<p>To the OP:
If S is interested in being chef, have him get a job in a restaurant. It is the quickest way to find out if he would be cut out for that career. He can start learning as a line cook & move his way up from there. It's still a field where you don't ALWAYS have to have a formal degree. IF he really begins to enjoy it, then he can look into culinary arts degrees to further his education and expand his prospects.</p>
<p>I have a relative who is a chef and he said that restaurant exp. was a great indicator for who would be most successful in the formal education programs. Most students who go on for a formal degree are older and have worked in the food industry already.</p>
<p>my roommates boyfriend is starting culinary school in january. he plans on majoring in "baking and pastry arts." i got a kick out of that, but it really does suit him. he stopped going to school here because he just wasn't happy studying biology anymore when he wanted to be a pastry chef :)</p>
<p>from vegging to baking - that's quite a transition. I find it very gratifying that this thread has gotten so much play, especially in light of two recent threads that decried our exclusive focus on Ivy league admissions. :)</p>
<p>Most of the previous posts were about boys. How about are girls? I have a son who followed the regular path, graduated in 4 years from top school and has a good job. He was not the most motivated person, but he did what he was supposed to do.</p>
<p>OTOH, my daughter is in college, but is less motivated, still perfer vegetating at home, if possible.</p>
<p>I see many kids who are just turned off by their educational experiences, so assume education is not for them. This is so common in socal where big high schools and State schools are extreme sink or swim environments where all but the most self directed get lost. I just think a lot of these kids never got to love learning from being in the wrong environments.</p>
<p>backhandgrip: I bet you have a wonderful relationship with your kids.</p>
<p>From what I've seen, kids who "aren't meant for college" have enough problems with > the unstated criticism from their friends, family and society. Not to mention their > own self doubts. I can't see how hearing his own parents nagging is going to make > him feel any better about himself.</p>
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<p>boysmom ... I guess everything comes in different shades of gray ... no going to college and living at home indefinitely rent-free are not the only two options.</p>
<p>I do have a planned hard and fast rule(s) ... 1) when living at home you need to pay your way and 2) you've got a year in your early adulthhod to do this ... it could be right after HS, right after college, or in the middle of all that. Why do I think this is the best route? I am not prescribing college but that they develop a plan to become independent ... you want to go to Harvard to be a doc great, want to become an electrician great, want to join the Army great (but I'm worried), etc ... we'll back you 100% while you set yourself to become independent. Life may throw some serious curves in their futures such as lay-offs, divorces, etc and we will help them transition in these cases (with an expectation of living expenses paid for and a limited time to live at home). </p>
<p>While you may see this as "tough love" I see it as expecting and enouraging them to move on with their lives. I do not control what others (grandparents, girlfriends, friends) do to help/support my kids ... but I do control what I do and it will consistantly include expectations of their (in our eyes) working on pulling their own weight.</p>
<p>Not sure Kirmm. I am doing better in college than I did in high school. So I have no idea how to explain that either, other than the fact that colleges give real meaningful work and you don't go to class as often. I don't understand why high schools just don't switch and do things the way colleges do--going to a class two or three times a week (depending on whether or not its a TTH class or MWF class). Some kids have to wake up at 6:15 (or maybe even earlier) in the morning to take a shower, get dressed, have breakfast and get out the door and on the bus for an hour or so's bus ride and have school until 3 pm in some places. Then another hour on the bus unless they have to stay to do sports or club activities. By the time they get home I can see why they would want to do almost no work.</p>
<p>I still cannot explain why I am doing better though.</p>
<p>It makes so much sense that many kids do better in college when they can study what really interests them. I agree, many high schools turn off the interest in learning, a real shame.</p>
<p>That and there's too much of a discipline problem, which probably starts in elementary school. Teachers have to spend too much time punishing the ungrateful undisciplined brats that some parents send to school. And their parents think they are little angels. By the time they get to high school, their parents come to school to curse out the principal for them. I worked in my high schools office one year so I've seen a lot. One girls mother even called the school to get her out of trouble and just told her over the phone to give her books back to the teachers, clean out her locker, and come home for good.</p>
<p>Irishbird,
No#1 son has logged many hours in the food service business from wait staff to prep to line cook/grill specialities. He seemed to like learning and was good at it. Problem right now is we live in such a remote area, although in a county seat. There aren't a lot of places to work. He lost his temper with a testy waitress using some colorful language back in the kitchen and bye bye job. His car was totalled in a hit and run accident by illegals with no insurance and he couldn't replace it so he has been stuck with finding work locally until we are in a position to help him. Like I said in the post-school of hard knocks! He hasn't been able to make enough money to pay his way for anything except intermittently. I think the city is kinder to restaurant opportunities. </p>
<p>Regarding school years and kid's later attitudes toward college: much of his negative feeling was a result of parental overkill by his father (my ex). Son has a tendency to do really well then to slack off to the mid-range. Father wanted him to approach learning seriously as he had done and demanded consistency in his grades. Any "C" earned 6 weeks in-room detention with either homework or books to read. I think there were times that he was really trying, but the subject didn't always click. Regardless, this punishment for grades turned him into a rebel that didn't want anyone to tell him what to do or to push him in any direction. Son eventually ran away and came to live with me after early graduation and we got the continuing fallout. </p>
<p>If he evinced an interest in a subject, the surest way to turn him off was to provide learning materials. He automatically assumed he was being steered. I know some families (and cultures) seem to get away with forcing their children into studying, A+ achievers, demanding the kid have the credentials to enter the finest schools. I guess the kids must be more willing to go that route or are more obedient to family wishes.</p>
<p>3tog0: it is a shame that you aren't situated closer to a city for more work opportunities. But your example of the food industry also shows that it can be a difficult work environment...dealing with many different personalities both in staff & customers; also very physically demanding & completely different schedule than other types of jobs, ie. working evenings, holidays, weekends, etc.</p>
<p>It is not an easy or low-stress career at all (even if you love to cook!) and if you go for further education, those culinary programs are not cheap, so a person should know if they are committed to becoming a chef before embarking on it.</p>