<p>She’s thinking about fighting something that hasn’t even happened. but i agree that one kid can’t have B’s when the other kid has A’s and have the same gpa unless grades are weighted. And if they’re weighted. his more rigorous course load would trump hers.</p>
<p>But If the story is true, i would try like heck to take the high road. Being 1st or 2nd in the class are both excellent for college admissions and like everyone else points out, once in college, that hs resume or the accolades achieved lose all their shine. in fact, even for internships following sophomore year of undergrad, the applications were all about what the kid had done freshman and sophomore year in college, let alone when it come time for Med school.</p>
<p>My high school didn’t have a valedictorian, but instead named the “top two” seniors, and the local paper put their faces on the front page each year. I missed one of the slots because it was taken by a student taking a non-honors track–the school didn’t weight honors classes. I shrugged off what I could have railed against as a horrible injustice, and it all meant absolutely nothing when it came to college acceptances and the rest of my life. It’s absurd to be “VERY upset” over this. Your son will be admitted to college based on the totality of his credentials, not on some title. And please don’t share with your son your wish that his competitor do poorly and your obvious resentment of this girl—it sets a terrible example for how to deal with minor disappointments.</p>
<p>I’m just curious as to how the OP has such intimate knowledge of the girl’s specific grades …to the point of knowing that the girl barely squeaked by with A grades in three years of history. Does she know the girl’s scores on each quiz, test, paper, project?
And how does she know the girl took APES to avoid AP Gov.? Perhaps she had a scheduling conflict, or prefers science to history, or is interested in environmental issues?</p>
<p>Or…maybe the diabolical girl realized the advantage to be gained by taking the 6 credit science instead of the 5 credit Gov? I’m sure she wants to be Val just as badly…</p>
<p>Gardening is wonderful. You literally bury things (alive, no less). And then you get to stand there, serenely, and collect compliments on your tidy flower beds and no one need ever know how many near strangulations are represented. . .</p>
<p>NJM: don’t hate on the other kid, just be happy for your own superstar. He will get in somewhere wonderful. A few years from now, none of this will matter, but you want to be sure that you are not “one of those parents.”</p>
<p>A few years ago, a parent made a huge stink at our school because he thought his daughter had been robbed of being salutatorian based on the grading policy in place. It wasn’t even for valedictorian. Lots of threats were made, it was very ugly, the entire school was upset, policies were upset that impacted lots of kids and infuriated a lot of teachers, etc. I think the daughter was very embarrassed by it. Everyone knew. And it mattered not at all because she got into a super-reach school early before things really blew up. Consistently at our school, it’s never the number one kid who has the most impressive college acceptances. That’s because colleges really don’t care about the title except to maybe brag about how many valedictorians they reject. They know there is usually no significant difference between number one and number two or number three and number four in terms of whether that student would be a valuable and contributing member of the college.</p>
<p>Sometimes I am really really really glad our HS doesn’t rank kids, doesn’t have a val or sal, doesn’t ever talk about grades or even report ‘exam averages’. I’m glad the kids can just focus on their own performance and not have to keep looking over their shoulder at someone else, or worry about minute details that in the real world doesn’t matter.</p>
<p>^Starbright, I couldn’t agree more. As the parent of a valedictorian at a small school, I will admit to being proud at that moment and happy she could give a speech at graduation, but I would have traded that in a flash if I thought for one minute she ever felt beating someone else for a grade was more important than the learning. I always stressed to both Ds that they should do the best they can at school for themselves, and absorb all they could from their classes but never look at what others were doing to try and outperform them. Although my girls garnered lots of school awards over the years, I brushed off their importance. I really always felt giving out awards in each subject every year was the wrong policy. It fosters external motivation rather than much healthier and long-term internal motivation for learning. I know there were kids who were miffed or worse when they didn’t get one and it can make those that do constantly stress about proving themselves and staying on top–just not conducive to learning for learning’s sake.</p>
<p>I have a feeling from the OP’s apparent attitude that if her son doesn’t get the top honor, they will sadly both be carrying around the resentment for a long time. Treating high school (or school at any level) like a giant constant competition, IMO, has some really negative consequences.</p>
<p>What the other kid is doing is pretty typical in college, too. People game the system, taking certain classes pass/fail to hedge or protect their GPA, and try all kinds of nonsense in the name of Phi Beta Kappa.</p>
<p>Yes, your kid deserves the honor. Go to bat for him. If nothing else comes from it, your kid will have seen you stick up for him in a big way.</p>
<p>If the GPA calculations at your school are inherently unfair (which is not clear in your post) then I would discreetly and analytically bring this up to the school administration. However, it is unreasonable to expect that the school will change a policy at the last minute for your child. But, pointing out the problem may benefit future classes.</p>
<p>If the other child takes an equally weighted class that may be easier for her that is really not your concern. If the shoe was on the other foot would you find it reasonable for her family to complain that a class was too easy for your son? For all we know, your child could be a math or language genius and those classes are the “ringers” for him.</p>
<p>If your entire argument is hinged on the belief that APES is an “easier” AP than Government, well then, you have no real point here. I doubt it is an impression that others share, even at your S’s school, and it’s so subjective that you can’t possibly make an argument to the administration. Just because a particular class may be in one student’s wheelhouse, or not, doesn’t mean that it’s worth more or less credit. The credit was known to everyone before they signed up for the classes, presumably. Your son could have taken APES too if class rank was his primary concern.</p>
<p>We don’t have “val” and “sal” at our school, so I’m uninformed about the selection process, but from what you described, if it’s based on GPA alone, the process does seem unfair and easy to “game”.</p>
<p>I hope it works for your child, but on the chance that it won’t, maybe take the high road here, and tell him: life isn’t fair; the winner today isn’t necessarily the winner tomorrow; and maybe lobby to rework the selection process so the next hard working kid who challenges himself with tough courses will also be rewarded with being chosen as valedictorian.</p>
<p>When the OP said that the other student had gotten several Bs, I think the grades referred to were marking period grades. </p>
<p>But in most schools, weighted GPA and valedictorian status are not based on marking period grades. And they have nothing whatsoever to do with NMF status. They’re based on final semester or year grades, with various weighting and tie-breaking systems. </p>
<p>Almost forty years ago, I was a valedictorian. The guy who was #2 went to Harvard. I did not even attempt to get into that selective a college. He had qualifications that far exceeded mine – including better ECs, college courses taken outside of school, and a harder high school curriculum (based on his interests, which were different from mine, not on either of us deliberately trying to be valedictorian). He was clearly the better student. But using the formula in place at that time, my weighted GPA was slightly higher than his. And that was that.</p>
<p>He had enough class not to resent it (and certainly, his parents would never have even thought to bring up the issue with the school administration). And I had enough class to know that my #1 rank in no way diminished his achievements.</p>
<p>Even on the cusp of adulthood our children take their cues from us. If you are bent out of shape, blowing steam out of your ears about this, constantly making snide comments about others in the process, your student is going to have a bad attitude as well. </p>
<p>The other message you are sending to your son loud and clear weather you know it or not is the award is more important then the work you have done. By extension it’s very possible he could feel unless he is given the title you are not proud of him. Of course you are, but this is a time of high emotion for all students and feelings are not always rational.</p>
<p>Leave it alone, especially where your student in concerned. Make sure they know loud and clear you are proud of their accomplishments. A title bestowed by someone else is not so important (yes, it irritates you now, but it really isn’t). Validate your sons feelings, whatever those may be, without getting into a negative thought pattern and bring him further down. After all, this is about your son.</p>
<p>It is totally unreasonable to change the rules at this stage to favor one or other individual.</p>
<p>Valedictorian is defined in terms of GPA under a set of rules to calculate GPA. A much more legitimate stink (and maybe easy lawsuit) could be made by the other student if the rules were changed now to disfavor her.</p>
<p>At this point your S is applying to colleges as a valedictorian. I don’t know how the valedictorian scholarships work, but it is possible that he would qualify. As for med school, at that point the HS grades won’t matter. What will matter is your S’s college record. He is obviously bright, hard working and not afraid of taking tough courses. Continuing on this track will put him in good standing for med school applications.</p>
<p>I agree with weighting grades for GPA’s/class rank, etc. however you really can’t ask for a change during the students Senior year. You could meet with the administration at the end of the year and make a suggestion that a change be put into place going forward.</p>
<p>I do sympathize with your feeling that your child does not get the academic recognition. I have had my own experience with this and it stinks. But…there is little you can do about it.</p>