I’ve been browsing this site and others, but I haven’t really been satisfied by what I’ve found on the general topic. Was hoping I could get some advice specific to my situation.
I’m going to ASU this fall, in fact in less than two weeks now. I’ve recently received my housing assignment, complete with roommates.
I’m a transgender man, and they’ve placed me with three female roommates, one of whom I’ll be sharing a bedroom with and all three I’ll be sharing a bathroom with. This is less than ideal. I’m still waiting for a response from the housing department on my request for a more appropriate housing accommodation. As it stands, though, it seems this is what I’m going to get. I’m honestly…not overly bothered by rooming with girls in and of itself. I’m more worried about 1) their potential discomfort 2) the possibility that it’ll make passing more difficult.
I was going to wait until one of them reached out first, but, like I said, move-in approaches quickly and so far I’ve heard nothing. I’m nervous. Everyone I ask says it’s important to make contact before then, but I don’t know where to start.
Just my luck, the only two pieces of information the housing portal gives you about your roommates by default is their school email and gender(obviously, the legal one…I’d have it changed if I could.) This means I probably can’t just wave the assignment off as a weird mistake and introduce myself as a man without further explanation. I pass as male about 50% of the time, but… If they’re operating under the assumption that I’m female, that’s not gonna be enough. People tend to trust their first impression. I’ve already been outed to these girls if they’ve so much as glanced at my housing profile. So, I’ve got to tell them I’m a man, and I’m most likely going to have to tell them I’m trans. I don’t know…when or how or…where to start, at all. I don’t want to make things awkward. I want to be prepared for if anyone is uncomfortable either because I’m a man or…more unpleasantly, because I’m trans. Most of all I want to live in peace with people who’ll respect me.
Sorry if this is all over the place, or if it got at all…vent-y. I’m tired and stressed. If anyone has any advice for someone in my situation, it’d be greatly appreciated.