Anyone Care to Read My Common App Personal Statement and Extracurricular Essay?

<p>I've spent a lot of time on the personal statement, but I'm still unsure about its overall effect.
The extracurricular elaboration is really rough; I had to cut it down a lot to get it to fit and I'm wondering if it makes sense.</p>

<p>I'm really only looking for parents, college students, or experienced reviewers who aren't still in high school. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!</p>