<p>One of my daughter's friends just found out who her college roommate is going to be, and of course, she did exactly what all pre-freshmen do in this situation.</p>
<p>She looked up her prospective roommate on Facebook.</p>
<p>What she found (to her horror) is a Facebook profile that basically conveys the impression "I like to drink a lot." </p>
<p>This is probably an accurate view of what this girl is like (and my daughter's friend is already considering asking for a room change). But what I don't understand is what would possess a kid to present herself this way on Facebook. What goes through the minds of kids who announce to the world "I break the law on a regular basis"?</p>
<p>Don't these kids have any inkling that they should either 1) not break the law or 2) not admit it in front of strangers?</p>
<p>Imagine what the admissions officers who have accepted these students think when they see this stuff! </p>
<p>Students sadly don't always remember that this stuff is VERY public and may come back to bite them you know where later on in life...a lot of employers now do searches on facebook, friendster, and myspace while screening applicants.</p>
<p>The sad thing is, a lot of times the things they're bragging about aren't even true!! My son tells me how some of the pathetic girls like to talk about how much they drink, how drunk they got, etc. and they really don't drink all that much. It's like a badge of honor (???). Or maybe it's a sort of come-on (hey, I'm drunk, maybe I'm easy too, flirt with me).</p>
<p>Think party-girl fun. Think Marilyn Monroe in Seven Year Itch.</p>
<p>I don't personally do this, but I don't get it. No one can see your profile and your pictures (besides your profile pic) unless they are your friend/in your network if you leave that open. How could employers see that if they aren't friends with that person?</p>
<p>Academic intelligence does not equate to common sense and good judgement. For some reason, kids think that Facebook, Myspace and other such websites are "their own private world" and they can say anything. We had kids messaging on a local part of a national "show choir" website, saying all sorts of things until the choir teacher got on and started reading the messages. Now, the kids are much less brazen</p>
<p>GetOutta: Since many employers recruit at the same college year after year, they have on staff employees who went to certain schools. They ask those employees to check out applicants from their school.</p>
<p>Also, since facebook expanded, you can now belong to a network that is geographically based, like Philadelphia or San Francisco. So your profile can be seen by people outside your college.</p>
<p>You can set your privacy settings so that only current students can see your profile, but many people don't do that.</p>
<p>
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No one can see your profile and your pictures (besides your profile pic) unless they are your friend/in your network if you leave that open.
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</p>
<p>Girl A announced her drinking habits on Facebook. </p>
<p>Girl B (her prospective roommate) is on the same network because the two of them will be attending the same college. She saw Girl A's profile. Girl A also friended her (don't most people friend their prospective roommates?)</p>
<p>Girl C (my daughter) learned about all this from Girl B, who is her friend. Girl B also told her Girl A's full name and the name of the community where she lives.</p>
<p>Girl C told me.</p>
<p>If I wanted to, I could tell you Girl A's name and where she lives. But I won't.</p>
<p>Yes, Marian. But these girls are all in the same college network. If you don't restrict your settings to only me or only friends, everyone in the network can see. But what if the prospective employer is not in the network? Then they can't see it...</p>
<p>They may not be able to see it (unless they're looking over the shoulder of someone in the same network), but they can find out about it. My daughter found out. I found out. Only my good judgment is preventing you from finding out exactly who this girl is, where she lives, and what college she plans to attend this fall. </p>
<p>And consider what may happen if my daughter's friend calls up her prospective college and tells the truth about why she doesn't want to room with this girl. Would you like to have your college housing office know that you're bragging about underage drinking on Facebook?</p>
<p>Bottom line, ANYTHING on the internet can be discovered/revealed/located, if someone wants the information. There is no such thing as privacy on the internet.</p>
<p>Is it possible that from Girl A --> Girl B --> Girl C --> YOU that the messages conveyed in the facebook profile went from let's say a couple of pictures of Girl A with ubiquitous red Solo cups and maybe cans of beer or fifths of liquor and an interest of "partying" to what you're considering as her bragging about her underage drinking? Now I'm not saying that her profile is as minor as what I've described above, but many times people do have things like that and never think twice about it until maybe they send out resumes for summer internships, yet people (parents, especially) can easily consider that bragging about underage drinking. Then again, if this profile is really as horrific as Girl A says, I have faith it's worse than that, but really, I don't know.</p>
<p>So many times incoming freshmen and even first semester freshmen think that to be "accepted" or deemed as "cooler" or "more mature" they need to have profile pictures with a Solo cup, or interests relating to how much they drink and party (even if they don't), but there comes a time when most of those realize that it doesn't make them cooler or more mature, it makes them look ridiculous. </p>
<p>I almost feel as if you're overreacting to this situation. Is this girl being stupid -- it seems that way, but who are you or I to judge her? Shouldn't her mother or older sister be the one to say what she's doing is silly (whether its underage drinking or posting it all over facebook)? In my opinion, you should be proud of the way you raised her daughter (and how she picked her friends!) if they find this girl's profile so ridiculous and that even if they were to break the law, they wouldn't broadcast it in a forum which is fundamentally a public one. I find THAT very mature! I just hope that your daughter's friend is a little more open minded and respectful of someone else's privacy that she doesn't report Girl A to the school housing board and goes into living with her with a somewhat open mind.</p>
<p>"The girl I wrote about is going to be attending a university that's ranked in the top 20 by USNEWS."</p>
<p>And so? (Among those are some with among the very highest rates of drinking, binge drinking, heavy drinking, and present and future alcohol dependence.)</p>
<p>"One would think that kids at that level would have acquired some degree of judgment, especially when it comes to covering their own backsides."</p>
<p>Maybe, given the company they are planning to join, they don't think there's anything worth covering, and more to be gained by not doing so.</p>
<p>I think if the girl is thinking of switching roommates just because of her perception from Facebook and before she actually gets to know this roommate then she should perhaps ask for room in a substance free dorm. Some of this Facebook profiling is posturing by the kids, some of this is very real and she will be dealing with these types of issues well into her freshman year until she meets a group that has the same social procivities as she.</p>
<p>mini, I do realize that kids at top schools drink. </p>
<p>What I did not realize is that kids at top schools are foolish enough to announce it in public, in a setting in which they go by their real names.</p>
<p>Silly of me.</p>
<p>momofthreeboys, I don't think the college in question has substance-free dorms. If they did, I think my daughter's friend would have chosen that type of housing.</p>
<p>"What I did not realize is that kids at top schools are foolish enough to announce it in public, in a setting in which they go by their real names."</p>
<p>On the contrary, it seems not to have been foolish at all. It scared her future roommate (or at least her mom) into thinking that she didn't want to room with someone who enjoys her drinking, and she'll probably end up with a more compatible roommate as a result. As for d's friend, she'll likely have a tougher row to hoe.</p>
<p>Depending on the school, of course, the odds are not all that long that your d's friend will end up drinking just as much as the self-outed roommate.</p>