<p>I grew up in a really abusive home, also was bullied at school. On top of that, my dad forced me to major in biology in a 4 year college which, I stupidily and naively listened to him, because I was afraid of him. He then sent me to the caribbean for medical school (you need a pulse to get in), pretty much right after I failed 4 year college, I stupidly and naively went there. Surprise! I failed. I think he really wanted me to do medicine. Then after I came back, he forced me to join community college, which I also failed. I had no break in between to think and re-evaluate.</p>
<p>I was such an idiot for being scared of him and being naive enough to listen to him, I just kept digging myself into a hole. My entire education records are stained now. After I failed at community college, I took a break from EVERYTHING for about 2 years to just work, find myself, be away from control freak of a dad, and learn to do SOMETHING by myself.</p>
<p>Im in my 20s with a high school degree. After the 2 years of sitting out and working, I finally figured out what I want to do, but at the same time, I have no idea what to do with the kind of paralyzing record that I have. I have YEARS of failure that will haunt my academics for the rest of my life. During my break from everything, I was researching about my likes and interests because honestly, I didnt even know myself until I sat down to re-evaluate my life. I really want a degree. How do I begin? Should I just give up on school?</p>
<p>Well, of course you don’t have to give up on school, you silly bee. Community colleges take “second chance” students all the time. They then earn their way back into a 4 yr college. Or they return to their original school for their second chance admission, all schools have them. I don’t want to minimize this…and I know that tough home backgrounds are tough…but you have decades of opportunity ahead…you aren’t the first person at 19 who got off track and then wanted to get back on. Just do it. Set up an appt at local CC and take a look at the options! </p>
<p>Sounds like he dropped out of the 4 year college, but the med school took him. Flunked out there, tried CC.</p>
<p>Agree that you need to figure out a path to the degree you want. Can you tell us what it is? Most likely scenario is to get transcripts from your two college experiences (4 year and CC) and go to a CC admissions office to discuss what credits you can transfer. Finish a 2 year degree at a CC in better style than your first attempt, then transfer to a four year school. You may have to take some time off to work and earn money, but you can do it.</p>
<p>No i dont have a 4 year degree, but I really really want one. I think I’ll just go to cc, but to make up for all my failed grades, I’d have to take like 10 years of school there <em>sigh</em> Or I could go to Zimbabwe and start a new life.</p>
<p>At one very hopeful point, I thought “Is there any way to start fresh?” But I did enough research on the topic (even on this forum itself) to know that its dishonest and you have to live with it…</p>
<p>I’m not saying it is easy, but it is possible for people to turn their lives around from very bad circumstances. I think they are probably the exception, as there are many emotional and circumstantial influences that cause their problems in the first place, but people have succeeded at it they work at personal change.</p>
<p>Your failures and GPA are behind you, and even if they remain on your record, people can see the contrast. If you attend a CC now and can show 2 years of solid academic work, that will speak more for you than your former academic record. You will also have an explanation with your application along the lines of " I have changed".</p>
<p>I’m not as concerned about the school failure as I am about the reasons for it, and part of turning yourself around includes dealing with your history of childhood abuse and reframing some of that childhood baggage. I know adults who are self sabotaging their success because they are still fighting an image of a controlling parent. This isn’t even conscious. It is possible to incorporate a low self image from abuse. You might also have an undiagnosed learning disability, ADHD, or anxiety that can interfere with your academic success, or bad habits like waiting until the last minute to study. </p>
<p>Many community colleges have career centers, tutoring services, and counseling. You don’t have to know what you wish to study when you enter. College transfer courses are general education classes- like freshman English and math- that everyone takes. Once enrolled, make use of every resource on campus to help get you on track. Your future is up to you now, and has nothing to do with your dad, but you have to let go of that image of him that you carry around with you. Change has to come from you- and whether or not he approves of you- you need to do this for you. Counseling can help you do that. Address any issues that are a block to your academic success.</p>
<p>You turn yourself around one step at a time. Don’t fear how long it will take- you don’t know that, but even if it takes 10 years from now, you’ll be 10 years older anyway no matter what you do. Do you want to be 35 with a degree and a job, or 35 in the same place you are now? You can take that first step. </p>
<p>"Do you want to be 35 with a degree and a job, or 35 in the same place you are now? "</p>
<p>You’re so right, this is motivating! I’m registering soon to take classes in my local state college for fall.</p>
<p>“I’m not as concerned about the school failure as I am about the reasons for it, and part of turning yourself around includes dealing with your history of childhood abuse and reframing some of that childhood baggage. I know adults who are self sabotaging their success because they are still fighting an image of a controlling parent. This isn’t even conscious. It is possible to incorporate a low self image from abuse. You might also have an undiagnosed learning disability, ADHD, or anxiety that can interfere with your academic success, or bad habits like waiting until the last minute to study.”</p>
<p>I think most of my failures were from a low self image and depression, sometimes I procrastinated, sometimes I didn’t go to class at all. I did not know the importance of school and hard work, but now I definitely do.</p>
<p>Have you met with a counselor there regarding bringing in any credits you have already completed? Can you just “register for classes” without applying to the college? You may have to start at the CC level again… make a plan before you jump in and register.</p>
<p>Sorry by registering I meant applying to CC. I will speak to the advisor, and I did enough thinking on my time off to figure out a plan. Now I just have to speak with college advisors to see if its feasible. Right now my plan is to make up for the classes at CC, spending as much time to pull up my gpa to get into a 4 yr school and complete a bachelors. I’m really worried about my gpa.</p>
<p>You can’t change what is done. Speak to the advisor, bring copies of your previous transcripts when you do. Work out a plan and start on it in the fall. Don’t overload with too many classes your first semester, too. You may have some work to do building your study skills and confidence. Be sure you take full advantage of professor office hours, any tutoring or writing center type services offered on campus, etc. when you go back in the fall.</p>
<p>Usually, GPAs don’t transfer into a new school; just the courses and credits do. So, at your new school, if you’re a straight-A student, that’ll be your new cumulative GPA. </p>
<p>Your story is actually very common and you have a lot of company. Students in your shoes tend to do extremely well when they resume college and professors tend to really enjoy such students. So, you do get a re-do. </p>
<p>Taking gen eds plus a management, computer skills, and/or marketing course is usually a great plan when you’re unsure what major you’ll ultimately pursue. Useful courses. </p>
<p>Overcoming your childhood will take time and make sure you enlist the help of others on that (imho). </p>
<p>Do you really want to compete with 22 year old grads when you get a degree at thirty and have no job experience.?
Sounds like you have plenty of financial support. Try a technical college, if you like manly work, I’d suggest Diesel and Heavy Equipment mechanic. Big future demand and high pay. </p>
<p>Sohoist, why do you think the OP won’t have job experience? He likely will have to work to support himself through college. As a hiring manager, I might prefer the more self-aware 30 year old who worked hard for what he has achieved and has some maturity over the wet-behind-the-ears 22 year old.</p>
<p>@intparent IMHO suggested technical college. Did cast him aside, no, but instead provide him a direction that would lend to success. What would be different in his coursework that he was earlier unmotivated by at school? Not motivated at medical school. He must be 27 with two years work experience, yet still doesn’t have a plan. I suggest, that he specialize and differentiate himself from the herd of graduates. You might provide a self aware 30 year old, a job, but don’t assume a successful graduates at 22 has not worked hard, generated good will with community involved ECs, and has work experience. He should have a skill. He needs to hear more suggestions and choose from 5 or 10 of them. Hearing, oh go back to school, you’ll do well. Go back to school for what? Art History? English? or become one of the million business grads. Let’s here from him. What work experience has he and how did he get the job?</p>
<p>You are suggesting he scrap the idea of a four year degree because he is not starting in the same time or place you are, and with parents that are not as supportive as I am guessing yours have been. He probably has some credits that will transfer (maybe a year’s worth, since it sounds like he has done a couple of attempts at college). If the major he is interested in is offered at a technical college, then maybe he should consider it. But your assumption that he has given up his chance at a four year degree and should step aside for the youngsters is offensive. Many students don’t find their direction right away and go back to college after trying some other things.</p>
<p>Also, don’t knock the business degree. I have a BBA and an MBA, and honestly find my work much easier than many people I work with who have other degrees. A knowledge of accounting, finance, marketing, business law, etc. is very useful in a country where MOST people work for – surprise – a business! </p>
<p>I don’t think technical degree training should be excluded as one of the choices. Both are available at CC’s. I assumed that a vocational track also included passing classes in English and math, that the OP may have to take or may test out of. Since campus counseling and job counseling are often available to enrolled students, he may have access to these after enrolling in some basic general ed classes- but first, as inparent suggested, he should take his transcripts to the admissions office to see what his options are. </p>
<p>Even if he could place out of a class he passed in high school, or tested out of, it has been many years since he had success in school. It may be in his best interest to repeat a subject. This is something to consider.</p>
<p>The OP may not have an exact plan, but being successful at some general classes might be the first step to such a plan. </p>
<p>@intparent we are not talking about the 30 year old with a degree who has succeeded in returning to college and gathering the credits need for a degree. We are talking about a 27 year old with a very negative track record, who has long odds against him. I provided him but one option, return to school and get a skill. </p>
<p>Your indignation. offense, seems to surround your strawman proposal that I have offended those super adult college students who have returned school after a period of time to achieve a degree. Go pound sand, I’m not interested in someone who is baiting a non existing argument. </p>
Community colleges take “second chance” students all the time. They then earn their way back into a 4 yr college. Or they return to their original school for their second chance admission, all schools have them. I don’t want to minimize this…and I know that tough home backgrounds are tough…but you have decades of opportunity ahead…you aren’t the first person at 19 who got off track and then wanted to get back on. Just do it. Set up an appt at local CC and take a look at the options! </p>