Afraid of letting everyone down...

<p>i'm very scared of letting down my family/friends/teachers by not getting into my top colleges. for months i've been telling people that i want to go to certain schools--but how ridiculous will i look if i don't get in? i hate when people [mostly adults] ask me what college i want to go to, or if i've heard anything from the ones i applied to, etc etc.</p>

<p>personally, no one in my family besides my parents have ever gone to college, and my parents went to below average public schools. i feel like i have to get into some elite private school bc no one in my family ever has.</p>

<p>blah, i'm just sick of this bs. this isn't a good time in my life right now.</p>

<p>can anyone relate?</p>

<p>There's no use in fretting about it- there's nothing you can do at this point. Relax and enjoy your senior year. Getting off CC would be a good start. ;)</p>

<p>"can anyone relate?"</p>

<p>Everyone can relate. This is a tough time - a major rite of passage. However, its a long time until April 1st, so try to keep occupied with your school, and friends and family until then. You are undoubtedly putting more pressure on yourself than your whole family combined. I am sure your parents are very proud of you already.</p>

<p>To deal with well-meaning questions - you can honestly answer that have applied to some very competitve schools and __________ (your safety or safeties). If your safety is your state flagship uni, more people will likely have heard of it (especially if it have football). You will have answered politely to a rather personal question. </p>

<p>Best of luck to you, and I hope that a whole procession of thick envelopes come your way in the spring!</p>

<p>I can definately relate, I didn't do well when I applied to my EA school. I didn't tell most people where I applied RD, so I won't have to deal with 5000 people asking me if I got in or not.</p>

<p>Yeah, I can relate. The only person I've told I want to go to MIT is my mom, and that wasn't even until a week ago, even though I've wanted to go there since maybe 7th grade. I don't want people to think that I think I'm better than them by applying to MIT... and then if I didn't even get accepted it would be embarrassing.</p>

<p>Nonetheless, I'm not going to give up my chances at one of my dreams just because I might get embarrassed.</p>

<p>My dad didn't go to college and my mom went to a local private school that she probably only got into because her mom worked there.</p>

<p>I don't think there's any pressure for you or me to get into an elite school, though. Almost every college in the country is very good, and will give you a good education. Not getting into the best of the best schools doesn't matter.</p>

<p>The admissions process is arbitrary anyway--the colleges don't truly have an idea of who you are or your talents or anything. So if you don't get in, it's their fault, not yours.</p>

<p>I was in your position last year... most people I know expected me to get into an Ivy or some other top school, but I ended up at my state U. Long story short, people don't really care that much, and I love it here now. You won't be disappointing anyone in the long run, and as long as you do well where ever you end up, I don't think it really matters where you go.</p>

<p>That's part of the normal anxiety that comes with college applications, especially if you are the top student in your school and everyone(counselors, teachers, friends, parents) expect you to do well. Don't sweat about it, and focus on hobbies and friends...</p>

<p>I applied to a couple of Ivies and a few other very prestigious schools... But even if I were to end up at one of the colleges that wasn't a top choice, I know my family would be proud of me regardless. If your parents are supportive of you and all your endeavors, I'm sure they'll be excited for you wherever you end up. Your friends should be too... That's what friends are for, yeah?</p>

<p>CC gets overwhelming sometimes with all these kids who wanna go to Harvard and Yale... But not everyone will get into those schools, and you can still have an amazing four years of college without having gone to an elite school. So what if someone didn't work to their maximum potential in high school? HS grades are not necessarily indicative of intelligence, which I've seen from my experiences.
My friend's brother graduated from Villanova a year or two ago and is already making more money than his parents. I believe everything will work itself out.</p>

<p>Make a concerted effort to avoid talking about colleges between now and when you are ready to make a decision. Be evasive when questioned. Don't name colleges. Try really hard to just put it on the back shelf for now.</p>

<p>Yes I can relate, and it really sucks. Just don't kill yourself.</p>

<p>I ward it off by just thinking about my "safety" for now and not thinking too much about the acceptance letters coming in April (does anyone else think it's horrible that April 1st is the day most colleges send out stuff? >< I've always thought that some year they might do a whole "Congrats! You're in!.... NOT! APRIL FOOLS!").. and making sure it's the best one possible (getting scholarships from the school). If I get into some of my reach schools, great! (and it'll be cool to tell friends), but I've already told people that I'll probably be rejected from those schools so I'm not seriously thinking about them right now. </p>

<p>That's just how my approach to anything has been really. I always prepare myself for disappointing results so when the real thing comes.. I'll either 1) expect it or 2) be really happy if good things come :D</p>

<p>A good number of people on this site are prestige-obsessed, so, yes, a good number can relate.</p>

<p>I can relate too. Except, when people ask me where I want to go, I pretend to joke around and tell them "whichever school accepts me", which is kind of true.. I really think this takes the pressure off (at least a little).</p>

<p>Yeah, I know what you mean.
People EXPECT you to go to some really prestigious university...
And telling them where you truly want to go can be bad... if you get rejected.
Again, it is pretty embarassing to say that you got rejected because everyone thinks you are going to get in... which is why I have just stopped replying to people who like to ask where I want to go. Saving myself from embarassment.</p>

<p>this is such a hard time for us seniors who are still waiting to hear from schools....i dont know i just feel like im in a hole right now just waiting for time to pass by and it be time for college acceptances :/</p>

<p>I've taken to answering "Well, my first choice is Princeton, butofcourseIwon'tgetin, so it'll probably be a question of financial aid." I'm trying so hard not to set myself up for disappointment -- and publicly, I'm doing well, but privately I know I'm failing at it. So I guess I'm more afraid of letting myself down than anyone else.</p>

<p>One good thing is I got into the 2nd best university in my list... I got this letter first so i didn't have to be as worried about other schools.</p>

<p>However..
I didn't make it into what I thought was my match/safety. I didn't get into my 1st choice (which I thought I would definitely get in) or my brother's school. I didn't make it into schools my friend made it into and it was embarrassing as hell. I didn't make into 3/6 schools and 2 were safeties. I was rather frustrated ofcourse, but I got over it. After its done and through it seems like nothing.</p>

<p>I think most people can relate to your feelings right now. I can, and I am a mom!...why not take the approach that you have worked hard in HS, and that you have earned the "right" to ask these schools to review your applications in the possiblitiy that one or more will accept you. Nothing more to be done until acceptance notices/emails/web postings come in, and then you can decide which one YOU want to attend. Good Luck!</p>

<p>"i hate when people [mostly adults] ask me what college i want to go to, or if i've heard anything from the ones i applied to, etc etc."</p>

<p>I hear you on that one. For me, it seems to be other students who are constantly asking... one of my friends is very competitive, and I feel like she asks me every five seconds, but when I ask her about her college plans she turns elusive on me. Luckily, most of the schools I applied to are liberal arts places no one else has even heard of, so most of the questions end there!</p>

<p>Those who mind, don't matter. Those who matter, don't mind.</p>