Any advice - thoughts for VERY upset Parent of 2012er?

Parents Forum
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<p>My son is tied for valedictorian of his class. He was told yesterday that the tie is broken by the first two marking periods of senior year and each is calculated separately, including varying the credit from lab periods of senior year. For the GPA average up to this point, final grades at the end of each year were used. Fair enough HOWEVER my S is taking all AP classes, one in each subject - AP English, AP Gov, AP Calc BC, AP Stat, AP Physics C, Latin V. The other person has struggled with history the past 3 years, barely squeaking by with an A, so has opted out of AP Gov and substituted it with APES ( the easiest AP class in the school). Since the science classes include labs they are worth 6 credits, all other classes are worth 5 credits. So........ my S with the tougher, more well rounded schedule, loses out and if they both get all As - she is valedictorian!!</p>

<p>This girl has had many B's scattered through her first 3 years of school, my S has had almost none. My S is a NMSF, she is not. It is quite obvious to EVERYONE who knows both of them, who deserves the honor. Do we fight the school? I feel like we are up against a brick wall. Or should we cross our fingers really tight that this girl gets a B in one class between now and February?</p>

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<p>For the purpose of his college apps, he will be a valedictorian - right? That is wonderful! Congratulations!</p>

<p>Does he really need the title after that? For example, are there scholarships he may be interested in that require valedictorian status?</p>

<p>If he doesn’t “need” the title, I would suggest you not worry. It really doesn’t matter once hs is over. imho</p>

<p>If a scholarship is at stake… I don’t know…
Maybe take an extra course at a local college to up the course number? and get another A?</p>

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<p>That is what I thought first, but what happens when he applies to med school. Isn’t it better to say he was valedictorian in HS?</p>

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<p>By the time he applies to med school, no one will care about his high school experience. They will care about his college GPA, his GPA in the pre-med courses, his MCAT score, his letters of recommendation, and any career related work/volunteer activities/research/publications. He will be in competition with scads of students who didn’t finish high school even in the top 25%, but who have managed to put together an exemplary record since high school graduation.</p>

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<p>If you’re still listing accolades from HS on a graduate/law/medical school app, that a problem. They don’t care about what you did in HS (apart from something extraordinary). All that matters is how he performs in college. </p>

<p>Unless, as the previous poster said, there is some real reason that he needs the title, do you really want to have your son’s last few months in HS be centered around fighting the school? Let it go and use it as a teaching moment. Your son has much to be proud of, labels be damned.</p>

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<p>^^if he is Phi Beta Kappa, or summa or magna</p>

<p>it really won’t matter that he was salutatorian ;)</p>

<p>oops/cross posted</p>

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<p>Oh, I see. This is supposed to be a joke.</p>

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<p>Just let it go.</p>

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<p>I can understand your frustration and the unfairness of it all. I have read examples on the CC board that made me feel crazy on behalf of the student. </p>

<p>However, with my kids not only out of HS, but out of undergrad, I can say that unless you are getting a valedictorian only scholarship, I don’t think it is worth having a fit. I completely concede your point that it may have an unfair outcome and agree that it is frustrating, but it simply may not be worth your time and energy. As you said, everyone knows how great he is, this is just one small award on a transitional day. Then he is off to university to prove his real mettle and it will be relatively meaningless then.</p>

<p>My kids HS chose by vote not grade and when reading all the other horrid stories on CC of gaming the system, I was so glad there was not that kind of issue. Our HS was eminently fair for class rankings, it worked quite well and there was no drama. What a relief it was not to be caught up in the games. </p>

<p>Now if you can talk to the decider and make sure the system appears fair, now is the time to do it. But how can she have several Bs and your son not and yet they are tied? I don’t understand the math.</p>

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<p>On med school applications, students are specifically instructed NOT to include anything that happened in high school–including stuff that happened in the summer between high school and college. For med school, only college achievements count.</p>

<p>As everyone above has said–let it go unless there is really excellent reason why he needs the title. (Like a scholarship.)</p>

<p>D1 was upset because one of the girls who ended up val (and her class of 1500 kids has 9 Vals) took only easy classes her senior year to protect her GPA and hold onto her title. However, it’s my D who’s in med school—and not the HS val.</p>

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<p>If the tie-break system is clear and in writing, then there is nothing to ‘fight’. You can’t win, and you just look mean-spirited.</p>

<p>Everyone knows that they should optimize their own course choices for their own purposes, your son did what he thought was best for him, the girl did what she thought was best for herself.</p>

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<p>^That’s a candidate for the best one-liner of CC.</p>

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<p>OP: Valedictorian status is a really good thing for the college applications. It doesn’t matter a bit after that to anyone else. Good luck during this very stressful time.</p>

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<p>Indeed. To underscore this, just read the story of Blair Hornstein. Even when she won, she ended up losing…</p>

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<p>Frankly, with the exception of valedictorian-only scholarships…no one cares whether someone was a valedictorian in high school once they start college …much less when they are at the stage to prepare for employment/grad/law/med school.</p>

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<p>

My advice is to do neither. Certainly don’t fight the school - if you do, you’ll come off as being pushy, mean-spirited, and envious. If your school doesn’t designate the valedictorian as the student with the highest weighted GPA, that’s that, and your objections will mean nothing. And rooting for the other student to flub up may be understandable, but isn’t admirable. </p>

<p>Anyway - I don’t understand how this other student can be tied with your son for the highest GPA if she had “many Bs scattered through her first 3 years of school” and your son has had “almost none.”</p>

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<p>I’m not much of a celebrity watcher, but, like many, I was swept into the Kate/Prince William wedding day broadcasts. There were Kate’s parents: proud but not strutting. Confident, solid, decent and graceful – these are all attributes that you can (and should) take on for yourself in the days ahead. </p>

<p>Can you imagine the titters and horrified gasps if Mama had turned cartwheels down the abbey aisle? And do you remember the awful mother who attempted to murder the mother of another cheerleader so that her own daughter would have a better chance of making the squad? Awful mothers we have – graceful mothers we need. </p>

<p>You have clearly raised a terrific kid. Be the LAST person to raise the valedictorian award at coffee (not the first, loudest and longest braying one). If someone else raises the topic, quietly say “I find I don’t agree with their process but I know that Broomhilda is a fine student too.” (Note how very devastating the “too” is). </p>

<p>And, walk the dog a lot. Pull dandelions out (by the tough root!) in the garden. Trim up your rosebushes by SLICING the dead blooms off with satisfying nippers. Be graceful and in control all the way up to and beyond graduation. </p>

<p>It is permitted to send a polite email to the principal in which you do NOT say anything unkind about Broomhilda. Instead you say that you “hope rigor of coursework will be considered in the case of a tie” and you end the email by saying “Thank you for all that you do for our students”.</p>

<p>Hold your fire. And keep holding your fire. This is one of those cases when others speaking out will have far more power. If, indeed, the young lady “wins” it may be fellow students or teachers who complain loudly. Or it may be that the students vote your son a handsome honor of another sort. </p>

<p>My two are beyond high school now. One of them was in tight competition for the top honor at his high school and his grace and nonchalance was deeply appreciated then and now. He didn’t “win” but he had a gracious attitude that made it easier for all when another (fine) student took the title. </p>

<p>And, guess what? I found myself relieved that there was another name on the program. My guy swept honors in many areas – to the point that it was almost embarrassing how much his name was in the program and in the paper. There will be good recognition of the NMF status. </p>

<p>Be gracious. You can afford to be. (And if Broomhilda slips between now and January, be kind, not victorious. She may be a devastated kid).</p>

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<p>Huh? How can this be true? If the girl has a bunch of Bs and your son doesn’t how can they be tied for val? Seems like your son should be way ahead any kid with many Bs.</p>

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<p>That might be due to the fact that the B’s were from Weighted clases while her son only took the regular classes, so 4.0 = 4.0</p>

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<p>^^Yeah, but the OP also states that her son takes all these AP classes, but the girl has been dodging them. So if anything the opposite is true.</p>

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<p>I would just let it go. Once he’s accepted to college he will probably never even mention anywhere that he was a valedictorian or any other honor from high school. Even for college, elite colleges are going to be looking at his GPA, which must be quite strong if he’s tied for valedictorian, and that, and what kind of classes he took, is what’s going to matter the most. He may even have an edge in college admissions because he chose to take more difficult AP courses over the girl that took APES but got one extra line on her diploma that said “valedictorian”. You raised a bright, hard working son, and i"m sure you’ve taught him that education is its own reward. Honors and titles are nice, but the important thing is that he learned something useful that he can go on and apply in the next phase of his life.</p>