Advice needed on how to fit in. (International student)

Student Lounge College Life
1

Hey guys I’m Chinese born n raised in China, went to a Chinese public school. HS life is pretty different in China and so is the culture. I’d really appreciate it if you take a look at this and give me some advice that could help me adapt to college life faster!

  1. Popularity. Ofc there are popular kids at Chinese school but HS life is way too stressful (school from 7am to 10pm lol i know) so popularity isn’t that much a concern to most people. I’m known in my school because I’m on tennis team, debate team, and had decent academic performance, so I do consider myself a popular person in my HS (I get along with most people very well not in a stuck up kind of way). However, my question is if that’s the same definition for being popular in American university because it seems to be some people are pretty cocky about it ( I learned about this subject through movies so it might be stereotypes but idk.)

2)Greek life. Quite frankly I’ve NEVER been to a REAL party (although there’s no drinking age in China lol the irony), so I don’t really know if I’m gonna love it or hate it. I’m srsly pretty bad at dancing and I don’t know abt beer pong or any other games so I’m afraid I might be pretty awkward. So I need advice on how to enjoy a party for the first time.

3)Small talks/exaggerations. I’ve been on a short trip in the US and made some friends. One thing I noticed is that small talks are everywhere, but it’s the most boring thing to me even though I know people are just trynna be nice and start a conversation or smth. People I barely know says she loves me and they are all about that exaggeration, tbh it’s fake to me. Is it normal that ppl do that in an American culture?

4)Sports scene. There is no real athlete in my HS (we have a ■■■■■■ wrecked system for the athletes :frowning: ) I’m pretty athletic on a club level, I play badminton, ping-pong, tennis and I’m good on a club level. Back in HS everyone’s about academic and no one is encouraged to do sports, so I always felt like I’m one of the best. However, with all the varsity athletes in University I feel so small and afraid that ppl will laugh at me for my skills. Should I feel shy/ashamed by it?

5)Financial. I don’t know if it’s appropriate to place it here but I’m admitted to schools mostly filled with “Rich White kids”(so I’ve heard).From the Big question videos on youtube some students say they struggle with money problems but the other kids are too rich. I’m from a upper middle class in China but not that crazy rich, I also plan to earn my own living expense because I’m 18 now(but I’ve never tried that before like most of the Chinese teenagers). How rich are the kids really are?(like sex n the city??) and should I feel bad if I work a job?

2

Well, it’s unlikely you’ll be working that much if you are coming to the US on a student visa.

Some schools do have a lot of wealthy kids. Most schools have more economic diversity and you’ll find kids who live on $20/wk for food and entertainment. If that’s where you are comfortable, hang with them.

If you like sports, it will be a good ice breaker to meet other kids. Play tennis, go to a game or watch one on TV.

Be yourself.

3

First of all: turn off the TV and the youtube.

When you go to a university in the States, there are no rituals that have to be done to be “popular” and “fit in”. You go to class. You go to your labs. You go to your dorm activities. You may have to do team projects and you will meet people.

You go to the gym and sign up for intramurals if you want to play on team for fun. The organized teams already have their recruits. They typically don’t have walk-ons.

You will be living in a dorm and meeting people from your floor. You may eat with roommates, dorm mates, other international students from China or wherever. There are no rules.

College students do what they want, when they want to and with whomever they want to.

You might not get to a Frat party because some of them are “closed” now. Why? Some Frats have “misbehaved”, so they try to control who gets in.

Just get involved in clubs and activities; it’s not high school and you will not be judged.

4

Tysm! Youtube n TV n Instagram is my only channel so I may have false conception abt college life in the US! Then again these are indeed immature highschool kids concerns.

5

thank you!