Hi. My son isn’t motivated and as far as I know hasn’t done a thing to begin applying to schools. (He’s a SR). I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know what he wants to do (who does, really) and needs to retake his SAT in October. He has changed what he “thinks” he might want to study several times (I don’t care what he lands on) and the other night mentioned Culinary School out of the blue. (I"m okay with that as well, but think having a degree helps down the road). A friend of his is doing that and am not sure if my son is just being lazy. To me, a year off, or even taking community college classes in combination with working somewhere that’s culinary related, could be a possible solution. Writing wise I know he isn’t ready for college. Last year he got into a not so great group even though he is a varsity athlete. He seems to have turned it around taking AP Bio (one of his interests) but it seems a day late and dollar short at this point. We think his younger sister makes him feel “less than” as she is a straight A student and is very bright. I’ve been encouraging him to make sure he’s on top of things but he doesn’t like any reminders, even those that are needed. I don’t want to give up (we don’t badger) but I feel as if he has to fail on his own. Ugh.
My son delayed college by 2 1/2 years. It was the best possible thing for him! He did a couple of different volunteer programs overseas and now studies in Beirut, Lebanon where he also volunteers in the Syrian refugee camp south of the city. It would have been a disaster for him to go straight to college after high school. Now he makes the Dean’s list EVERY semester. If he continues that record, the American University of Beirut will let him get a master’s degree practically for free.
Sure there are always kids that don’t head off to college and aren’t deferring at an accepted college. Some people put a limiter on it and call it a “gap year” but it can be a year or more. If he is intrigued by culinary then he has a perfect path by working in a restaurant for a year or so. Not everyone heads off to college immediately after high school but I think kids should get a job and have a plan for the gap.
Remember that community college is college, so a student would have to put in the work there. Also, attending college after high school graduation would likely result in the student being considered a transfer student to four year colleges.
I have a friend whose son did that. He’d been working part time at a restaurant, so he took a year off and started working at the restaurant full time. Well chefs changed and he hated the job. He’s now a happy student at Wesleyan. If I remember correctly he’s double majoring in music and history.
I know someone else who did a year of AmeriCorps and then applied to college without any nagging.
I know someone who for a while wanted to go to Culinary School. Working in a restaurant for a few months ended that idea.
If your son doesn’t know what he wants to do, then I would expect a year off from school to help quite a bit. I think that getting a job might be better than community college for two reasons. One is the “transfer student” issue that @ucbalumnus has brought up in post #3. The other is that it will give him a closer look on what it is like to get a job with no credentials, which might itself be motivating in the long run.
One child of mine is currently in a gap period. Neighbors call it a gap year. We call it a gap decade. It might become a gap eon but I don’t think so. Currently child is on Year 3 and I can say that this person really really needed the break.
First, many kids’ frontal lobes do not fully engage before age 25 about. I can see my child’s brain / maturity catching up to his / her natural intelligence. Also, this child seems to be figuring out what s/he wants to do. A colleague at works’ child just graduated last spring from college and is now working as a waitress until she “figures out what to do.” My child seems to be doing this before college. Frankly I’m pleased about that because my child is doing this when a) no student loans are due and b) s/he can earn money for college beforehand.
Second many cultures formalize this one- to two-year period (or more) with require service before becoming an “adult”. They require military service or volunteer service or mission period – whatever. There’s no reason why a child needs to go immediately into college.
Third, this child is starting to feel the urge to go to college now that s/he is seeing friends and relatives marching ahead. I keep telling child that going to college doesn’t necessarily mean they are “ahead” of him/her as after they graduate they may still not know what they want to do.
Personally I’m super happy about my child not applying to school. When the time comes I will suggest that s/he take one or two CC classes to get their toes wet again, and then apply as a transfer student someplace that seems right at the time.
Here are some things your child might consider –
SCA – Student Conservation Association – look at the internships. There are several with varying lengths of time, vastly different locations, and types of work.
Volunteer.gov – work on public lands that can include housing
workaway.info – work 4-5 hours a day for a roof and sometimes a meal – all over the world
coolworks – paid work.
One friend’s child hiked the Appalachian Trail. Next project on this child’s agenda is hiking the Pacific coastal trail.
Thanks for that input. I forgot about the transfer part, which I’m okay with, too.
Yes. We were thinking about that as well. To me it’s also beneficial to learn what you DON"T want as much as it is what you DO want. People 40 plus can relate to that comment, I’m sure. 
None of mine had the inclination to take a break before heading to college and while it would have been fine with me I would not have funded it. Just my view.
I was also considering some of those noted. I’m old enough to only really be aware of the Peace Corps. I think, personally, that it is a great idea for a variety of reasons. I think if his resume is lacking currently, doing any of those things would be a plus, no matter where he winds up.
The transfer pathway can be either better or worse than the frosh pathway, depending on the student and the state of residency. Note that the state of residency is significant because most transfer students go on to their state universities, so the relative friendliness to transfer students (in terms of such things as transfer credit articulation and the like) in the state of residency matters.
Students with strong high school credentials may have more scholarship opportunities as frosh applicants than they would as transfer applicants after a year or two of college.
Whereas @ucbalumnus is not wrong, he is also maybe not aware of the many opportunities for nontraditional students and transfer students. Even students with middling records can find homes at some pretty decent colleges. If you read carefully you will find that many colleges offer FA to transfer and nontrad students.
St. Olaf
Wheaton in Mass
University of the Pacific
Beloit
Wooster
Knox
Nontraditional students have opportunities that are not open to traditional students:
- Many women’s colleges have special programs for nontrad students and they often include FA–Smith, Mt. H, Bryn Mawr, etc.;
- UPenn and Columbia have special entire colleges for notrads – same education as their other undergraduate colleges. FA may not be as generous
- Reed, Hampshire, Sarah Lawrence and other colleges that are interested in different perspective on campus have room for nontrads in their regular programs.
- Yale has the Eli program and Brown has it’s own nontrad program;
- Harvard has the extension school that offers easy entrance by taking X number of courses an scoring above Y average. Education is not exactly the same as Harvard undergrad and FA is not equal but it’s Harvard and you’re treated as a Harvard grad by Harvard ever after.
I think you are asking 2 different questions. The first is whether it’s okay to delay applying to college. I think that’s a different question than deferring going to college–and your post seems to acknowledge this. If I were you, I’d tell him he doesn’t have to go to college next fall if he doesn’t want to, but he should still put in some applications to a couple of colleges now. A year is a long time, especially for a teenager. He may find that a year from now, he’ll feel quite differently about going to college. And while he’s still in high school, it’s a lot easier to put together an application than it will be once he’s out of school. At least ask for teachers’ letters of recommendation and put them on file with the GC.
If you qualify for fin aid, as others have said it’s usually harder for transfer students to get fin aid. If he decides on the CC route, MAKE SURE he checks out the articulation agreements with 4 year colleges, so he doesn’t just spin his wheels.
I’d be really hesitant to encourage him go the culinary route, at least if by that you mean be a chef. Of course, I say that knowing nothing about him. However, it’s a very overcrowded field in which it is very, very hard to succeed. Most of the few who do–and many who don’t–are already very skilled cooks by the time they finish high school. Working a few hours a week in a restaurant isn’t going to tell him much about being a chef. He needs to work full time in a restaurant kitchen if this is what he wants to do.
The best culinary schools, e.g., the Culinary Institute of America DO offer degrees–and cost as much as the priciest private 4 year colleges. (Although it does offer fin aid.) Even if you graduate from one of the top few, your odds of success are low.
If you take a year or two off after HS, then apply to college, are you still applying as a Freshman and can qualify for freshman merit aid? (assuming you were not taking college classes anywhere during the gap period)
DH started college right out of high school…which he really should NOT have done. But it was what was “expected”. He wasted a ton of money failing most of his courses at an Ivy League School. He took a year off, and worked part of the time and took some CC courses. the Ivy readmited him…and he stupidly went because that was what was expected. He then wasted a ton more money failing a bunch more courses.
Then WISELY, he did what he wanted to really do for about 8 years.
He then decided himself to go to college…started at a CC, and transferred to a four year where he (finally) completed his bachelors.
I say…if your son has something else he wants to do before going to college…I’d let him. Some folks just do a better job in college (or not if that’s what they decide) as older, non traditional students.
Yes, and yes except for a few scholarships that are only offered to those going to college immediately after high school.
I had no idea what I wanted to do, other than going to college at some point. I was unmotivated and clueless. My parents were very hands off and I guess assumed I’d eventually go to college, but I was left to my own devices to figure out how that would happen. So I literally did nothing until I heard it was time to sign up for classes at the CC near me.
I spent three years at CC. I dropped a bunch of classes, went travelling, and eventually got put on academic probation, which makes my kids laugh when I tell them about it. I finally got my act together and transferred to a four year state Uni, but it still took me another three years to get my degree. I had caught the travel bug and took semesters off to keep travelling. I regret being put on academic probation, but I don’t regret the timeline of how I did things. I wouldn’t have spent a month in Australia, or spent time driving across the U.S. and down into Mexico, or taking PCH all the way to Vancouver if I hadn’t done things my way.
If your child isn’t ready, don’t force it, but do have a conversation about expectations if he takes a gap year. I know several families in whihc students had to flounder around and find their feet before choosing to go back to college, or not, for at least one of the young men I know. In short, your son will be able to apply to college later, but it is still in his best interest to get the best grades and test scores he can for his final year in school.
@thumper1, my husband’s path is remarkably similar to your husband’s, although he started at Wisconsin. I’m glad he took the circuitous route, because it gave me a chance to grow up and be old enough to date him when he came to grad school at UT!