<p>I am always pleased with the wonderful advice that I get on the Parent's Forum, so I just thought I would post another question:</p>
<p>I am in the midst of writing a transfer essay that is a little personal. During my Thanksgiving break from school, I traveled to New Orleans to assist my high school in cleaning up after Hurricane Katrina. For the longest time, I knew that I wasn't happy with my current university, but I didn't know why. Because of not knowing why, I couldn't think of anything to write for my transfer essays, all but one of which happen to ask "why are you transferring?".</p>
<p>While I was helping to clean up my old AP Biology classroom with one of my old teachers, I kind of realized that what I missed about my high school - the academic rigor, the diversity, the encouragement to be an independent thinker, and being able to pursue my niche - is the same thing I want but haven't had in a college experience. In this way it is less a critique of my current college (I actually think the school is pretty okay, it just isn't for me anymore) but an indirect way to explain why my institution is no longer a good match for me personally.</p>
<p>However, I am worried that writing that essay would not only make me seem a little bland and cliche', but also make me seem afraid to go out on a limb and say "my college sucks, let me into yours". The other side of the coin is that the question that is asked - why am I transferring - is also a little bland. and I don't think they want you to bash your current school. With all the talk about how admissions officers want spectacular, dramatic essays, would it be okay to write about what I'm writing about, or do I need to find something a little more dramatic and spectacular?</p>
<p>Do I have to state explicitly that my school ISN'T all of these things, or will the adcoms pretty much get that? Like I said, I don't want to write some tell - all essay about why Georgia State University sucks because I don't think it does...</p>
<p>I think this sounds like a nice way to handle your transfer essay --- I agree that transfer students need to walk a fine line between not putting down their current school too strongly and yet getting the message across that they think the school they're applying to is going to be a better fit. Sounds like you've found a good way to approach this issue. Just be careful that you don't spend so much time talking about your Katrina clean-up experiences that you never get around to explaining why the school you're applying to is a better fit.</p>
<p>Giving a lot of thought to transfer essays lately in this family, and having been a transfer myself (as has carolyn, I believe), I agree that the key is walking a fine line. You don't need to bash your current school to describe how it is not a fit <em>for you</em>, how your expectations were not met and/or how you learned better over these last months what is a good fit for you. One transfer student from here on cc last year, whose essay I had the opportunity to review and critique (successfuly accepted transfer to Harvard and several other top schools) had clearly done a lot of homework re very specific programs, ecs, professor research interest at Harvard which would fit his needs. That has to be a valuable way to get across that the new school is a better fit without having any need to denigrate the current school at all.</p>
<p>Back to OP's question, I don't think your proposed topic need come across as bland and cliche at all. If you are only applying to the one school, it all depends on how you fit it to the prompt and the specific qx they are asking. I find - having looked recently at a minimum of a dozen school transfer apps - that the type of essays they seek are all over the map. Some ask for the same quirkly/clever/dramatic essays we see in Freshman apps (fill in the empty box; how would you spend $10 on a one day adventure and with whom); some want you to elucidate an intellectual idea which excites you. All seem to want a "why transfer/why here" essay, but some expect it in 3-4 lines and some want a full page. Many want all of the above :(.</p>
<p>If you want a review of your essay draft, several of us are always willing to do that via PM.</p>
<p>When my D transfered, she wrote a very similar essay--describing things she did during her Christmas break (working at a homeless shelter with her church, and taking part in a poliitical action.) She stressed fit--how she felt her interests, goals, and academic style better fit the schools she was applying to than the one she was at, and got into all of them.</p>
<p>Like everyone says, you don't want to bash the first school, but you do need to make it clear why the goal school is a better place for you. I think your planned essay sounds like it would do that.</p>