Essay too cliché?

Prep School Admissions
1

For this Choate prompt “Please reflect on the influences and/or experiences that have most shaped your personal life, academic successes, and goals. How have these influences and/or experiences contributed to your growth as a person/student?,” I wrote about how this summer I worked with an esteemed doctor on helping children with a rare disease, and how I used to take my family for granted but now I appreciate them more, and how I want to become a doctor now to help other people. Is that too cliche? I watched some videos on tips for college essays on YouTube and a lot of people said this idea was too common. Should I change it?

I have another essay about applying to independent schools 3 years in a row. Is that a better topic?
Thanks!
I know it’s kind of late but all I’m doing this break is writing essays… :expressionless:

2

It really depends on how it is written. Cliche by definition is something that the AO will read over and over again or simplifying something that is complex. It could be a great essay. IF you got into why you appreciate your family and then connect it to being a doctor it could work. Applicants are young so they are not expected to have all had meaningful experiences. What you are really writing about is what is important to you.

3

I think it all depends on how it’s written. Does it sound like it’s coming from your heart? Is it very sincere?

It sounds pretty amazing and I don’t know many 13/14 year olds who have done things like that!

4

@Happytimes2001 @dogsmama1997 Thanks for your help! I’ll write about this