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<p>I don’t CARE about sizable majority. I care only about absolutes, which those statistics show are false.</p>
<p>The only problem whatsoever with that statement (that I had, at least) was one word:</p>
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<p>Say what you mean.</p>
<p>It doesn’t make sense to say that all kids have done such things. It similarly doesn’t make sense to just assume that your extra special little champ hasn’t just because it’s a stupid thing to do.</p>
<p>So what if ALL kids in high school have used drugs, alcohol, broken traffic laws, committed vandalism, stolen, cheated…the list goes on. That does not make it right for parents to condone and abet those activities. Even if I know my kid has had beer, does not mean I should give him some. What he does when he is out on his own, which is the case with many high school kids during much of their day, is not under my control. But that doesn’t mean I set up kids who are underage for a certain activity so that they are sure to partake.</p>
<p>If something goes wrong, and they do, too often, not only is there the tragedy of the event, but those parents can be held liable for an awful lot. Not only are there legal penalties, they can also be in the local news in a way that could really hurt them.</p>
<p>In our area, several fool parents did put themselves in such situations, and got caught in a very public, humiliating and in some cases, tragic ways.</p>
<p>I can understand not wanting to condone drugs or alcohol…I really do…but I don’t understand making boys and girls sleep in seperate rooms. Are they five? Is this catholic camp? I’ve had coed sleepovers since like 2nd grade and have had guy friends sleep in my bed. It’s not a huge deal. I’ve never known kids to have sex with other kids present. That’s just kinda gross. I’ve had plenty of parties at my house, and while we didn’t drink or do drugs, we’ve always slept where we wanted to. I think it’s awful silly to segregate.</p>
<p>well im a junior right now, and we only have senior prom.</p>
<p>and this year the senior class rented a mansion for themselves and basically all the seniors are going and spending the night their. and there will be alcohol</p>
<p>it truly depends on the year about what they do.</p>
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<p>Unfortunately, its happens. Remember the stir this past fall when Tufts had to institute a policy banning people from sexual activity when their roommates are in the room? Maybe a group sleepover with all the kids in the same room is a different situation, but I would not be comfortable with kids in bedrooms throughout the house.</p>
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<p>I agree, if your guys’ kids (and their friends) are reasonably intelligent, they’ll realize how ridiculous it would be to go sausage spelunking in front of people they know.</p>
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<p>Go ahead and make fun of these parties if you must, but thousands of kids have a good time at these events and leave with great memories and often some very cool prizes. </p>
<p>I think some of you folks who are dismissive of community or parent-sponsored after-prom events are missing the main point. As a parent, I know that many kids (including my own) are going to be tempted by alcohol, drugs and sex on prom night. The purpose of these events are not to stamp those activities out completely, but to provide a fun and safe atmosphere for as many kids as possible and keep them from getting behind the wheel of a car while under the influence. The good news in our town is that no kids were involved in accidents on the night of the senior ball and no parents were forced to deal with tragedy on what should have been a very special evening. If we kept a few babies from being conceived that night and more than a few students from driving the porcelain bus the next morning, all the better.</p>
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Not even if it were in a fun place (with pool tables and/or casino games and/or bowling lanes) and many of the attendees were going home with giftcards, ipods, Xboxes? It takes a lot of man-hours and money (fund raisers and donations) to create an after prom that high school seniors want to go to, but it can be done. Some of the organized after proms in our area are pretty amazing.</p>
<p>I can certainly understand wanting to do anything and everything possible to keep kids safe after prom, and beyond. But aren’t these the same kids who have to make choices and determine their lifestyle on their own away from home in 2.5 months? Will they suddenly be smarter, more mature then than now? and how do they learn to make those choices and determine their limits if they are always being chaperoned and shielded?
Take the car key away; let them rent limos; go to an afterparty that is a one stop and stay till the morning; but go on the assumption that you have taught them well; that they are aware and smart enough to make a reasonable choice.
If not maybe you shouldnt be on here, you should be talking to your kid. (IMHO)</p>
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I think this is the point–and I think some kids who may not have done these things before (or who haven’t done a couple of them together) might be more tempted to do so on prom night, with peer pressure, glamor, and excitement. These after-prom events reduce the pressure. For the kids who already doing these things, it may not matter much.</p>
<p>expatme I agree with you. I’d rather DD experience some of the “parting” before she went away so we can see how she reacts in those situations.</p>
<p>I’ve heard so many stories where the parents had to go to their childs college because of alcohol poisoning and too much parting.</p>
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<p>I think it’s “kinda gross” for responsible parents to oversee having opposite-sex friends sleep in your bed. r6L, you’ve indicated before how your parents really haven’t been there for you as you’ve gone through your college search (and more power to you for doing as well as you have!) - but I think this is an example of parents abdicating even the appearance of responsibility.</p>
<p>What my kids do when they go to college, I will have little control for – but the idea of having my daughter’s guy friends sleep in her bed is more than a little tacky and classless. I can sort-of-see my way clear to well-chaperoned co-ed sleepovers, but please.</p>
<p>Our school does an after-prom boat cruise (from midnight to 3 am), but my D and her date and group of friends passed on that. However, the day after they all went to a friend’s lake house. There was parental supervision. They sat on the beach, ate, played games, and believe it or not, they were able to have fun without drinking.</p>
<p>Our high school parent organization has sponsored an after prom all night party for many years now…and almost ALL prom goers rush back from the prom to put on comfortable flannels and head to the high school which is transformed into a twinkling party hall as they dance the night away at the prom. The kids do Not feel chaperoned once back at the high school…actually very very few adults stay to keep things organized and food tables stocked…the entertainment company has their staff at each of the rented pieces of party equipment …over the years we have had black jack tables, fun houses, race tracks with various items installed with small engines for racing around the inflatable track, henna artists, photo booths, jousting, mechanical bull, and to slow it all down towards the early morning hours a hour long hypnotist - who is hilarious…
I have to say the seniors and their guests have a great time!</p>
<p>At S1’s high school, parents of all kids who wanted to attend prom had to attend a pre-prom education night given by a substance abuse expert from the local mental health center. We are in a small community, so there is peer-pressure from the other parents. I didn’t hear of any objections. Parents were educated about the legal ramifications if they provide alcohol for minors, besides their own children, or allow minors to have alcohol in their presence, or don’t take adequate precautions to prevent minors from having alcohol. And there have been cases where parents were prosecuted- for having “safe parties” where parents held onto the keys, etc.</p>
<p>After Prom activities should be aligned with what your child is used to do all year. For after prom party, My D school friends went to a teenager club (no alcohol allowed), the limo took them from prom to the teenager club. Almost the entire school went to this teen club. When the after-prom party was over, I and other parents, picked a group of 20 kids up and brought them to sleep over at my house. We picked them up around 2:30 AM, and they came over to sleep and they all stayed up late talking and having fun until 5:30 AM. I have a big family/play room and they all crashed there. My room is next to this room. They behaved really well, but I am not naive, and I know they had alcohol in the Limo prior to go to the teenager club! Did they abuse alcohol? No, they did not. When we picked them up, nobody was drunk or sick. If I think they had something to drink? Yes, I do. Am I going to make a big deal out of it? No. I pick my battles. These group of kids are all really focused, high achievers, going to attend the very best universities in these country, the very best top 20 universities. They worked really hard in high school and I saw them making good decisions all throughout high school. Are they perfect? No, they aren’t. They are teenagers! In regards to sex, within this group, we had 3 couples. They all date for over a year, including my daughter who is dating almost 2 years. If I think these couples are sexually active? Yes, I do. But I also know that they are very respectful and they would never, ever be disrespectful at my house! I trust they are classy and well raised. After showing them where the sodas were and food, i told them: “I am going to sleep, you guys have fun, should I tell you guys what I expect?” They said, "Mrs. GoodFit, we got it, don’t worry, thank you so much for picking us up, for the food, and a place to hang out and sleep, we know what you expect from us. " I woke up early to get breakfast for them, and they were all sleeping, I had to go over them to get out of my room. They were great! They behaved above my expectations!
Well, I really think some parents are naive. If you have a really good kid, I mean, an outstanding teenager, you can expect them to have tried alcohol, but chose to drink responsible, had tried pot once, but chose not to use any type of drugs at all, they thought about having sex when in a committed, loving relationship and know how to make smart decisions about birth control and std prevention, they prioritize their faith, family, good friends and school work, they have a goal in mind and know how to make good decisions. I compromise. My kids talk a lot to me, sometimes too much but I prefer this way. I am in my kids life when they have to make tough decisions. Sometimes I don’t agree 100% with their decisions, but I recognize that they are not me.<br>
So I compromise. My D is dating for almost 2 years. 8 months ago, she wanted to talk to me and said her and her boyfriend wanted to have a talk with me. I almost died. But at the end, it was all good news. They were being mature, responsible, and they needed us as parents to help them prevent the worst. Let me tell you: I compromised! I was without sleeping for almost one week, but then, I thought, how luck I was to have a D, that trusts us so much! I respect her a lot for that. They are both going to amazing schools, he is going to University of Pennsylvania and my D is going to Columbia University, school of Engineering and sciences (SEAS). I trust they will make good decisions, but I know they are not perfect! Please open your doors so your kids can talk to you when they need!</p>
<p>^^</p>
<p>Yeah, I agree that some parents are naive.</p>
<p>Wow - on cue from NPR:</p>
<p>[With</a> Drinking, Parent Rules Do Affect Teens’ Choices : NPR](<a href=“http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=127222042]With”>With Drinking, Parent Rules Do Affect Teens' Choices : NPR)</p>
<p>I find it hilarious that the teenagers posting in this thread (well, from what I can discern anyways) are pointing out that ALMOST ALL other teenagers drink/take drugs and that the parents are outraged that it could be THEIR kid. Well, guess what, it PROBABLY IS your kid. Sorry, you need a wakeup call. If they don’t do it on prom night, they’ve probably done it another night.</p>