Any advice for my Swarthmore essay?

Applying to College
1

<p>I am not sure what's wrong with it or what it needs. Any advice?</p>

<p>Why Swarthmore?</p>

<pre><code>During my recent months of research and exploration, I have found that every person has a college that seems to reflect his or her aspirations and goals. I know that Swarthmore is the right choice for me, and if I am accepted, I will push myself to succeed while making full use of its small class size, fantastic performing arts resources, and beautiful campus.
Swarthmore originally caught my eye as I watched my older friends apply to colleges. My friend Leslie, a 2005 alumna of my high school, told me that to grasp Swarthmore, one must visit its gorgeous campus. At first, I found this difficult to believe. Swarthmore, Pennsylvania does not sound like the vacation spot of the century. However, when it came time for me to apply to college, I felt the need to investigate this somewhat mysterious college. During my first visit, I was awestruck by the magnificent, sprawling campus. Full of rolling hills and tall green trees. It seemed as though it had come directly from a classical painting. The aesthetic appeal of the college drew me in immediately, and I was inspired to research Swarthmore’s other amenities.
During my second visit, I had the fortune of visiting Swarthmore’s marvelous Lang Music Building, where I met with Professor Gerald Levinson, a composition instructor at Swarthmore. I enjoyed hearing of Swarthmore’s composition and theory programs and how the department’s objective is not to provide strict rules and guidelines, but to discover a student’s particular style and develop his creativity to its full potential. This philosophy appealed to me because it sharply contrasted with the techniques of most of the other colleges I researched.
Additionally, an aspect of college life that prospective students occasionally overlook is class size. Swarthmore’s small size would surely benefit me, because I could not imagine a class where I appear to have no name or opinion. This intimacy serves to encourage a student to engage and go deeply into course material, and find inspiration by knowing the faculty well. After researching and visiting several schools, I find no better choice that Swarthmore. Whenever I visit this fine school, I find its warm and natural environment completely fulfilling. It seems to reflect who I am and why I want to learn. Swarthmore and I are a perfect match, and I know that I will not only fit in, but thrive during and after my years there.
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<p>i hope you read "IMPORTANT:Posting Essays and other Sensitive Information" post.
well, i'm not an expert, but has researched many posts regarding this topic. to summarize:
*the best approach
1. here's me
2. here's you
3. here's you + me
*know the school (programs, clubs, campus, professors, events,
majors, details, etc)
*mention why YOU are a good fit (past experiences, school's
fortes and your fortes, your possible contributions)</p>

<p>it looks like your appeal is based on the nice scenery of campus and experience at swarthmore. i don't think you have mention every single one of the characteristics, but i think you can use stronger reasons why you NEED to go to swarthmore.</p>

<p>i hope this comment helped.</p>

3

<p>Too short.</p>

4

<p>In the end, I think you need to be more specific. Are you simply applying because the campus is beautiful and because there are small classes? A lot of colleges have those same attributes. What does Swarthmore specifically have that you want? All that it's asking is why you're applying. If those are the only reason you're applying, then you should either find more reasons or not apply. Explore its programs, its classes, its resources. It's a good school for a reason; finding unique things that appeal to you shouldn't be hard.</p>

<p>Edit: And no, 400+ words isn't too short. Use as many words as is necessary to describe why you want to go to Swarthmore. As Strunk said, "make every word tell."</p>