I have never felt this way before. I am addicted to browsing CC and refreshing my email for college news. Every rejection i take personally, and it seems every victory does not make an impact on me. I feel my entire self-worth and my family’s respect is on the line at every single college, and if I don’t make it to a top school I have not only failed school but life as well. Every day deepens my concerns and abrasiveness toward others. Just today my friends said “I seemed a little off today, much more aggressive”. I cannot stand this waiting game, and hate life more and more as the days go on. I don’t know what to do or how to stop this insanity, but my wall is running out of space for holes fast. What do I do? Would counseling help?
A few comments:
–If you are so stressed and unhappy then do seek counseling. Even if it is short-term to get you through this period you will likely learn coping skills that can help you later in life.
-Why would you let a college admission officer who you have never met have any say in determining your self-worth?
–As long as you applied wisely to reach, match and safety schools that appear affordable and that you will be happy to attend, you will be fine.
You are letting your self worth get tied up in what college you get into, which is bad in a lot of different ways. And it sounds like you are acting like a jerk because of it. The good news is that you seem to have an inkling that both of these things are problems. No one else can change how you view this and how you behave, though. The answer is inside you, not on CC.
Things you can try to get your mind off of the college thing–
Volunteering at a homeless shelter, or helping elderly, or tutoring underprivileged kids in your community
Meditating and/or yoga
Going for a run or a swim when you get cranky (20+ minutes of exercise improves your mood)
Learn a new craft: pottery, knitting, woodworking
attend an event at your local library
Pull up epicurious.com and teach yourself to cook
etc.
I’ll agree with the exercising. It helps you feel better about yourself. Find an engrossing book to read. It helps me when I want to be distracted. Volunteering is also a good idea again it helps you reprioritize what is important and helping others almost always helps the person doing the helping.
Sure, it would be a good idea to go talk to a counselor. They are trained to be helpful, and we can all use some help from time to time. And what you are feeling is very common. You are not alone.
You are in a bit of a whirlwind with the whole college search thing. It feels overwhelming while you are in it but pretty calm as soon as you are out of it.
Could you think about taking a gap year as a breather? Time to reflect? In another reply, I just suggested working at a National Park for a year. The park concessionaires often provide subsidized housing and food, which helps with the transition to working. You can spend a lot of time in nature, which is very important for our souls, AND earn a living. Work itself provides meaning to us, and too many young people today don’t have that experience.
Good luck, and don’t get too stressed what you see here. It can appear more overwhelming than you will find it to be in reality. Trust me, not everyone in the real world, including those who are very successful, have perfect personal resumes/histories. Often their journeys have been winding ones.
In my non professional opinion which is worth what you pay for it. It’s not a self worth issue it’s an identity issue. Your life is going to change. That’s always stressful and you currently have nothing to identify yourself as …yet. Rejections feel like rejections and victories as you call them won’t really bring closure to anything until YOU make a decision. Regardless of whether you end up at “Elite U” or “State U” you will be the same person. No college is going to make you better or worse than you are.
I agree it’s hard to wait, but you have to wait for the good things, right? ; ) Good things come to those that wait or so they say. In any case, you shouldn’t get so hung up over the acceptances and rejections- yes rejection hurts and waiting also sucks. Here’s another way to look at the waiting, if you are really obsessed with the process- the time waiting is the time you can be putting your effort into activities you are interested about or things that would boost your application- yeah it’s a last minute thing…but if you get on waitlists this could help you get off them…this is my thinking or at least it’s helping me wait. Also, another way to make sure you don’t miss an email from an admissions office is to connect your email with your phone so you get updates immediately.
But, more importantly, you should take the time to think about yourself and how much you’ve accomplished. Feel proud and if you don’t feel like you’ve done a lot, then change it- put effort in things so you can say you are proud. Don’t get caught up in a pit of depression.
If you don’t get into a top school, it wasn’t meant to be. Plenty of very successful people in the world don’t go to top colleges. In fact, plenty of successful people don’t go to college at all.
Mind you, I think college is very important, but it also is not for everyone. The world needs service technicians of all kinds. The world needs chefs, hair stylists, gardeners, garbage collectors, security guards, and so on. The guy with a degree from Stanford is not more worthy than the factory worker.
Let me tell you about a young man I know. His dad was a plumber. Worked hard, had a family, saved money for his kids to go to college. He taught a son all the skills necessary to be a plumber. The son did plumbing during the summers and on breaks. He got a business degree or similar. He has different skill sets and is leading a normal, happy life by all accounts.
Let me tell you about my 92 year old neighbor. He married and has three adult children. Not only is he a WW2 vet, but he is a plumber AND an electrician. He learned carpentry and built his home. He installed all the plumbing and electricity in his house. He did the same in MY house. He loves organic gardening. He has a huge vegetable garden and eveything is grown from seed in his green house. He has eaten only organic foods for the last 40, yes 40, years. He grows every vegetable imaginable and gives my family vegetables all summer. He then CANS all his own crushed tomatoes so that he has them all year round. He STILL mows his own huge lawn every week. He still does carpentry. Did I mention he is 92? He has never been to college. If any of us are half as succesful as my neighbor, we have done well in life.
Develop some perspective. Going to a top college won’t make you successful. YOU will make you successful.
HOORAY FOR LINDAGAF!!!