When my older child (my son) was applying for college, there was virtually no discussion or sharing of information among parents of students in his class about college intentions (wishes). In some ways this may have hurt some students who weren’t well informed about colleges or the application process. At the same time, the high school did nothing (that we were aware of) to steer students. They did not make this appear to be a competition among their graduates. But we knew the process was highly competitive on a national basis.
In the one general (all-parents) meeting that we attended organized by the guidance counselors, we were told that we should not apply to more than two or three colleges – or we might be hurting the chances of fellow students. And yet there was no coordination or cooperation – or even much sharing of information – among parents or applicants. I suspect the counselors’ advice was based on their goal of reducing their own paperwork.
Our kids were advised by parents who knew the national college scene pretty well, though less about the current application process or, in particular, the process for applicants to art school (which is what our daughter sought). I’m not so sure most parents were equally well informed. We bought several college guidebooks, familiarized ourselves with the testing regime, and helped the kids to determine the lists of colleges. In no way did we see this as a competition against fellow students at their school. But we decided to keep the application list relatively short – ca. half a dozen colleges in each case, well spread across the “difficulty of admission” spectrum. The kids did what was needed to prepare their applications. Tests, essays, and (in one case) an art portfolio. We were fortunate to have saved the money (with some support from our own parents – enough to pay for about 30% of the total costs for each kid) to afford any college that might admit our kids. End results were very good.