I’m feeling stressed out today. So many very highly qualified kids getting waitlisted and rejected. I just can’t help think that it will be impossible for my D to get into a top or even above avg college. I find myself thinking that her ECs are weak and she won’t graduate with a perfect gpa… It’s just a bad day. The good thing is that I am not sharing my feelings with her. What I am doing to feel better is looking for great colleges that have higher admissions rates. Anyway, this whole system is just crazy.
Any other parents of Sophs and Juniors feeling discouraged and nervous based on what they are seeing
Relax. There are over 3000 colleges in this country. There is a school for every student. EVERY one.
Remember this…Love the Kid on the Couch!
That’s the one you will be sending to college in a couple of years…and that kid CAN find some great choices! Be open minded.
@thumper1 Thank you:)
Don’t let CC psych you out, this isn’t the entire world but you will think it is if you spend too much time on here. It can help but also hurt you - don’t let it in too much. You will make some right and some wrong decisions if you count on it too much. A lot of people are full pay, zillions of kids don’t get scholarships, and not everyone has a 4.0. Mix in the real world with what you read on here.
Don’t let other people determine what is right for you.
Just because a ton of kids are trying for super-reachy schools where the vast majority are rejected doesn’t mean that you have to apply to a ton of those schools too.
There are a bunch of hidden gems out there that are pretty affordable. For instance, New College of Florida with their automatic OOS scholarship.
Also William Jewell’s Oxbridge honors program with automatic scholarship where you take Oxbridge-style tutorials and get to study at or in Oxford for a year.
I agree with scotland. Small elite sample size. The same thing happens in various car forums. There you often say my car just simply can’t compare, but the sample is a bunch of elite enthusiasts.
I think CC is a good reality check. So your kid doesn't have a perfect GPA or strong ECs, you adjust expectations. I think the fantasy is way worse than the reality. Both from an admission and a financial perspective, Expectations run very high.
There is always some good choices waiting for everyone, you just need to explore them. Never lose hope stay +ve
Ask yourself this: given that students these days are applying to many more schools than they used to apply to (the Common App makes it easy and we now hear about students applying to 15-20 schools), what effect would you expect that to have on college admissions? Here are these admissions offices that are now receiving many more applications than they used to receive. Naturally they are going to reject a higher (absolute) number than they used to. So from the perspective of the students, rejections have increased. Well, of course they’ve increased!
So in the 1990’s, a high-achieving student might apply to 3 schools (only 1 of them being a reach school) and get into 2 of them. Now they apply to 17 schools (most of them reaches) and get into 2 of them. The result is the same, but it feels like a bigger dose of rejection.
It is a good opportunity to break yourself of being rank and status conscious about schools. And help your kid break free from it if they are prone to those as well. Worry about finding a range of schools where your kid could be happy and you can afford to send them. My kids weren’t hugely stressed about admissions decisions because they liked their whole list. Still a small sigh of relief at the first acceptance, but they knew they would have choices.
@citymama9 , you know my story, of course. It is stressful, because my son is nothing like my daughter. He isn’t lazy, but he simply never will have the kinds of grades she does, and he definitely prirotizes his social life over schoolwork. I see all the “am I screwed?” posts: “I didnt get into any of the super highly selelctive colleegs I applied to. Oh, but I did get into ‘reasonably respectable’ college.”
I have to keep telling myself that he will be applying to a balanced list of colleges where he has reasonable chances. No more than ten, I expect. A couple of safeties, several matches, a low reach or two. I firmly believe that the problem is people believing if they just submit more apps, they will get in, and that they are not being realistic in creating a list.
@dustypig you are exactly right. IMO , these rejections are the direct result of students applying to ridiculous numbers of schools. These students are casting a huge net in many cases just to get bragging rights for acceptances into " elite" schools. Who realistically needs 20 choices to find a good fit for schools? It only adds stress to an already stressful process. It’s only going to get worse as long as this trend continues IMO .
My A/B avg kid with almost no ECs got into several schools with merit aid. She got one rejection from her reach school. It is all about adjusting expectations.
A lot of the posts you are referencing are kids who got shut out of schools with sub 12% admit rates. But they did get in to very good other schools. I think the problem is worse for those kids with sky high stats, because their scores make them contenders for the reachiest schools, but due to sheer numbers, the odds are against them. Even though their stats put them above the avg for admitted students, the schools are all reaches. Then they get rejected and have a hard time processing why. But for a kid with solid stats, vs sky high, it can be easier to identify a well balanced list.
@citymama9 I’m feeling it too. I have learned it is not a good idea for me to read the elite universities’ decision threads in the days leading up to decision day, because the angst on those threads only feed the angst I am already feeling about this whole process. I am just glad I have been on CC long enough to have adjusted expectations for S18 so that this all doesn’t come as a big shock next year. For that, I thank all the long time regular posters who have been so willing to honestly share their experiences.
I don’t think my S19 has even heard of most of the elite schools that rejected so many CC posters this week. and even if he could get into one, we couldn’t afford to pay for it. So, no it doesn’t stress me out and it really wouldn’t stress him out - he just doesn’t see anything in life as a competition. He’s a good, not great student who will have very good, not sky high, test scores - it should be relatively easy to identify safeties and matches for him (although if he chooses engineering, that will add some stress/uncertainty).
I do feel for the kids who work so hard, are fully qualified to go to the most elite schools, and don’t get into any (and their parents, too).
@citymama9, as others have said CC can be a discouraging place with daily posts like “Oh no I only scored a 35 on the ACT and my unweighted gpa is 3.96, I’m screwed, right?”
Probably because I’m not in the Northeast or the West coast I haven’t seen the direct appeal of top 20 schools in day to day life. The MD’s (friends) all went to normal schools Univ of Alabama, LSU, Tulane (solid), Univ of Ark, Univ of Houston, there is a Stanford in there too, but all are MD’s. The engineers a similar brood of schools in my experience the success of people is much more directed toward the major they chose then the school they went too.
I used to work for Proctor and Gamble our team consisted of engineers from MIT, Tulane, Louisiana Tech, McNeese State, and Ohio State all making the same band pay range.
I just hope for a full scholarship for our highest achieving daughter and the others just to be happy and pick majors with a future.
With a bachelors degree meaning less now that ever and pay for graduates being flat even decreasing in some fields vs 5 years ago, it is paramount to pick the right major. College is too expensive for what kids are getting these days the inflation is mind boggling and unjustified in most cases.
Your job is to help your child run her own race.
Define what the goal is (happy, healthy, balanced, self supporting adult child) and advise her so that she can run her own own race (or amble her own hike) to get there.
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
After shepherding three through this process, and watching it all shake out over the years, it generally works out fine in the end. (Baring major issues that you can’t really plan for - health, mental health, changes in finances…)
One thing that may help is if your school has naviance or other system, to look at where kids with your child’s stats got in. You may find that while the super elite schools are not an option, your dd will get into plenty of good schools - well “above average”. A good education does not require attendance at a top 20 college.
You guys are great. It was helpful reading your posts this morning. I was feeling very pessimistic yesterday, especially reading threads about all these waitlists. I was also thinking that it’s imperative for D to do ED at a school that she already has a good shot at just to avoid a bad outcome. Does anyone ever ED a safety that they love just to avoid the stress? I think today is a better day. Thanks again. I appreciate each and everyone of you, I really do:))