Hello CC parents,
I need your advice.
- Last year, due to having high stats, unusual Ec’s, and coming from a rural high school where this is rare, I got into a purdue university with a full tuition scholarship. I also for into LACs where I really wanted to go but since my parents hadn’t heard of them they forced me to go to Purdue university that would cost them very little.
- it turned out my parents had misunderstood or lied on their financial aid forms so some of my aid was taken away. I end up scrounging for food. The university is a poor fit, in part because I’m an Aspie and in order to thrive I need a specific environment.
- I got blindsided by the first semester math class’s curve and weedout policy. I used to love math and be really good at it but now I feel awful just thinking about it. I don’t want to ever be in such a class because I understand it’s unhealrhy for me. I never was one of those well-adjusted Aspies you see on TV and the environment actually made me regress. However math is necessary for my chosen major. (I’ve successfully avoided it this semester by taking zero class major-related but I can’t go on forever like this.)
- What are my choices?
- I’ve applied to my state flagship but they told me transfers typically get their aid in July and my parents won’t support my transferring. So if I have sufficient aid, should I transfer? And if I don’t what am I left with?
- I can stay, keep going and veering into a major I am interested in and has no math but isn’t what I want to do, and hope I don’t regress to the point of not being able to be out in public.
- Try to avoid the toxic environment by going abroad or a domestic student exchange organized by my current university, provided it’s not more expensive than my current college, but I worry about going far and how I’d be seen or how I’d manage on my own. Breaking down while abroad would be even worse than breaking down at my university. However if I left the toxic competitive environment at my university may alleviate my symptoms.
- Take a leave of absence = to do what? Where would I go?
Thanks for any advice you may have for me.
I don’t have any advice at the moment (I’ll think about your questions) but I will say that you are brave for laying everything out here and asking these questions.
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1988414-being-financially-independent.html#latest
How is your thread now different than the other one? You also,say you have ALREADY withdrawn from Purdue…so please clarify.
Post 45:
Younalso,say you have social anxiety issues…and many respondents suggested dealing with THAT before you make any college decisions.
Please clarify the following.
- You say you have a full tuition scholarship at Purdue. Is that true? Did you withdraw from Purdue?
- You also say you can finish a bachelors in ONE more year if you stay at Purdue. Is that true?
- You mention the CC...but you say your parents won't support you transferring. Does that include the CC? If so...will they complete the fafsa? Will they let you live with them?
- Have younaddressed the social anxiety piece?
My free advice…and it’s the same as in the other thread.
- Very often, your jobs are not related to the major on your bachelors diploma. So...switch to bettet major and stay put.
OR
- Transfer.
If you would like good advice…could you please give us the COMPLETE story??
This will probably come across as harsh. There’s no university that’s going to solve your Aspie issues. Colleges aren’t like public K-12 schools bound by IDEA to come up with an IEP. Going to a LAC isn’t a magic cure for Asperger’s syndrome. If you need treatment for that, you need to look outside the university, whether you stay at Purdue or transfer somewhere else. The real world, if you get a job, can be even less tolerant of Aspie behavior than college.
Are you still enrolled at Purdue? If so, get yourself over the counseling center ASAP. You need an objective third party to help you sort out your issues and your options.
Fact- your social issues/anxiety are not going to go away by transferring. You will be the same person. It is tempting to ascribe your issues to a “toxic” environment-- but you will be the same person transplanted somewhere else.
Fact- going abroad even if it’s free or cheap is a terrible solution if your mental status is fragile right now.
Fact- Everyone- that means everyone- hits a wall academically in college. That’s a good thing, not a bad thing. That’s why you need counseling right now. You need some insight into your academic issues with math-- did you not do well because you weren’t well prepared? That’s nothing to be ashamed of- get help/tutoring. Did you not do well because you were working at your HS pace- a few hours of homework a week- and the class moved at a college level, i.e. a few hours a night? Great- you’ve learned something even more valuable than math- you need to step it up at college.
Fact- Scrounging for food and feeling the pinch financially is a recipe for disaster for anyone, not just you, and not just an Aspie. Did you talk to a Dean or counselor or someone in financial aid about your predicament?
I’m not trying to be mean. I want to help you. But transferring without clearing up any (or all) of the above issues means taking your bags packed with your misery and moving them somewhere else.
Let’s unpack your bags-- get some help for your issues- before you start to move around. I’ve seen kids in your shoes- transferring once feels like a panacea until it’s not. So it’s transferring again. Before you know it, you’ve spent four years floundering, don’t have a degree (and aren’t close to finishing one) have a pile of debt, and your parents are both angry and baffled why someone so smart isn’t getting traction.
Get to counseling. Purdue has seen these issues before.
@thumper1 I will answer your questions
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Yes, full tuition scholarship (technically I still have to pay like $20 in tuition but close enough).
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No, I cannot complete a BA in History at Purdue in one year. What I meant is that I would complete the requirements for History classes at Purdue in one more year. All I need is 12 History credits, after this year. After one year, I would need at least another year composed entirely of 100 level classes to get the minimum needed to graduate.
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I think they will support me if I go to CC.
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No. There’s no cure for aspergers and the social anxiety linked to it.
As for withdrawing, I have a week or so before it becomes final.
There is no cure for Aspergers but there are tens of thousands of Aspie’s with a college degree and that can be you, too. What math pre-req do you need for a history major?
@blossom I’m not currently a History major. Just taking it because I don’t know where else to go. I am technically a Math major. I already retook Calc I at Purdue (had AP credits for it) and didn’t do very well. I did all my homework and all the practice tests. The time I spent on work is not an issue,although it was much more than I felt comfortable doing for such a subpar performance on material I already knew. I don’t think it was a question of not knowing the material or being lazy.
This makes NO sense…at all.
The full cost of attendance for instate is about $22000 a year…tuition room and board.
The full cost for OOS is $39,000…tuition, room and board.
If you have a FULL tuition scholarship, you would be paying $11,000 a year for room and board to Purdue. How would you be paying $20,000 a year? That’s DOUBLE the cost of room and board.
And could you please define “subpar”? A B, a D, did younfail? What is subpar to you?
And maybe math should NOT be your college major…which is why (on your OTHER almost identical thread) folks suggested you discuss your career options with a school advisor.
And I know there is no cure for aspergers. But there ARE ways to learn to manage anxiety.
Do you have accommodations with the disability office at Purdue.
Did you withdraw already from Purdue for the upcoming year?
@thumper1 I have a $10,000 scholarship to Purdue. Purdue tuition is a little over $10,000 by a few dollars. I have to pay those few dollars in terms of tution.
I will amend my suggestion- get yourself over to the counseling center ASAP. Then get yourself over to your academic advisor’s office right after that.
There are millions of happy people in the world who have never taken a college math course and have had productive lives. Take advantage of all the wise and experienced grown ups in your life (you are paying for these deans and advisors) and have them help you come up with an academic program that meets your needs and your interests.
If you need a math course for distribution requirements there are going to be a bunch of statistics classes, etc. designed for non-math majors. or- get your advisor to help you figure out why you didn’t do well in Calc.
But don’t transfer because you think the next college will be better. Because it won’t. Fix this now. There are experienced professionals right on campus waiting to help you…
Ok…let me say it again then…in a different way.
If YOUR tuition for Purdue is in the $10,000 range…you are an instate student.
The FULL cost of attendance is under $22,000 for instate students…and that includes tuition, room and board. Subtract your $10,000 scholarship, and you are left with $12,000.
How are YOU paying $20,000…at all?
@blossom I already talked to my math advisor. She recommended I transfer because Math tends to have low grades at Purdue and I wanted to go to graduate school, which typically won’t happen unless you’re near the top of Math’s vicious curve.
My grade for Calc I was a B.
And once more…could you please clarify…on your other thread…you say you have withdrawn from Purdue.
Have you?
@thumper1 I sent in the paper work for it, but I have until finals are over to annul it.
I pay the housing and food by loans, work, and some parental contributions.
Ok…I’m totally with Blossom. Get yourself over to the counseling center. And talk also to your academic advisor.
I know that seeing this from other folks’ perspectives isn’t likely easy for you…but @Blossom is right…reach out to the folks who can help you.
And please…could you clarify what you are paying to Purdue…and for what? Your “I’m paying $20,000 for tuition” makes no sense at all.
I’m paying $20 in tuition. Not $20000.
I’ve already talked to academic advisor. She recommends transferring.
I know a lot of people with some amount of Asperger’s (it is part of the industry that I am in), but of course the degree of how much Asperger’s a person has and how it affects them (or us) can vary greatly. I do think that in some cases people with Asperger’s can be very smart and get into very academically stressful universities which are not necessarily the best fit for them.
I am not sure that I fully understand the motivation for going abroad, other than to be somewhere other than Purdue for a semester or a year. One possibly crazy idea that occurs to me is that you could probably take a “semester abroad”, and if you really like where you go then try to transfer and stay there, and if not then return to Purdue. Of course in most cases “abroad” means a long way away, which is not ideal if anything goes wrong.
However, depending upon where you are in the US, “abroad” does not necessarily mean “far away” if you live in a northern state and pick something just across the US’s northern border. Also, my experience with my daughter’s recent experience in checking out small universities in eastern Canada is that there are some academically very good ones which do not seem to be so stressful as most US “big name” universities (such as Purdue). All of this makes me wonder: What state do you live in?
From what you have said, it does sound to me as if staying where you are is at best stressful and risky.
You are transferring because you got a B in calculus?
I recognize that you are unhappy. But think for a second- you pay $20 per year (or semester, doesn’t matter) and you are going to transfer because of a B?
Exactly what did your academic advisor say… transfer why? Does she know you are paying $20 for Purdue? And why do you think you cannot get in to grad school with a B?
Please write one concise post which includes all the relevant information. It is too hard piecing together your story when you dole out information in dribs and drabs. Include how much money your parents are contributing, how much you are paying yourself, your family’s EFC AND your eventual career goals. And the other courses you took first semester and how you did in them.
Transferring because of the curve is illogical, and as a prospective/former/maybe math major you can realize how illogical it is.
To be brutally honest- if you have high financial need, any college which will allow you to get in and get out in four years with a minimum of loans is going to be your best bet. It’s going to be on you to figure out how to make a friend or two (the counseling center can help), join a club which interests you (volunteer work? anime? stock market simulation club? ultimate frisbee? foreign films?) which will help combat your feelings of a toxic environment. If you haven’t joined anything, you are starting fresh! Just like you’d be if you were to transfer… but likely at a higher pricetag.