Another essay to grade please

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Prompt : Nature (one's genetic inheritance) affects one's character and behavior more than nurture (one's life experiences).</p>

<p>Assignment : What are your thoughts on the statement above? </p>

<p>One's genetic inheritance is superior to one's experiences merely because inheritance is in your blood. Genetic inheritance is something that one is born with, thus making certain traits innate.
From experience, I know panic is something that always has a deleterious effect on certain things I do. I, for one, am an awful test taker. Anxiety never fails to take me over, and leave me in a quandary. Not surprisingly, my father has always been and still is a character full of panic and haste when it comes to certain situations. He's the last person you want to receive assistance from in a critical situation; he can not undertake the pressure. Hence, I am full of panic as well in some instances.
Yet another good example of genetic inheritance's superiority to experience is Mike - a friend of mine. Contrary to my character, Mike is an extremely relaxes person; he seems to have ice in his veins. No matter the situation he is in, he never breaks a sweat or even shows a face of fright. The culprits of that would be his parents. His parents are seemingly the most stoic people I've ever met; they come from families with a history of stolidness. Therefore, it is clear that Mike's genetics play a significant role in his character as well.
Indeed some people may possibly overcome a habit that comes from family history, but it seems evident that inheritance plays a somewhat inevitable role in one's temperament. It is similar to a near invincible force.</p>

2

<ol>
<li>This cannot possibly be a CB prompt</li>
<li>Your essay is WAYYYYYY too short. It should be at least twice that length. </li>
<li>No conclusion</li>
<li>Bad syntax–too many simple sentences.</li>
<li>Only 2 examples, both of which are similar</li>
<li>No analysis of examples</li>
</ol>

<p>6/12
And that’s being generous. I’m not trying to make you feel bad or anything, but you really need to work on length and varying your sentence structure. You might want to add a historical example to make it sound more scholarly or whatnot, but right now your writing lacks fluidity.</p>

3

<p>Could you please tell me the difference between simple and complex sentences? Preferably with examples… thanks.</p>

4

<p>A simple sentence is simply (no pun intended) a sentence in the noun-verb-predicate form. Just do a google search if you want the specifics on compund, complex, and compund/complex. Point is, you need to vary your syntax.</p>