<p>It's not well-written, so I'm confident that no one will copy it. </p>
<p>All eyed me enviously after they learned about my insomnia. After all, cutting off one-third of your time spending submerged in a quasi-death does sound like good news. In the age where we are all magicians juggling with too many glass balls at once, a time bonus carved out of those pointless sleeping hours will help to perform the trick.Of course, those who slide so effortlessly into the pillowy comfort can never be expected to grasp the true agony of insomnia, the agony of deafening silence with no soothing background noise. No distraction whatsover.There is but only me, and me alone, facing my own existence and, perhaps all too often, unearthing the vast emptiness. Total nada. And yet the swirling neural dance goes on, even when the party is over and everyone has left. I founded a forum for insomniacs with one purpose in mind: to search for humans. I had no idea that so many were out there-restless, blustery souls that blow wildly in the dark, craving to fill up the void with human warmth and connection. Together we talked, laughing and crying with glossy emoticons, plowing through the hours until the morning dawned. The forum has been a haven, a "clean, well-lighted place", as Hemingway would have put it, to stay for a night, and to survive it. It is humans, and humans alone, that have the power to lift the nada, and infuse life with meaning.</p>
<p>It is definitely well-written, as you have taken an unorthodox approach to a short essay…BUT this isn’t a school-related extracurricular activity, which I think the CommonApp is asking for. Or at least I don’t think an online forum for insomniacs is. Either way, I really enjoyed reading it. Could you possibly elaborate on a school activity instead?</p>
<p>It’s interesting and decently written. I’m not sure the magician analogy fits as well as it should, and for me at least, the spanish insertion really stands out, which I’m not sure I like.</p>
<p>Because you mention “emoticons” I can gleam that you’re talking about an online forum, and not an physical forum - and I’m not sure that’s the most important extracurricular you want to be writing about. To me, I can’t imagine maintaining an online forum would show that much initiative and/or leadership, unless you describe it in such a way that it does.</p>
<p>August, I’m in the same boat with you. I relate totally to the deafening silence. I do agree this is not what the common app means by an EC so i wouldn’t put it there. However, I would suggest lengthening it a little and trying to make it your long essay (perhaps including quotes from the forum). Its interesting and yes, well-written. I’ve already drafted one essay on the plus side of my insomnia :)</p>
<p>and could you give me the address to that forum?</p>
<p>@chintati and theimpatienttone: Thank you for your feedback, but why isn’t it an extra-curricular activity? I devote lots of time to the forum, and it is physical, because we do hang out and all. An online community is still a community, and maintaining it requires great efforts. I didn’t know that an EC must be a school-related activity. Will check it for sure. Thank you Chintati.
Furthermore, this short essay is not about what I do, but why I do it. Do you think it’s a wrong focus?
I did sense sth wrong with my essay, but I couldn’t specify what it is. Certainly will find some way to fix the magician analogy. Thank you theimpatienttone. @lterry: I’m an international student, so the forum is not in English. I doubt it would be of any help to you, but thanks for your interest.</p>
<p>All eyed me enviously when they learned about my insomnia. After all, cutting off one-third of your time spent submerged in a quasi-death seems like an amazing gift. In an age where we are all magicians juggling too many glass balls at once, insomniacs appear to be the privileged few with a prodigious bank account of time bonus to perform the trick. Of course, those who slide so effortlessly into pillowy comfort can never be expected to grasp the true agony of insomnia, the deafening silence with no soothing background noise and no distraction. In darkness I lie alone, facing my own existence, staring blankly into the vast emptiness. My pounding awareness is a pain, a swirling neural dance that goes on even when the party is over and everyone has left. I went online, starting a forum for insomniacs with one purpose in mind: to search for humans. I had no idea that so many were out there, restless, blustery souls that blow wildly in the dark, craving to fill up the void with human warmth and connection. Together we talk, laughing and crying with glossy emoticons, plowing through the hours until the morning dawns. The forum has been a haven, a “clean, well-lighted place” to stay for the night, and to survive it. As I came to realize, it is humans, and humans alone, that have the power to lift the nothingness , and infuse meaning into life.</p>
<p>I think it’s well-written, but I would reiterate what many said above: it doesn’t quite fit for the extracurricular essay that the common app is looking for. You say it takes a lot of work to run the forum, so it might be better to describe that rather than to describe your insomnia itself. While it’s interesting (and, with a lot of work and a deeper focus, might make a good full essay) this particular section looks for more of a description than anything else.</p>