<p>Everyone hypes up the "college experience" like it's the time of your life and you'll be drowning in booze and sex and having so much fun. But I am <em>hating</em> my college experience so far. I'm in my second semester as a freshman computer science major and I've had no success so far in making new friends.
I just sit in my room every single day, learning useless bull**** so that I can attain my magical piece of paper which will help me get a job. But even if you get a degree, you are not guaranteed a job. I am perpetually bored and despondent.</p>
<p>Drop out and see the world. But, you will eventually go back to college because “leading the life” isn’t all that is cracked up to be.</p>
<p>And how do you know that?</p>
<p>Sitting in your room all day is not going to help you make friends. And if your attitude in this post is anything like your attitude in person, that’s probably not helping. </p>
<p>If you don’t want to go to college, drop out. You don’t have to go to college right now (or ever), and if you really think it’s useless, then stop wasting your money. </p>
<p>Alternatively, you can remember why you’re in college in the first place and make the most of it. Go do something instead of sitting in your room all day, hating your life.</p>
<p>It’s very easy to tell someone to “just do” something when you yourself have never experienced physiological and psychological problems. Look up social anxiety, hyperhydrosis, and cholinergic urticaria and then tell me that life is all peaches and roses.</p>
<p>Life isn’t always peaches and roses, but if you’re unhappy with your life, do something to change that. You said that you’ve had no success so far in making friends. That makes me think that you want to meet new people and make new friends, and that’s not going to happen if you sit in your room all day. It’s just… not. And I get the anxiety that comes with meeting new people, I get how hard it is talk to random people, and I get how hard it is to develop a friendship. You can act like you’re the only person in the world who struggles with making friends or talking to people or even just going outside all you want, but that’s not going to make your life what you want it to be.</p>
<p>It takes time and persistent effort, and sometimes, it doesn’t work. But the more you do it, the easier it will get. Social situations (or just being around people at all) may never feel comfortable and it may never be easy, but if you want to make friends, you have to try. You can try clubs and organizations, but in my experience, activities that force you to talk to the same people over an extended period of time work the best for meeting new people. For me, getting a job where I worked regularly with other student employees helped me meet new people, and then you can meet new people through their friends, as well. And sometimes, yes, I force myself to be in social situations that I don’t want to be in because I know it’s better for me. A job might also have an added benefit of helping you structure your time, and forcing you to get out of your room every once in a while, so you don’t slip into a funk of staying in and not talking to anyone. If you’re finding that your social anxiety is interfering with your life or cannot be controlled, then you might want to consider seeing a counselor, if you have no done so already.</p>
<p>I’m assuming you’ve contacted a medical professional to see if there’s anything you can do about your physiological problems, but even if there’s nothing you can do to help, you still can’t use it as an excuse for why you haven’t been able to make new friends. I have friends with similar conditions (cold urticaria, trimethylaminuria, etc) and they are able to live positive, happy lives. And I’m not saying that in a “they can do it, why can’t you” kind of way. I’m just saying that it’s possible, and while it may see like it’s not or that it’s really difficult, it is.</p>
<p>And me saying go do something isn’t just referring to meeting new people or making new friends. Just go do something you enjoy. Sometimes, people just need something to look forward to, and being stuck in a loop of homework and tests is depressing for everyone. And then maybe you can turn your interests into a way to meet new people. But regardless, while you work towards meeting new people and building relationships, it might help you if you do things that you just genuinely enjoy. Or perhaps, you could try to learn something new that you’ve always wanted to try.</p>
<p>Thank you for your helpful response. I appreciate it.</p>
<p>“drowning in booze and sex” errrmmm no, i really don’t think that is what they call “college experience”…at least this fall when i go to college, i wont be going with with those aspirations…</p>
<p>I definitely feel like this from time time to time, especially with my gen ed courses. Life always seems to be made up of some kind of pre-set grind. You prepare for high school, then college, then a job/grad school, then a family, then your kids’ schooling, etc. I think it’s normal to get caught up in this ever-revolving gear. </p>
<p>However, at least for me, I think of my alternatives and realize that school is better than other things I’d be doing. I don’t particularly want to work at a blue-collar job job my whole life, and even if I don’t get a job after college, at least I’d have been able to study and do what I like for at least a little while. Also, it’s nice to know that there are thousands of other students both on my campus and on other campuses that can feel as frustrated and lonely as I do. They all keep on going and turn out well eventually, so I can, too. </p>
<p>Of course I don’t know your exact situation or anything, but I think you just need to find a way to get unstuck from your gear, so to say. Do you talk to anyone in your classes? Do you know anyone from high school? Are there any computer science clubs you can join? Does the department have any events you could go to and maybe meet people in your major? I also second baktrax in that getting a job helps a TON. You’re forced to get out and see people, and you get paid as well. It’s a win-win! </p>
<p>They say that getting started is always the hardest part, and I couldn’t agree more. It’s hard starting out somewhere in a new place on your own, but after some experience, your gears will begin to mold into a new, effective pattern. (sorry for my continually pathetic metaphor)</p>
<p>Good luck with everything. </p>
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<p>Well, with computer science your odds are pretty damn good at least. </p>
<p>If you want a better “college experience” then go do something about it, as others have said. I often made friends by first studying with them. You’re not going to be friends with everyone you study with, but surely some. Do you ever study/do homework with others?</p>