<p>I just wrote an essay about my sister for CommonApp, it's so personal that I don't really want my parents to read it, but I would love if some of you could. I'd like to get an adults point of view on if my essay is too cheesy or not. </p>
<p>Thanks so much and happy New Years!</p>
<p>I’m about to log in and do the FAFSA, so I won’t take on more. Are you sure there isn’t a friend who knows you that could take a look? Usually when I think “oooh, maybe too cheesy” it usually is. </p>
<p>Heartfelt is fine – in fact it can be terrific. Please rethink if it might make your sister squirm or if would be mortifying if it got selected for “Best college essays of 2010” and was published elsewhere. </p>
<p>You might get a little more feedback if you posted the prompt here. The essay is supposed to be a look into you – does it do that? Good luck!</p>
<p>Unless your sister shared something with you that she doesn’t want parents to know, I would share with parents. At least, go over it with other adults.</p>
<p>My son wrote about losing his grandparents during the year he was applying. He mentioned several things about GM, what she did, lessons she tried to teach him. When reading it to others, some details could be seen to not help the flow.
I had a harder time being objective about this essay than the others.</p>
<p>For the record, I only made suggestions about a word or sentence structure, never the ideas</p>
<p>Thank you all for the suggestions. [:</p>
<p>You should give the essay to nobody but your parents to read.</p>
<p>^I could hand my parents my essay and have it be full of grammar mistakes and spelling errors and they’d still say" LAX, that’s great!!!"
Not everyone has the most reading savvy parents 
my essay is in college admissions forum if anyones interested…</p>
<p>And freckles, I’m no parent but we could swap essays if you want.</p>