Please Please grade my SAT essay frm the range of 2-6:)

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>''Nature (one's genetic inheritance) affects one's character and behaviour more than nurture (one's experiences)''</p>

<p>I strongly disagree with the above statement.Genes are only responsible for one's physical traits.It is the experiences which shape a man's character and behaviour.</p>

<p>This can be illustrated by the terrorists of Jammu and Kashir,India.The innocent young menwho come from poor and humble families of JnK have their minds defiled by fanatic leaders of terrorist groups and they are eventually transformed into hard core terrorists who seem to have hearts made up of polished steel.Such terrorists were converted into peace-loving men in the late 1990s by the famous spiritual organisation Art Of Living.The two major transistions of these men were engendered by their experiences and while the transistions took place their genetic information remained intact.</p>

<p>Another example which illustrates the fact is of Selma Lagerlof's story of a rattrap seller who led a lonely and nomadic life.He once,mistakenly found himself in the mansion of a rich man and his daughter.The daughter treated him with utmost kindness.The rattrap seller who ahd always been recieved with cruelties and wickedness by the world was amazed.Her kindness redeemed him and developed in him the once lost faith in humanity;he returned his thiert kroner notes, which he had stolem from a man who lived in the same town as the rich man and his daughter, through the kind lady.</p>

<p>Therefore I'd like to conclude that a man's experiences affect his mind and thus his actions not the information in his genes.</p>

2

<p>I would give you a 3 because:

  1. the second sentence is confusing compared to your thesis
  2. the second example is frankly not that illustrative of your argument
  3. the first example is good however
  4. both of your two main paragraphs are only 3 sentences in length
  5. and your conclusion is very weak
  6. but you do have a good talent for writing, especially in your first main paragraph.</p>

<p>Try to pick more illustrative examples, back them up more, and provide a more satisfying conclusion. And never contradict yourself, or seem to, like you did in your introduction:</p>

<p>“I strongly disagree with the above statement.Genes are only responsible for one’s physical traits.It is the experiences which shape a man’s character and behaviour.”
The second sentence presents the though as though you agreed with it. </p>

<p>You do have the potential to get a 6 on your essays if you develop them more. Good Luck.</p>

3

<p>3 as well, based on first glimpse of your first sentence in the intro and last sentence in the conclusion. Essay is too short too. At the end of your examples, try redirect the reader to your stand as to why you agree/disagree, i.e. “As shown in the story of XXX, one’s behavior is more impacted by one’s experiences/interactions.” That way you don’t lose the reader and the transition is more smooth.</p>