Anyone else wonder why Parents are on this Forum.

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Does your daughter Think that it is weird that you have 2,000 posts on college confidential.

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Nope. I think she's probably read 1000 of them , typed the ones for me with the really big words, and at least laughed at a couple of my best. Now, does she think I am weird? Absolutely. That's her job. We all have a part to play in this process. Mine is to make her life a Living Hell from Which She Can Find No Respite. I meant to say help her find her way to college. Sorry . I'm getting a little confused in my dotterage.;)</p>

<p>Cur,</p>

<p>I'm in the same boat with you on this one. The computer sits in the middle of the family room, and it would be pretty hard for my son to miss the fact that I'm posting on CC. He has been known to read over my shoulder. He certainly doesn't mind it. There have been times when he's asked me to get some particular piece of information for him. He posts on a dozen different sites that have to do with his personal interests, but really doesn't have any desire to talk about colleges here. He does that with his friends. </p>

<p>I see nothing wrong with starting a thread and telling parents to keep their nose out, if it's a topic where only student reaction is wanted or needed. I am also amazed at the range of expertise on this site, both students and parents. I've had questions answered by students, and still others by adults that have helped our family enormously in this whole college mess. I'd hate to lose either side of that equation.</p>

<p>JoeySweets, CAgirl, and other complainers -</p>

<p>Where did you get the idea that CC is meant solely or even primarily for teenagers? You should read the Terms of Service and FAQ. Those are the rules that actually govern CC:</p>

<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/faq.php?faq=vb_faq#faq_new_faq_item%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/faq.php?faq=vb_faq#faq_new_faq_item&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>As you can see, neither parents nor students (nor anyone for that matter) is specifically included nor excluded from the discussions. It's clear to me that this site is meant for ANYONE with an interest in the college admissions process. Why should that upset you? Just take the or leave the advice from any given poster as you see fit. If you don't like what the parents post, just ignore it. Life is too short to go around wasting your time getting aggravated over things like parents posting on an open discussion board.</p>

<p>"The computer sits in the middle of the family room, and it would be pretty hard for my son to miss the fact that I'm posting on CC. He has been known to read over my shoulder."</p>

<p>I just find that extremely unusual. It's not necessarily a bad thing, It's just so strange and outside of cultural norms. And I'm not saying it's necessarily bad simply because it's outside the norm, I'm just trying to point out that it is, in fact, pretty weird.</p>

<p>And I don't mind so much the retrieving information for one's son/daughter as I do the becoming actively involved in conversation with teenagers over admissions processes. Discussing something like life on a specific campus is understandable since you are making a major financial committment by paying for your child's education, but questions like "will my d be a national merit semifinalist with a 220 in MD?" coming from an adult on a message board really irk me because the question is obviously coming from a parent who cares more about the college admission process than does the child himself.</p>

<p>And what is up with the whole "d" and "s" thing?</p>

<p>Is it the idea that a parent would post on an internet forum at all, whatever the subject, that is seen to be strange? If so, I don't see why.</p>

<p>I've been on different boards for years. I monitored a lot of the posts on CC last year when my dd (a common net abbreviation -- parents are allowed to use them too!) was undergoing the college application process. She didn't have the time to spend here, much less the inclination to read about all these kids with stats better than hers. Now she is in college and doesn't have the time or inclination to hang out here. She knows I have been and has no problem with it.</p>

<p>It is only recently that I began posting on CC. I do so when I think there is a question I can answer or opinions have been solicited. If the OP would say he/she only wants to hear from students, I would respect that. </p>

<p>For instance, several times on different threads I've found kids really worried that their test scores and/or recommendations aren't going to make it to the colleges by the deadline. I think it has been useful to tell them that colleges let you know if an application is incomplete and allow you to correct that. Last year, two colleges didn't get test scores and one didn't get one recommendation (or the places lost those things). It wasn't a problem -- my daughter arranged for duplicates.</p>

<p>It is hard not to seem like you are bragging if you mention that your kids are at X & Y colleges. Both mine are at prestigious schools. (There, it sounds like bragging already ...) But when I mention the fact in a post, it is to provide information to an OP who wants to know about how to get into those schools. For instance, someone wonders if it is possible to get into an Ivy taking the ACT, not the SAT. I say my daughter did. Is this still meaningless bragging or living my life through my daughter, or does it benefit the discussion? I think the latter. </p>

<p>Maybe she could post information like that, but she is more interested in her college experience now and her future, not how she did her college search and how she applied. My son is even less interested in sharing his experiences because he is now concerned with getting into grad school. What time they spend on the net is with other things.</p>

<p>I agree the "prestige" thing can get a bit thick. I know someone last year who just wanted her daughter to get into an Ivy, any Ivy. It didn't matter that she could study what she wanted at any number of non-Ivies. I don't see it myself (anymore than I want to drive a luxury car or live in a big house, just because I could). My daughter wanted the school she's at because it is the only one in the Western Hemisphere that has a major in the field she has wanted to be in since 3rd grade. </p>

<p>My son had more leeway, looking at lists of top-ranked engineering programs. It came down to a choice between two, one a private school with a "name" and the other a state school. He picked the former because he liked the town and the students he met better, he preferred the size, and the ECs he was interested in were more represented. (The food was also worlds better, which made a big impression on him!) I would have been perfectly happy (and had a lot more money in my bank account right now) if he had decided to go to the state school.</p>

<p>Do parents really have no impact on a child's success and therefore no reason to mention it or be involved in the process at all? Let's see. My son wanted to accelerate in math because he was bored. I tutored him then found him other classes and resources, I fought the school system to let him skip the classes that went over what he already knew, and found a private school when he was unhappy in high school. Then I nagged his new school to let him do correspondence work -- discovered by my research -- after he made it through Calculus BC (they were perfectly willing to let him sit there for three years not doing math at all).</p>

<p>As for my daughter, I homeschooled her from 7th grade because public school wasn't working in her case and she was miserable. I found the resources and helped her understand them, corrected her work, etc. I kept the records, from which I was able to come up the the long description of the home study program that was sent to prospective colleges.</p>

<p>The work and native talent was all my kids, of course. But I certainly helped them.</p>

<p>I don't know that you can look at the "my son scored this, is it enough for that" posts and assume that the students aren't themselves involved or thinking the same thing. Undoubtedly, there are pushy parents about on CC. Others are just trying to help their children accomplish whatever the latter have chosen. Reading about some of these kids, I would wonder if they had the time to post anything on CC or monitor different threads. I mean, when do they sleep?</p>

<p>Anyway, I don't know that you can necessarily tell the two sets of parents apart without some indication in the post that the student doesn't care about the answer. Further, there could well be any number of families where it is the kid that wants to go to expensive, elite college X and the parents that hope for something more within their budgets.</p>

<p>As for "my kid got into X!" posts, I don't think they all mean that the parent is claiming credit. Parents are happy when their children do well and are happy. It is the nature of the beast to want to do at least a little bragging, too, I must admit :) I am so very proud of my two. It seems to me that an anonymous place like CC gives parents a safe outlet to express these sentiments. In real life, it can be hard to mention these things. Did I volunteer to that women who was desperate for an Ivy for her dd (daughter may have wanted it too, I don't really know) that mine did? No way. And it was really tricky last year when my niece was rejected by two of the same schools that accepted my daughter.</p>

<p>There is quite a bit of news of college acceptances on homeschooling boards. I don't think it is perceived as bragging. People talk to each other for years sometimes sharing information or experiences and feel happy for each others' successes. They also appreciate knowing that, yes, it can be done -- this child is at Princeton, that got a 4 year scholarship, this other has to chose between the Naval and Air Force academies. I imagine that there is the same sort of cameraderie on CC.</p>

<p>My daughter definitely knows I post here - she's even used my login for her own postings! She uses me as her "research assistant". She's a senior; she's busy. She knows I like chasing down details and have the time to do so. But when it comes down to it, she is the one completing and submitting the applications. She chose (with some parental advice) her list of schools - and these are all schools she would be delighted to attend. I can't say that it will be entirely her decision where she attends (money could be a factor), but her preferences will carry the most weight.</p>

<p>The college application and admission process is daunting. It is also fascinating. I LOVE colleges. I love to visit them, learn about them, see how their sports teams are doing..... I attended a big state U and a prestigious professional school. I have a daughter at a top university and a son who was just accepted ED to an Ivy. I'm not here to brag. In fact, one of my roles here is to show how a kid who has really screwed up in the past (my son) can bounce back. I am here to learn from others and to help others. The bonus has been the wonderful friends I have made on this forum- parents AND students. My son didn't always appreciate my involvement, but he did turn to me when he needed information about a particular school.<br>
I have gotten PMs from lots of students asking for help and advice, and I have been glad to share what I know.</p>

<p>"Does your daughter Think that it is weird that you have 2,000 posts on college confidential. "</p>

<p>My S knows that I post on CC, and occasionally, he looks over my shoulder. S does not post here because his idea of Internet bliss is IMing friends or checking out boards related to electronic games.</p>

<p>I have helped lots of students in real life with college applications. I have done this with jobs I've had and simply for fun, such as things I've done for free for S's friends at their and their parents' requests.</p>

<p>I feel very sorry for students whose parents refuse to get involved with their college process. Choosing a college is typically the biggest decision a teen has made in their life, and it helps to have the support and encouragement of their parents.</p>

<p>I also was sad to read of the teen who posted that his parents provide only food for him, and are providing no help at all as he makes his college selections. While an important part of parenting is helping teens develop wings, those parents' lack of involvement seemed callous if one assumes that they are not poor or overextended in some kind of family crisis situation.</p>

<p>I like to think CC is about learning. Learning many things not available anywhere else has been my experience from this site. Choosing a college is cooperative decision in my family. Everyone is involved. My part is research and secretarial. ;)</p>

<p>Well my parents are paying for a big portion of my college tuition, so I don't mind them having a say in where I go. It's their money after all. </p>

<p>But they've been pretty reasonable and low key throughout the process.</p>

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<p>You are wrong about that. There is nothing weird or even unusual about parents being much concerned with the success and happiness of their children. It has been common in western culture for thousands of years. Growing up, getting educated, finding a good job, marrying the right spouse -- these are all things that children do that their parents will likely take a great interest in and try to help them where they can. College admissions is just one piece of that continuum. Nothing at all unusual about any of that.</p>

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<p>It's just an abbreviation that serves as a substitute for the child's name. Better to use D and S than to reveal names on a public on-line board. Again, nothing strange or mysterious here.</p>

<p>"""I'm just trying to point out that it is, in fact, pretty weird."""</p>

<p>Same Here</p>

<p>"You are wrong about that. There is nothing weird or even unusual about parents being much concerned with the success and happiness of their children."</p>

<p>Caring about your children is not weird. Having 2000 posts on CC when your child has already been away at college for a few years is pretty weird.</p>

<p>And using "d" and "s" just makes all the parents sound like crazy internet-obsessed freaks. Just use son or daughter. Honestly, that's a good part of what bothers me. There's a world of difference between, "my d just got into Virginia!" and, "my daughter just got into Virginia!" The latter's tone is just so much more normal.</p>

<p>Have those so irked by parents posting on CC, which is designed for parents and students to share info, considered getting theri information from one of the many college boards that are designed for just teens to use? Seems that would make more sense than complaining about parents using boards here that are designed for them and teens to use.</p>

<p>The forum is designed as a place for students to come and talk about their futures. That's why there is a designated "Parents Forum." Notice that a forum is called "What Are My Chances?" and not "What are my D's/S's chances?" I agree with mmamon in that it's really creepy and weird. Some parents do make very insightful/interesting posts but I'd rather they weren't here.</p>

<p>Case in point: Who isn't a little creeped out by this thread? <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=130304%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=130304&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Posters in general are pretty upfront whether they are a high school student or a parent- this gives you a base of knowledge to judge their advice and comments.
Not creepy or wierd, what would be weird would be to try and hide your age/status.
I think it is pretty normal for adults who are interested in others & in particular students their own childrens age, to be interested in what these young adults have to say about certain topics.
I think the parents on these boards are a very valuable resource and it appears that most of the younger posters do as well.
There are hundreds of thousands of blogs on line that are skewed towards teens- that can be private - friends only- and since posts on these boards ( CC) are public and accessible to anyone who sticks a couple terms on Google- perhaps teens on CC who wish to be more private might want to consider something that isn't searchable by Googling</p>

<p>There is not much point in talking about something about which you have little real knowledge. Most of the older folks here have actually been to college and know a whole lot more about it than someone whose exposure is typically a short tour at best. There are some of us who actually either work at colleges or have been involved with them for many years. You might just learn something.</p>

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Case in point: Who isn't a little creeped out by this thread? <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com...ad.php?t=130304%5B/url%5D%5B/Quote%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com...ad.php?t=130304

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<p>I'm not, but then again I also spend time on the forums at <a href="http://www.dentaltown.com%5B/url%5D"&gt;www.dentaltown.com&lt;/a> ;)</p>