Andover essay help!

Hello there!

For prompt A it says, “You are busy with school, homework, and extracurricular activities. What is one favorite thing you do just for fun—and why?” I wrote about snow sports because I am an AVID snowboarder but I’m afraid it’ll come across as too casual since snowboarding isn’t a very unique or prestige thing to do for fun? But, snowboarding means a lot to me. Should I stick with it or change it to art or something more studious?

Also, I’m VERY worried about my tone in the essays. For my Choate essays, I wrote in a very rigid and academic manner but looking back, it was a BIG mistake. My other drafts for Choate were too “casual” and “humorous” according to my parents who looked through them. I don’t know if I should write casually or academically but I write both super candidly. Casual and academic are my two distinct writing tones and I write well in both!

I’m afraid the AOs are going to think I plagiarized or got an adult to write my essays because I have an extremely advanced vocabulary and I even naturally use fancy words when I speak. I didn’t use a thesaurus or anything they just COME OUT OF MY BRAIN!! I didn’t know what to do so I went back and replaced some of the fancy words so they won’t think I’m cheating or anything.

I’M TORN BETWEEN CASUAL TONE VS ACADEMIC TONE.

Since application essays are for boarding schools which equals education so the academic tone might be better? But essays are also a holistic assessment of my personality so it should be casual???

Any insight would be appreciated!

Thank you so much :)))

Are we the same person? Lol
Besides the snowboarding part, I’m very unathletic
I think that the casual tone would work best. I’m writing about my love of baking (making pastries, not smoking weed lol). I’m going with a kind of story format, if you want to trade essays privately I’d like that

Also have you had your Andover interview yet? I have mine today, could you maybe give me some pointers?

Oops I kind of hijacked your post lol sorry

I don’t think that the AOs will think an adult wrote your essays, especially if you use a lot of big, thesaurus-y words. Adults have usually learned to write in a more simple and direct manner without words that sound forced and out of place. I completely understand that kids have to go through a process where they love using all their best words, that just isn’t what makes for good writing.

I would not be too rigid or formal in your writing but I would also have an English teacher look over your essays if possible. I don’t know if your parents have any experience with admissions essays, but if not they might not be the best people to give you advice.

@one1ofeach My parents wrote their own admissions office and went to pretty good colleges so I trust that they know what they’re doing. They’re treating my boarding school application really seriously as a college application. I will try to soften my essays up! Thank you for your feedback. I would ask my English teacher but he is VERY busy with a ton of college apps.

@isuedtobesmart OOOHH snowboarding too? Baking pastries sounds super cool! I can’t bake without burning my kitchen down haha. I had my Andover interview with an Alumni in my area and it was really mediocre. I’m sure it would be much more different with an AO. My Choate interview went REALLY well and it was with and AO.
My biggest tips are just being genuine, BE YOURSELF! If you click with your interviewer, GOOD JOB. If you don’t, you wouldn’t be a good fit anyways. There’s no need to prep questions because it seems forced and it’s more of a natural conversation anyways, not interrogation.

@saddoughnut27 lol, no I don’t snowboard, sorry if I was being confusing, I love skiing but I’m terrible
Thanks for the interview advice, if you get in to Andover will you go? It’s my top choice, maybe I’ll see you there!

@saddoughnut27 my best advice here is to remember that these are NOT academic essays for evaluation but extended interviews. The goal is NOT to “impress” but to make them think to themselves “oh gosh I would love to have coffee with this person to hear more!”
So with that in mind, READ YOUR ESSAYS ALOUD.
Do they sound like you?
Do you sound like you are sharing the interesting tidbits about you that make you the special person that you are?
Do they make someone want to have coffee with you to hear more?
If yes, then good.

To be clear: while the purpose of the essay is not academic of course there is an expected quality level for an A student. So keep it written word (no casual teen-speak language), but also accessible.

Just so you know — tone is hard! Not just for you! I’m an author and I once rewrote an ENTIRE book three weeks before deadline. I called my publisher and said: hey good news — the book is 90% done! The bad news is: I think I wrote the wrong book! My tone was academic, and I really wasn’t aiming to write a textbook — and I had to go rewrite the whole thing with a different tone while keeping the content. It was hard. (Side note: I had to get an extension lest you think anyone is fixing tone in an entire book in three weeks.)
Reading aloud is what saved me. So just know you aren’t alone and you are wise to be sensitive to tone as many new writers are not.
You’ve got this!

Oh and topic — I love snowboarding as long as you say WHY it matters to you — and in doing that you share something about your truest self. Share your truest self — it’s a brave but lovely thing to do.

In your corner over here!

Oh yeah, also I’m from FL so I don’t exactly have many chances to practice haha

@iusedtobesmart Probably although my chances are slim. Good luck with your interview. I’m sure you’ll do great! Even though we are competition haha.

@Calliemomofgirls Thank you SO MUCH for your advice! I will definitely keep those things in mind. It’s also really cool that you’re an author, writing is so difficult!! My essays are very genuine because for me it’s really hard to write about something that is untrue or something that I’m not passionate about. I guess it’s pretty natural to write about myself.

@iusedtobesmart You should come over to California and go to Lake Tahoe! There are tons of good ski places. I heard there are good ones in Vermont too, on the East Coast.