A previous poster wrote: Pot is legal in MA so might want to avoid that state.
LOL, with that line of thinking you’d have to eliminate the entire Northeast. We live in MA and a dispensary recently opened near our home. Traffic and parking have become a real problem. It’s a sea of out-of-state license plates.
Because she’s 15? My kids did not go to big drinking parties in high school either (one by choice, one because she was an athlete) but both did go to parties and have a beer while in college, and now do drink as adults.
The schools in the more conservative states will have more conservative student bodies as they draw heavily from their own states. Some kids adopt their parents’ political views but not all. I have one fairly liberal kid and one who is very conservative. Same influences at home, same school experiences, just two very different people.
Disagree Lynnski. I live in NY - not legal (yet), friends in MA. Behaviors change once it is legal. Much more public. My dear friend now lives with Pot smell coming over her backyard fence. Prior to legal neighbors kept it hidden. That’s just one example.
Valparaiso University has a Lutheran affiliation but my son attends and there is no forced religion for students. They do have to take one upper level religious course but there are several topics offered and are more world view than studying religion. As with any campus, if you want a party you can find it but there are also many kids who don’t.
I think as you continue to research colleges and take tours, some of this will clarify options. I agree with you on Catholic colleges from your description.
My atheist liberal daughter is also pretty straightlaced- no interest in drinking/smoking/parties/drugs or really being around them. Her number one school right now is Mills. They so far appear to be quite liberal politically but not for party types at all.
My daughter attends Purdue. It’s big enough that there is a ton going on and everyone can find their niche. My daughter isn’t a partier and tends to go to theater and concerts, sporting events, or floor activities on the weekends. There are lots of parties though for those who want that. My sense is that’s the case at any large school.
I would stay away from small rural schools with dominate Greek life.
Agree with @momofsenior1 . D21 seems a lot like your daughter. We’re hoping to find a larger school with an honors college for her because she wants small class sizes, but I think the smaller schools make it a bit tougher to find your tribe.
Based on my experiences with S17, weed is EVERYWHERE. It’s not legal here, yet his apartment building on campus wreaks of it every time we get off the elevator! A friend’s son is at U of VT - #1 reefer madness - but he’s in Wellness housing which is booze and alcohol free. And he now has a free single since his roommate was caught smoking weed one weekend when my friend’s son came home! So they do appear to take the Wellness housing seriously.
@CaliforniaMomma I’m guessing you’re in Oregon or CA so you might want to look into some of the WUE schools as your child is outdoorsy. I can’t speak to marijuana use or partying at these places but for your daughter’s stats you might want to look at U of Idaho or U of Utah. Western Washington in Bellingham is a really nice mid-sized school (but yes, pot is legal in WA and there are dispensaries in Bellingham). Northern Arizona is in a really nice location and is a good mid-sized school.
Your daughter might also want to consider schools that have a religious affiliation that is not heavy-handed. I’m thinking of Jesuit schools or a place like St. Olaf in Northfield, MN, which is officially a dry campus so the partying tends to be low-level and discreet.
I agree with @NJWrestlingmom that wellness/substance-free housing also provides a way for your child to meet like-minded students regarding lifestyle. It won’t eliminate partying but will keep it out of her living space.
My kid is at a small-town LAC where weed is the preferred substance. She does not party and has not lacked for friends or activities. So even in a small place, it’s possible to find enough non-partiers to have a satisfying social life.
Thanks for the thread, @CaliforniaMomma . I also have a D21 who would like to minimize being around binge drinking and frequent pot smoking. She has witnessed both. Her reaction to the drinking is sadness and worry for the women. But then there’s nothing to be done, so she feels helpless. She has experienced alcoholism in our family so the helpless feeling is compounded. She also has an aversion to vomit, and finds pot smoke gross (smell gets in hair/clothes). She feels that pot lowers inhibitions in a way that isn’t great for people who are vulnerable to sexual assault (another issue she has secondary experience with).
She is politically very liberal and religiously agnostic/non-practicing. I don’t think this combination is rare in their generation. She is more progressive politically than her parents, and yet more conservative in personal behavior, especially with drugs of any kind.
I’m thinking she’ll find like-minded friends at any college as she has in high school. She would just rather not have the emotions/sensory burden associated with being around high levels of drug use. Wellness housing could possibly be a good answer if it’s enforced. She’s also planning to look at women’s colleges and Jesuit colleges.
Thanks for the suggestions, everyone!
Weed is legal in some states but not for those under 21. It’s no different than states having liquor stores. To buy weed in stores is much more expensive than buying it illegally, so it might be more available to those under 21 where it is more affordable.
At the U of Colorado, it is no more available than it was 30 years ago (available to all) but the smoking on campus laws are much more strict than they were 30 years ago. The dorms have a lot less smoking (of all kinds) in them now than they did years ago.
@3SailAway sounds like our D’s should be roommates! You just pretty much described her!
I had no idea what I viewed as a simple question would get such a response! I am sure she will find her tribe. We just started looking and wanted to streamline the whole process. This summer we are going over all the likes/dislikes, weather, housing, large classes/small classes, etc. We are trying to make a list of super important issues (Like she can’t stand super hot weather so Arizona and the South are out!) vs the would prefer it to have. I know there will be options just want to use the week we have to visit schools wisely. We will definitely consider the wellness housing.
Thank you!
Jenn
It’s hard to try to pick a college based on conservative living habits. The college age group most everywhere leans towards partying. Being subjected to other’s drinking and drug use though is mostly a problem when living in the freshman dorms. After that year, people find their niche and move in with like minded friends. For that reason, I would concentrate on housing options. If the school offers a variety of communities, she can up her odds of living with people who are engaged in something besides the party scene.
To use U Oregon as an example, they have a very good psychology department so it would be a good academic fit and I’m guessing it’s your home state. They have several living options. Besides a Wellness community in Bean, there is a Quiet Living community in Walton. They have several academic living/learning communities, too. Look at Bean. Bean isn’t the fanciest dorm, but they have the pre-med and honors kids. Both of those groups need to study more and that helps with the partying.
Where ever she goes, your daughter won’t be able to avoid other’s behavior, but she can increase her odds of finding like minded students by choosing a school that offers a variety of living and learning communities within the dorms. At big schools, there’s everybody’s type.
Not that it matters but we are in Sacramento area so Northern California but as many of the California colleges are impacted and not quite what we think she wants we were willing to consider out of state. Yes, I know it costs an arm and a leg more, but it is on the table. We can pretty much visit Oregon and any school in California over a long weekend so wasn’t asking about those. Was trying to consider something further away…
Jenn
Would a residential college be preferable, or would she want to stay home and commute to CSU Sacramento or UC Davis?
Many students prefer the residential college experience, but that often comes with more partying, alcohol, etc. in the living environment.
Look at Colleges that change lives (website). Lots of solid schools with healthy outlooks.
Look into Simmons in Boston, Agnes Scott in Atlanta, Chatham in Pittsburgh.
St Olaf would likely be a reach, but Luther, Concordia-Moorhead, or Augustana would likely be good matches.
I just wanted to add some personal flavor to my prior suggestion of a wellness dorm.
My S was quiet and a definite non-partier when he started college. He attended Fordham (in NYC) and lived in a wellness dorm for both his freshman and sophomore years. Yes, there were some kids in the wellness dorm who partied (freshman year wellness dorm was a very desirable dorm) but living there absolutely helped him to find a fantastic group of similarly minded kids. Many of them stay friends throughout college and beyond. When he moved out of the wellness dorms junior year he lived with suite-mates from the wellness dorm so they were all fairly like- minded. As time went on and he turned 21 he began to realize there is nothing wrong with a drink now and then but he is to this day a very occasional drinker and a non-partier. I can’t emphasize enough the value of this wellness dorm in his college expereince.
Other than the wellness dorm, one thing that turned out to be an unexpected positive about Fordham was its access to NYC. Being able to get into NYC opened up a lot of non-party related activities for him and his friends which they took full advantage of (ex. concerts, outdoor festivals, tapings of TV shows, museums, shows etc.) – they became expert at finding cheap/free things to do in the city.
I know you said non-religious but if Jesuit schools are OK I would look up the list and see if any make sense academically and geographically for your D. Many are mid-sized schools in urban locations. And most do not have Greek Life http://www.ajcunet.edu/institutions
From Sacramento, University of Utah would be a good option. It only takes 2 more hours to get to Salt Lake City than Eugene (UO) and it is less expensive tuition. Easy flights home to SMF even in wintry weather. I think U of U is going to be the next big thing in WUE schools. They are expanding a ton and with the new, higher WUE admission requirements for Washington State U, more kids are going to be looking at it as an “easier” option for a big state school with good school spirit.
Hurray for wellness dorms 
Seconding looking at WWU and Uutah.