<p>I had and odd school career that involved moving around a lot. I went through a rather troublesome "f--- the world" phase while I was in high school after my parents divorce, and though I continued to do extremely well in extra curriculars (10 science olympiad gold medals, solo radio performance on the double bass at 14, math club, orchestra, etc.), in a fit of rebellion I managed to destroy my GPA and attendance record my sophomore and junior year (at the end of my junior year I even left a month early to hitch hike across the nation). In my college essay, I would like to touch on my passions and hopefully address the fact that I grew through my mistakes. I would appreciate a critique of the following essay to see if it adequately completes my goals.</p>
<p>prompt:</p>
<p>Describe your academic and career plans and any special interests (for example, scientific research) that you are eager to pursue as an undergraduate at Indiana University. Also, share any unusual circumstances, challenges, or obstacles you have encountered in pursuit of your education and how you overcame them. (200-400 words)</p>
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<p>My heart is beating like a drum; loud, but slow. My eyes are closed, and it's as if my heart is the only thing in the world. Just a heart and a floating, detached consciousness. Tha-thump. Tha-thump. I'm partially sitting, partially floating at the bottom of a reclaimed quarry, nearly forty feet below the surface. If I were to open my eyes, the surface would merely be a small trickle of light filtering through the murky water. </p>
<p>My lungs are screaming, and I can't ignore it any longer; I need to breathe. I kick off the ground, propelling myself toward the surface. I push forward, stroking as efficiently as possible, my muscles screaming from hypoxia. Just as I begin to fear a black out, I breach the surface and gasp. Fresh air is delicious. </p>
<p>Most people think freediving is a sport for adventure seekers, for those who consider rock climbing bland and BASE jumping too safe. I argue strongly to the contrary. When I dive, it is not to seek a thrill or adrenaline rush; in fact, a rush of adrenaline would consume my meager oxygen reserves all the quicker. What I look for in a dive is a sense of flow, of beauty, of Zen; I know no better way to clear my mind of whatever anxieties are permeating my day to day life on the surface.</p>
<p>Seeking peace and immediacy are common elements throughout my life. I attended thirteen different schools in six states in my twelve years of education. I've lived in more houses and apartments than I have fingers. Because every new school meant I had to make new friends and deal with the constant hassle of disjoint curricula, I ended up with a childish disregard for school that hurt my high school GPA in a tremendous way. </p>
<p>I thought that because my dad taught me calculus at fourteen, because I won many Science Olympiad competitions, because I read about set theory and physics in my free time that I could float by without doing homework or even attending class. I was wrong. I chose to go to Indiana University High School the last semester of my senior year so that I could repair my GPA, travel around the country, and perhaps prove to my first choice college that I have grown up and am worth a fighting chance. Hopefully my efforts will pay off.</p>