Advice

I’m going to be a freshman next week in college. I’m very nervous and extremely close to my family. That day after my move in is my birthday. Originally my parents were not going to stay over, but my aunt told my mom that she should not leave me alone on my birthday. I’m conflicted. Idk what’s better to start college with new friends and new “life.” Ik I’ll miss family but idk if it’s a good idea for me to see them next day or not with my nerves/homesick worries? Thanks for help!

What an exciting time for you! I think there’s a compromise in here somewhere - your parents can stay over, but not dominate your time. Don’t skip out on any orientation events to see your parents - fit in a small birthday celebration with them. Make sure you have meals with your roommate/s and dorm mates because that is often a sure way to make new friends. But if you have some downtime to see your parents, have a little cake etc… do it. Good luck to you!

Different opinion here. Your answer is already in your answer. Kick your parents out and do something with new friends. Even if it’s getting a piece of cake and a candle and have them sing happy birthday to you. What a great conversation stater when starting a new school. Tell everyone it’s your birthday that you meet (in a nice way). Your parents can send you an Insomnia cookie cake and you can share it with your dorm/room mates. Heh, why the big cookie? It’s my birthday. Have some,! ??. Or they can get many cupcakes and you can put it out in a common area with a note. It’s my birthday. Have a cupcake and come over to room 245 and say hi!!

One of the hard things about growing up is that you can’t always celebrate your Bday on your actual Bday. Because other commitments get in the way. Understanding that fact is Adulting 101. So tell your family how much you’d love to celebrate right before heading off to college - or even in your new location a day or two prior to Move-In - because you honestly believe you’ll be so busy with and enjoying your new life and new experiences that you’ll actually forget it’s your birthday! Tell Auntie that the best birthday present ever was a few months early when you were accepted to college.

And if any of them express concerns you can stand tall and assure them that you are a big boy or girl and you can handle it.

As a practical matter, if the school advises parents to get out of the way and let their kids do orientation - it’s for a good reason. So if that happens to be the advice, it’s best to heed it, birthday or no.