<p>Sometimes these sad, sad drinking deaths make me wonder about the the whole "going away to college" experience as it is currently set up....Young kids being sent off with no supervision and no family-like structure to support them...no one looking out for them.</p>
<p>Regarding the title of this thread, Another Senseless Death, the issue to me is a combination of education, preventive measures, communication and crossing your fingers – whether it be regarding alcohol poisoning, the terrible effects of second concussion syndrome, abuse of legal or illegal drugs, inexperienced drivers, suicide, etc, etc.</p>
<p>There have been other threads and many opinions on these topics, many measures taken by colleges (there is clearly no consensus on what measures are effective), but what remains is that there are still senseless deaths and there will continue to be senseless deaths. I can only hope that our “life experience” as parents can help our kids, and each other, to deal with them and to do our best to try to prevent our kids and their peers from becoming victims.</p>
<p>"False and unproven."</p>
<p>Um, this doesn't make any sense... If it's false then it's been proven false, and if it's unproven, then it could be true or false (but can't be determined without reliable info). And mini is at least providing statistics. All your doing is debunking what s/he says with "that's false."</p>
<p>Otherwise, in regards to the post above me, something similar to that happened in my school. A kid got drunk on a Friday night and was found floating in a retention pond Saturday morning by people walking by. It was a sad, but preventable event.</p>
<p>researchmaven,</p>
<p>I agree with you. That realization came to us on the way back home after dropping our daughter at the university for her first year.</p>
<p>For many reasons we kept a relatively short leash on our kids, then one fine day we put all their belongings in a car and drove them to a dorm a couple of states away (or in my son's case across the country). Sure, we went trough the orientation provided by the university but at the end of the day we basically said "be good" and implicit in that advise was a "by the way, if you have questions talk to any of the other 200 kids that just moved into your dorm." That is why in my [non-statistical based] opinion we need a less restrictive environment at home (read the village) and at the universities to teach our kids how to deal with alcohol and other drugs.</p>
<p>artie: before we actually drove the two states away and said, "be good" we had an honest heart-to-heart conversation about alcohol with our freshman daughter. Without going into two many intricate details, we specifically discussed the issue of tolerance with her and asked her if she knew what her limits were with different alcoholic substances. In addition, we offered to help her determine those limits BEFORE she left, so she wouldn't have to ask the "other 200 kids who just moved into the dorm". She responded that she knew her limits, hated feeling sick or out-of control drunk, and honestly didn't understand why anyone would want to feel that way ever.
Now, three months later, her only comment has been that she cannot believe what certain people think is a "fun" night...mind you, she definitely drinks, but can't imagine why anyone would enjoy binge drinking....(and the thought of falling asleep or passing out in a toilet? don't even go there with her....)</p>
<p>A more basic & mundane problem created by frequent alcohol consumption at an early age is that teenagers' social skills development is stunted & may become largely dependent upon the use of alcohol.</p>
<p>I believe that responsible drinking is a learned behavior. It not only has to be modeled -but it has to be experienced. </p>
<p>When my S turned 18, he was still in HS. At that point we allowed him to drink at home with the family as long as he was not going out afterward. (This did not include serving anyone else.) This meant pouring him wine with dinner, when we had it - and allowing access to a stock of beverages that often contained beer as well as soda. </p>
<p>Prior to that, we allowed a glass of wine (that increased in volume as he got older) at holiday meals. We also allowed him to follow local custom during a tour with us to Europe. </p>
<p>For him at least, this seems to have been a successful method.</p>
<p>So, so tragic. I refer high school and college kids I know to this website: samspadyfoundation.org</p>
<p>I enclosed their wallet cards in graduation party invitations a few years ago. These parents created an educational foundation following the death of their beautiful daughter to alcohol poisoning. Their best advice to this age group--"I pledge to take care of myself and others."</p>
<p>They list the of signs of over drinking and alcohol poisoning. Unfortunately, there are lots of kids AND parents who aren't educated on this topic.</p>
<p>My cousin is a high functioning alcoholic. His son is a low functioning alcoholic. The family is desperate to get help for their kid and yet is unable to connect the dots that just because the father earns a lot of money and graduated from professional school and is a well respected member of the family and the kid is a "bum"- they both have the same issue, namely abuse of alcohol. They don't understand why their kid is a drop out. Dad manages to get to work most days, why can't the kid?</p>
<p>Denial is a very powerful coping mechanism. Anyone who thinks that because their kid drank in HS or had wine with dinner or "just doesn't like the smell of beer" means that they don't have to worry about substance issues in college is delusional. Maybe it wasn't your kid drinking... but if the car he's driving in is wrapped around a tree, does it really matter? If your D has "a little too much" at a party and ends up going home with an out of control rapist, are you going to argue about why she wasn't going to end up an alcoholic or binge drinker, it was just a little recreational drinking?</p>
<p>^agreed: we all have to worry about substance abuse in college....in fact, so did our parents.......</p>
<p>But it is more delusional to think that kids are not going to experiment.....</p>
<p>Pledging a fraternity often involves pressure to drink or do drugs. My D, a college graduate, tells me that even if a boy doesn't binge drink or do drugs he may be pressured to do so during pledging. I find this frightening because even if you have brought up your child to be responsible, you cannot control what he/she is asked to do during pledging. I think this kind of pressure is more prevalent in fraternities than sororities.</p>