<p>My DD, though a good student and a nice person, is going to be the world's worst interview. She is not shy, but she has trouble establishing a connection to a new person, has poor eye contact, has difficulty expressing herself. Just the thought of her trying to answer a question like "Why do you want to attend School X?" or "What extracurricular activities do you enjoy?" makes me anxious. She's anxious, too, probably more anxious than we are.</p>
<p>We were thinking about hiring an interview coach for her--does anyone have any tips on this? Or any tips on interviewing in general? Thanks for any ideas!</p>
<p>We didn't hire an interview coach, but I did make up a list of possible questions for my D which she created answers for. The college admissions books we bought all had great lists of possible questions.</p>
<p>Just before her interviews, my I'd ask one of my neighbors to come over (preferable one my D doesn't know well) and they'd sit in a room by themselves and the neighbor would ask my D questions. I made sure request a couple of off-the-cuff questions be included. Some of my neighbors really got into it! </p>
<p>She recorded all of the practice sessions, so she could go over them afterwards. This really seemed to help.</p>
<p>A video recording would be really helpful. My son had developed eye contasct with strangers by the time interviews started, but I did generate a list of questions and ask him those. He also carried a little reporter's size notebook into the interview with a couple questions he had figured out to ask the interviewer written down in case he panicked and forgot them. And he took notes during the interviews--something to do with his hands! Before each interview, we did a brief practice. A neighbor is asn alumni interviwer and she'd have done a mock one if I thought he needed it. Gook luck to your daughter. Fortunately, my son's first interviewer was extremely friendly and encouraging. That gave him a lot of confidence going forward. He also didn't start interviewing until our second round of college visits.</p>
<p>But if I had felt he needed it, I wouldn't have hesitated to hire a coach. My son has been in lots of plays and taken public speaking, so I was pretty confident.</p>
<p>Wow. It appears we took a different approach. D is naturally shy but it is something she has partially overcome through sports and girls state and other situations where you need to make fast connects with people. D viewed every contact with the school as an interview. From the initial visit through the overnight if there was one, the info sessions , and the interviews both admissions and scholarships. </p>
<p>She studied each college like a course. She had a ream of printed off material about the college , its stated purpose, its future plans, its current situation, the profs, their research in areas she was interested, student research, dorms, dining, extracurriculars. This foundation of information gave her great confidence , and plenty to talk about wherever the discussion went. Nothing rehearsed but when they would say the Fogg auditorium she would say "Yeah, and it will really be nice when we can use that again after the remodel." Her interviews routinely went over time. </p>
<p>It gave her questions to ask and ask she did , because D always felt she was interviewing them also. She never felt like this was a test of her mettle or intelligence, but like they were testing each other - like at the start of any important relationship. </p>
<p>I think canned reponses will get you killed. Do not over-rehearse. Be yourself. Be up on the material. You won't be confident unless you are. You'll be thinking about slipping up instead of sharing and learning. You'll be hiding your ignorance as opposed to being open about what you want and need. </p>
<p>The more you know the more confident you'll be . Have some fun (warning: does not mean tell jokes or be flippant!). Who wants to go to a stuffed shirt school anyway? Energy, intelligence, enthusiasm, interest. Pretty tough to show that with a script. It's much better to react in real time. That genuine stuff works, ( "and it has the added benefit of being true" as D and I used to say. LOL.) </p>
<p>D loved the interviews. She felt they were the difference maker.</p>
<p>My son researched the schools too. That's how he figured out what questions he had. And he didn't memorize any responses. The pracices just gave him a little sense of what to expect.</p>
<p>Firm handshake and at least a few points of eye contact are critical. From the time they were little, I've coached my boys to greet people with a firm handshake, a quick smile and eye-lock.</p>
<p>My father's advice is to ask for advice when you are nervous. Everyone likes to give advice--and when an interviewer responds with advice, they can't help but see the student as a potential protege. My son did a bit of googling on his interviewer and asked her for advice about an area he thought she might be passionate about.</p>
<p>Thanks to all for the responses. I'm thinking that a variation on SpringfieldMom's approach is what we're going to have to try, possibly adding an actual interview coach. </p>
<p>As I say, my DD is not shy at all...she's just inarticulate! (It's a strange blend!) So even if she knows reams of stuff about a college, she won't be able to get it out. She might easily come across as a know-it-all, too. I think practice, practice, practice is going to be the way to go with her...I just have to start making up lists of possible questions and going over them with her. </p>
<p>Thank you all again for your thoughts. I really appreciate it. But I'm still dreading those interviews. Are there any good schools for CS and engineering in the NE where you really DON'T have to interview?</p>
<p>it was a long time ago but DD2 was similar, and still can be with a strange adult. the best thing we ever did for her was somehow get her to talk an acting course. People who have not seen kids like this in action can't picture the issue. Work on it now!
not that she's this bad but my cousin never got a job after law school. my mom arranged one interview and the person told her later it was clear he had no interest in the job. not true at all, but he was frozen by the situation.</p>
<p>DD actually has done a good bit of theater and had a lead in the school play in the fall. Like I say, not shy, just inarticulate. Maybe we can do this as some sort of dramatic exercise....</p>
<p>Yeah, I was thinking if she could see it as a role where she is playing a confident person, that might work. My husband is an introvert, but has to perform constantly. He can put on that persona, that is really part of himself, I guess, and carry it off. Our son is the same way.</p>
<p>That's a good idea. She generates ideas very sllllooowwwly. She thinks pretty fast but gets the words out slowly. The writing on the SATs is very hard for her, too--in the 25 minutes she's lucky if she writes two or three paragraphs.</p>
<p>I guess what I said above could sound like I'm suggesting she be someone she's not, but I think "acting" is accessing something within yourself that you maybe didn't know was there, so in this case, finding the inner confidence. On the other hand, being thoughtful vs impulsive can be an attractive quality too. One thing I talked with my son about was how to fill a little space until the ideas come. Like, "That's a really interesting question. No one's ever asked me that before. I'll have to think about that one...etc." It's ok not to have immediate answers for everything.</p>
<p>I re-read my post and wanted to be more clear both about my relative and about working on this. my family member was seen as "not interested" because he never made eye contact. He still does not. I "think" the trick is supposed to be to look at the old Third Eye, which lets you avoid staring at the person but looks to them as sincere eye contact?<br>
I've read on here about mostly kindhearted interviewers and a few that let the kid sit and fret between questions. Personally I'd see that as a judgement on the school -negative-like a doctor with a rude receptionist. </p>
<p>ooh wackymother - my DD2 also only did 1.5 or 2 paragraphs on the writing section. Not glad it happened to either one but feel a bit relieved she's not the only kid who can't write fast. Mine also cannot write script for physical and lack-of-anyone-wanting-it reasons which also slows them down.</p>