I also agree with @bridgenail which is why I started this thread. I think there are “rare” circumstances where some kids may get either big increases from matching offers, in our case the 6K increase was certainly due to matching a peer school as well as new information on elite awards that will be public in a week’s time. I am doubting we will see any increase from school B and if there is any it will likely be small. D was offered only 10K in merit money at NEC. When we looked into appealing, the form said appeals are typically between 1-5K with anything above 5K being rare. We believed them so we didn’t bother and declined admission.
School A and B are still financial stretches for us and when I recalculated the new scholarship for school A, I realized it’s still around $2200 more than school B for COA and above the “cap” on what we told D we would pay for her. I told her if school A ends up being her choice she will have to do work study to make up the difference of the $1600 over what our top spend is. I guess we will see if she wants it badly enough to have some skin in the game. And honestly, I don’t think the meal plan shown in school A’s cost sheet is accurate at all. I suspect she will be out of pocket quite a but if she attends there she needs to know that going in. It will be an enlightening visit next week I’m sure.
About work study: all four of my kids worked–often multiple jobs–throughout undergrad. My daughter who went to conservatory probably worked the most. The last two years of undergrad and throughout grad school she covered all of her living expenses (housing, food, everything) except instrument insurance, which we covered. ) I am sure this experience in maintaining a very busy schedule has helped her become the successful freelancer she now is. So, my point is, working in undergrad is valuable in many ways, not just because it helps pay the bills. Also–while there were a few kids in my daughter’s conservatory who did not work in undergrad, most did.
That is great to hear @glassharmonica! YOu should have seen D’s face when I suggested she will need to have a job if she decides to go to school A. LOL. Honestly I would want her to work at school B as well. If my poor son the engineering student can do it then she certainly can. And he was in marching band freshman and sophomore years with an engineering curriculum! Yikes! Covering her living expenses would be amazing…
@SpartanDrew congratulations on the successful appeal! You bring up a good point about the meal plan and if it’s realistic. We found living costs varied a lot. Some colleges offer housing all four years and the students actually choose it (moving to affordable on-campus townhouses by senior year). But city schools tend to kick them out of the dorms after freshman year. City schools can be wonderful but also expensive! It can make a $ difference when your kid is now in an apartment that’s on a year-long lease, especially when they might have otherwise come home for summer. And subleasing can have it’s challenges, like the summer my D’s roommates subleased to a guy who basically left all his stuff in the middle of the living room, cranked the a/c up, and then needed to be chased down for rent. I guess it’s all good life lessons.
^^Apropos to @drummergirl 's comment, my kids all moved off campus after freshman or sophomore year and it saved a lot of money. This includes two who went to school in NY. We found that in NY students tend to move off campus as soon as they can. It’s true that subletting during summer can be an issue, but they did always manage to find decent subletters. It’s a bit easier in NY because many people come to the city in the summer and need sublets. There is a FB group called “Gypsy Housing” specifically for performing artists looking for sublets. One thing about meal plans (that I found) is they’re so expensive and tend to be priced for male students with huge appetites. So a lot is saved when there is no longer a meal plan.
That’s encouraging @glassharmonica and I agree about the meal plan, although my middle one was required to carry a minimum meal plan all 4 years at her school even when living off-campus. But after (almost) putting 3 through very different schools, it all probably evened out in terms of living costs, summer storage, traveling to/from, visits, entertainment, etc.
@SpartanDrew, let me add my congratulations on the successful appeal too. If Schools A and B are the ones I think they are, then your D has a terrific “no wrong choice” situation. I don’t know whether this is typical, but my son made well in excess of $1600 a year from gigging in NYC while he was in college. In any event, I agree with others that having her in a situation where she needs to make some money to make ends meet is not bad preparation for making it as a musician after college.
@SpartanDrew - I agree with setting a cap and having the student pay anything over. It really does teach them a lesson of deciding what things are worth more and then working hard to get them. That’s my sons dilemma now as I explained in a previous post. He can use 100% of our limit on choice #1 or use 40% on choice #2 and get the balance in help if/when he goes to grad school. He also has to get a summer job to pay for books/supplies each year. They need some skin in the game!
Yup I agree 100% @2KansasKids. We are “just” under our cap with school B and $1600 over with school A. So very close. But if she really wants it we will find out how much very soon. She will be there in one week so we should know where she stands by this time next week or maybe after the 24th on her last day of the visit.
$1,600/yr is not that much if school A is a much better fit for her. A summer job each year could cover that.
Congrats on the appeal @SpartanDrew
@SpartanDrew - We found out exactly how important, and decision making, those second visits can be.
After not receiving enough money through the appeal with S’s top choice, we sent an appeal to school #2. AFTER sending the appeal, he went to admitted students day and also took a sample lesson with the professor he would be working with. To my surprise, after the visit, he flipped his preference for his second and third choices (He had already gone to admitted student day at school #3 last week, so he could compare the two).
So, now school #3, who offered him the huge scholarship money right off the bat with his initial acceptance, is his second choice. I thought this was awesome because I didn’t expect school #2 to give us enough through appeal anyway. But as can be expected in my life, the opposite happened. School #2 contacted us the day after his visit to let us know they were giving us $10,000/year more - essentially matching school #3 8-|
I’m very glad he went on those second visits of both schools, because, without the extra information, he may have jumped at school #2’s second offer and regretted it later. Although, I do feel bad because I feel we wasted time for the school going through the appeal process with us. Although, I can’t let my guilt make a decision about where he goes.
S is calling to ask some final questions of school #3 today, and we should (hopefully…) have a final, final decision by tonight. I’m almost positive it will be school #3. Phew, I feel like I’m on a roller coaster.
“I guess we will see if she wants it badly enough to have some skin in the game.” I actually think a little skin in the game is an excellent thing! My daughter badly wanted to go to NYU, and even after a nice scholarship (great example of a school where we were told scholarships were rare to nil, then got one and knew others who got one), it was well above her other choices. She took out low-interest Perkins loans – not a lot, maybe a total of $10k over the four years – and is now paying them back. We took on some debt as well, and the scholarship and subsequent grants helped a lot, but she feels good taking responsibility for a portion of her choice.
@countertenor my head is spinning! I feel like I was playing the shell game reading your post and can’t figure out which school is which! Haha!
I’m glad DS is down to two schools, at least I can keep it clear in my head. He is giving one last appeal to school #1 this week for more merit aid, and then will likely wait until Monday the 30th to make the decision.
same here @2KansasKids and I expect our decision will be down to the wire as well…
I’m a huge fan of the skin-in-the-game thing. Sometimes the best way to know what a kid truly wants (or maybe doesn’t want so much after all!) is to suggest that kid purchase it (or some of it) himself. 
There’s just so much life-learning that goes on when you make a personal investment…you learn how to evaluate quality and determine value; set realistic, attainable goals and save up for them; respect, care for and treasure what you worked hard to earn; etc. And, in my experience, a young adult investing in his own future tends to take each step along the way more seriously, thoughtfully and intentionally. So we have chosen to ask our kids to contribute reasonable, doable amounts to all sorts of things, including extracurricular activities, instruments, equipment and supplies; summer camps, programs and experiences; college expenses and more.
I completely respect parents who prefer their high school and college kids not work during the school year—I totally appreciate that many families see school AS their kids’ job when it’s in session. And that argument can be especially compelling for time-intensive majors such as music performance. However, I still see tremendous value in working during school if feasible (and assuming it doesn’t interfere with educational success). So much growth happens outside of the classroom, and I really love the lessons (about responsibility, reliability, time management, self care, prioritizing, networking, career development…) my kids have gotten from juggling jobs, school and fun. Plus, we’ve so far found college jobs to be reasonably accommodating and exceptionally fulfilling and rewarding when a student is able to snag one that relates to his major/department!
D (voice) appealed for more merit as UG and got more and appealed for graduate and got more. It helps to have other offers to use as leverage. In both cases, a teacher was interested in her and helped with the appeal.
Wow, this thread is interesting. We never appealed anything. Teachers just offered to try to find more money after my kid met with them post-acceptance during a visit. (Then again, we never did sample lessons either, prior to admittance.)
Work is a complicated matter. One of mine did pay a substantial amount himself but he was in CS. Summer jobs were well-paid. For music, and indeed for liberal arts in general, I tend to take the long view. In other words, short term earnings may, in some cases, interfere with the development needed for longer term earnings (and fulfillment) due to fatigue and time constraints.
I also feel that internships and volunteering (for outreach, for instance, or in schools, facilities for the elderly, mentally ill, homeless etc., or administratively for an orchestra, ensemble, festival or other non-profit) can be more valuable than working in the short term, if they lead to longer term jobs. Maybe not for all 4 years. But the kids who can afford to do these things versus waitressing have an advantage.
Then again, they have to eat, and so do we. I do have one who is choosing to do college p/t and mostly supports herself. I wish she would take a break and intern but she is an independent sort:)
Gigging is different, since that covers both short term need and builds experience for long term work- IF it helps develop the musician as an artist.
@YertleTurtle - very well put. Everyone uses their own experiences. My father had to work full-time to put himself through college and his grades suffered, so he forbid us to work our first year of college (which he paid for). He did however make us pay for books/fees/entertainment from summer jobs. Most everyone sees benefit in the student contributing at some level; it is just how much and when. Personally I want my kids working some, but prefer on campus and/or flexible part-time work. My son has been offered a 10hr/wk paid internship in his field of interest 1st semester freshman year this fall, which I think is perfect. But that’s only if he goes to school #1 (the expensive choice as I’ve mentioned in earlier posts).