<p>I have no idea if it will affect your child specifically. But it might be more likely to.</p>
<p>Think of the workplace. Ever notice how some people fit right in, manage to sit next to their boss at the Christmas dinner and find their way to the fast track ahead of others who may even have more seniority? These people -- by my observation -- tend to come from environments where business careers were common.</p>
<p>In sports, you might notice how one kid on a rival team who was merely decent ends up getting the scholarship to an impressive college while your local high school superstar is still waiting on offers from some mid-level colleges. The other kid probably got connected into a network where he learned which camps to go to and did the things it took to generate a "buzz" about him, understanding that the time to peak and prepare for is the summer, not the actual basketball season...while your school's star got into peak shape for the season and didn't know that his workouts should intensify during the summer. A good mentor would have made all the difference.</p>
<p>In other words, sometimes -- in fact, oftentimes -- getting ahead and reaching your fullest potential requires good mentoring. I have no idea what your child is like. Some kids are quick studies. Or maybe Exeter has a good mentoring program. Or perhaps your child is savvy enough to naturally seek out a mentor, regardless of what Exeter might offer. But I suspect that lots of kids, having run the gauntlet of Exeter admissions and survived, will be too confident to think that they're going to need help and assistance at Exeter. Not to survive...but to thrive. And, what I'm gathering here is that some people are wary about Exeter and they are concerned that Exeter administrators might feel reticent about being too proactive with mentoring and assistance for students...lest the rest of the world start to assume that 21st century Exonians are not cut from the same cloth as their predecessors.</p>
<p>Who will your child's mentor be while at Exeter? You won't be there and, based on what you're saying about your community, you may not be the best mentor in terms of helping your child navigate the politics/academics/forward-looking decisions of an elite boarding school. What you can do, however, is help your child understand and appreciate the fact that s/he should reach out and find someone to be their experienced tour guide for their Exeter experience.</p>
<p>Open question to all: Are there certain schools that are known to provide a little more nurture/guidance to help students maximize their overall boarding school experience?</p>
<p>I don't know first hand, but I get the sense that St. Paul's, Groton, St. Andrew's (Delaware), NMH, and Woodberry Forest may provide a little more nuture/guidance and fall into this kinder and gentler category...</p>
<p>By contrast, I get the sense that Exeter, Andover, Deerfield, Hotchkiss, Choate, and Lawrenceville may fall more into the sink-or-swim category...</p>
<p>Not sure about schools such as Milton, Middlesex, Peddie, Taft, Thatcher, Cate, St. George's, St. Mark's, Episcopal in this regard.</p>
<p>I would be very interested in opinions based on actual experience.</p>
<p>Thanks so much for your insightful reply D'yer Maker. I haven't personally had those experiences you mentioned but I understand your point. The impression I got from my Exeter visit and other contact I have had with faculty is that they will provide all of that mentoring and more. I hope that is true and that it isn't sink or swim as ELW asks. </p>
<p>For instance, the class selection process alone seemed very hand-holding. Starting with a transitions math class, and a transitions English class, and then having a language and math placement exam. It just seems like the first year at least will consist of a lot of hand holding and gentle nudging.</p>
<p>ELW: I, personally, never found Exeter to be sink or swim. I had a great advisor, great dorm faculty, and a college counselor I loved. Of course, not everyone is as lucky. I know Exeter is looking at revamping its advisor system, because, right now, it's sort of hit or miss. </p>
<p>If you are struggling, teachers and advisors will reach out. But, if I understand correctly, your concern is more about the situation where you're getting by, but not maximizing the opportunity, correct? For this, the system isn't perfect. Advisors and teachers are always available (one term I spent every Tuesday evening in my math teacher's apartment), but won't necessarily approach you. I'd recommend builing a relationship with a faculty member- advisor, teacher, dorm fac, etc. They'll guide you if you turn to them. One resource not to be overlooked, too, is older students. Since the dorms house all grades, you WILL have upperclassmen as friends, and often their advice (and help with assignments) is the best and most relevant.</p>
<p>I found that Andover could be a little sink or swim. The help was there, but you had to make the effort to take advantage of it. Teachers would tell you that you should get extra help, but they would't force you to. I think the most important lesson I learned was admitting when I needed help. Everyone was willing to help, especially kids in the dorm, once you asked for it.</p>
<p>I agree with sugerkim. Andover's not so much sink or swim. It's, swim, sink, or notice you're starting to go under and ask for some floaty wings. The sinking only happens if you are either ridiculously hard-headed about asking for help, or just can't recognize that you're drowning and refuse to believe the lifeguard when they inform you that you are.</p>
<p>um.. just a point of notice if you haven't seen andover's matriculation list.. last year had 23 going to harvard, now class of '08 only has 9.. i realize this might be in part of the ea drop, but this isn't really compensated through other top colleges.. btw i chose exeter over andover</p>
<p>dude please don't even think about colleges until 11th grade...(except for maybe, MAYBE SAT IIs) seriously you'll have such a better hs experience.</p>
<p>if u look at the info from when the schools started, it says that andover was ment to be a kind of a "feeder school" for yale, and exeter for harvard. BUT, it said MOST of exeter students went to harvard, while SOME of andover students went to yale. GO EXETER!</p>
<p>its funny about that connection because now, harvard's student body is like less like hardcore intellectual and more laid back (like andover i think) and yale is like extremely just like classes, classes, classes, and i think that's sorta like exeter.</p>
<p>not saying either one is better or worse than the other i just think it's ironic</p>
<p>at it's peak, over 66% of Andover students attended Yale. That is "most." <em>sticks out tongue while a giant gorilla tramples a lion-dragon-thingy</em></p>
<p>Where'd you get dragon, prettyckitty?
lol
It's definitely a lion, just in a non-Lion King style...
I know you probably knew that, but I wanted to make an appearance. :P</p>
<p>Oh, and on-topic...
If I get accepted to both Andover and Exeter, Exeter wins. I think there are many factors to that premature decision (I haven't even seen either campus) but i can definitely envision myself at the Exeter campus than I can at Andover, and everyone I've spoken to about that school (on facebook, email, the admissions office, etc.) has been amazingly supportive and welcoming. It's been great, just this entire admissions process, while other schools have been unintentionally roadblocking me. Such as, confusing websites, especially ones that lack information, form-letter type email responses to genuine questions to the admissions office, etc.</p>
<p>I agree... Exeter sent the most informative(And slightly entertaining) packet so far... With fun facts like the favorite cerial and such... This might be them selling me the school but when I visit I will know for sure.</p>