wee bit late. They understand the schools and gas are overwhelmed and parents calling and bugging and making appointmentsnto nag the gcs does not help. In have a friend who is a gc and when a parent calls all the time it’s wastes everyone time.</p>
<p>Again colleges will notnhold it against any applicant if a recommendation is late. By the time they even start looking the recs have usually made it into the file.</p>
<p>This is interesting. This is how kids learn.</p>
<p>They recently did a study as to why kids from higher socio-economic levels do better in college and afterwards, and a large part of what they found is that the children of upper middle class parents had a sense of their right to be in any office, or how to ask for what they want and need and how to get a response. Their effectiveness, even in getting health care needs met, is much higher just becuase they know how to ask questions and how to ask again. </p>
<p>They are also percieved to be much less pushy during this, even if they are pushing harder, than are those who had not had the examples of their parents. One of the strongest indicators that a child from a lower socio-economic level would succeed in higher education and beyond was the ability to do the same thing and having been taught how by their parents, as well, so that those with strong mothers and fathers, regardless of income, did very well also.</p>
<p>Just an aside.</p>
<p>when I hear people say, “It is the kids job,” I laugh to think of all the parents in our upper class area who would not dream of letting something like this “slide” becuase it is the kids job? What? No wayyyyy.</p>