<p>My wife and I visited our son this last Feb who is a freshman at Yale and it was during “Sex Week.” As far as I could see it was a lot of talk – and that’s about all. I loved the article about the nude party there and all the kids did was talk about classes.</p>
<p>^^#21
That article claims there were 2000 students present at the s&m lecture - that seems like a lot considering Yale’s student body size.</p>
<p>I watched the Zombie video and as a woman I was offended by the glamorized rape scene.</p>
<p>While I am not shocked by what I have read about the contents of Sex Week (except for the anal beads), I am concerned that some 18-year-olds are at a fragile point in their lives when it comes to sex. Many Yale freshmen are probably virgins when they get there and I’d feel better if their introduction to sex was about beauty, love and tenderness rather than plunging into sex with pain, zombie rape and peer pressure to learn about advanced oral-sex techniques.</p>
<p>I took a class in human sexuality when I was in college that was very eye-opening for me, and I learned a lot, but it was presented in a respectful, clinical way by a college professor.</p>
<p>OP, Read the Parent Thread for my comments, I was concerned during the “week”. I am 100% with you. I also find it interesting how many parents and students on this forum feel differently. </p>
<p>There is so little time at Yale. These kids are so bright. Spend the week on something extraordinary. They will all figure out sex eventually without a week of programming. (In my previous post I have said that I thought many of the offerings were appropriate, just some crossed what my personal line of appropriate for a University “blessed” event.)</p>
<p>It is completely a matter of “where do you draw the line?” Instruction on use of anal beads, an entire lecture devoted to different licking techniques of the *****. Come on! If they had a live demonstration of sexual intercourse or a live demonstration of a self stimulating homo-erotic experience…would it cross “the line”? It would be instructional. I think that is what the OP and I am trying to say. Where is the administration in terms of oversight?..some judgement is needed. Oh, I know where administration is…they are sending emails about the census…heaven forbid we don’t fill those forms out correctly.</p>
<p>They’ve had a version of this since I was in school decades ago. We had a bunch of lectures, seminars and meetings. They were 90% ridiculous and even boring, except of course for the evening when a bunch of female grad students fawned over this gorgeous guy’s very long description of how he lost his virginity (at a late age, relatively speaking) to an older woman on a beach. I felt like I was in a European movie. That guy was so self-absorbed he could have been sucked into his own vortex.</p>
<p>It started as more educational, more about the change in life from home to away, and it became more culturally provocative, mirroring how things have changed. I walked away thinking it was tinged with an element of talking about sex so kids who were never cool could feel cooler. My guess - and it’s just a guess - is that element remains.</p>
<p>haha they called Sasha Grey lol</p>
<p>Well Im glad to hear that there are other parents who feel the same way and thank you BlueHouseMom. I think this is undermining Yales reputation and creating a very unpleasant environment for some significant group of students like our daughter who mostly keep quiet because they dont want to sound like they arent hip. If it continues to get bigger in future years, wheres the end of it?</p>
<p>As a college administrator and a student of higher ed history, let me assure you that 18-22 year olds have been fascinated by sexuality and intoxicants since the dawn of higher education. In fact, my perception of the appeal of intoxicants is that their primarily role is that of a social lubricant to medicate anxieties about the sexual fascination. And of course, none of this should be surprising - the long-term viability of our species is utterly dependent upon that sexual obsession at this time in their lives. </p>
<p>But for centuries, while college students have openly discussed alcohol and other intoxicants, social norms have dictated that they pretend to be oblivious to sexual fascination. Frankly, I’d guess that that repression only tends to heighten the obsession.</p>
<p>Is a theme week devoted to human sexuality appropriate at a college campus? Absolutely. Is this particular Sex Week extreme and in poor taste? Certainly. But given the number of years that the topic was totally taboo, there’s likely to be an overswing of the pendulum to the opposite side before it eventually settles somewhere in the reasonable middle. And we all know that on the list of college student drives, after sexuality and intoxicants, shocking one’s parents runs a close third.</p>
<p>The very worst thing that Yale could do as a university is take the position that “that isn’t a topic that we discuss here.” It really doesn’t matter what “that” refers to. If the Yale administration ever responds that way, then we can assume that the essence of Yale has been lost.</p>
<p>P.S. I must admit to a bit of a voyeruristic tendency myself - I’m a Harvard parent who snuck over to the Yale board to check things out. And for what it’s worth . . . yeah, Harvard students do these types of programs too.</p>
<p>Interesting observations, gadad. Your perspective makes sense.</p>
<p>Its been a bad year. The Yale student who just committed suicide by jumping off the Empire State Building was someone our daughter knew. So sad. Now theres a student who has withdrawn and is missing. Whats going on this year? Its not been a happy time. Given these tragedies, a continued discussion about sexual bad behavior seems wrong now. Were disturbed by all of this but well try to put it out of mind.</p>
<p>With five posts to his/her credit, the OP has nothing positive to say about Yale. S/he seems only to want to point out and accentuate the tasteless and the tragic. I doubt that doubtingparent is a Yale parent at all.</p>
<p>“anyone else worried”</p>
<p>i am now after reading these posts</p>
<p>To be honest I didnt know about Yales sex week until reading about it on this forum. As another poster stated, I too am bothered by the fact this is an annual event with week long classes/activities. In light of the Brandford students death last semester and the suicide this semester I would like to see the administration spending more of their time and energy into addressing these issues and less into sex week.</p>
<p>Tutu: the university does expend its energies on serious and important matters like the student deaths. The Sex Week thing is run by students and the administration is hands off. Your complaint would be against what some students do with their creative energies. Would it have been better for the school to use resources and time fighting or censoring what students themselves put together?</p>
<p>How does this reflect on Yale? I don’t get the complaints. Yale is filled with people with enormous creativity. Sometimes it’s directed towards areas where one might find objectionable or even tasteless. And so what?</p>
<p>Stuff like this will happen all the time. It’s no biggie to me.</p>
<p>In all fairness, where is abstinence week at Yale? Equal time, baby. Guess it’s not “cool” enough?</p>
<p>As the parent of an admitted student who is considering Yale, this does not bother me. I am not going to lose sleep over the possibility that my daughter might choose to attend such an event and learn about some bizarre sex acts and sex toys. I do want her to be a well-informed person and my philosophy is that if something exists, it is worth knowing about.</p>
<p>I am very concerned about campus safety, substance abuse and mental health issues, particularly in light of events that have occurred on campus in the last year. Before I let my D accept Yale’s offer I will want to know what Yale is doing to address these issues. About sex, I simply want to know that she will be free to follow her own path in a safe environment and that she will have access to sexual health services as needed.</p>
<p>The former student mentioned in post No. 30 has been found; he’s staying with relatives and is fine. [Yale</a> Daily News - Police find missing former student](<a href=“http://www.yaledailynews.com/news/university-news/2010/04/03/police-find-missing-former-student/]Yale”>http://www.yaledailynews.com/news/university-news/2010/04/03/police-find-missing-former-student/)</p>
<p>With respect to the young man who took his life this week, I can’t help but think “There but for the grace of God go I.” This family’s unspeakable tragedy could be any of ours. I worry that our kids are paddling furiously under water without our knowing it. Boys can be especially guarded. I used this opportunity to talk to mine. And yes, Yale needs to increase and improve mental health resources. I’m confident they will. </p>
<p>Good perspective on Sex Week, T2.</p>
<p>Vicariousparent, I think it’s hard to blame any of the concerns you raise on Yale.</p>
<p>The murder last fall (which I assume is what you refer to when you talk about “campus safety”) was not random crime from the supposedly dangerous streets of New Haven. It was committed for what seem likely to be personally motivated reasons by an employee of the university who had nothing in his background to suggest that Yale should be worried. It’s the sort of crime that could happen anywhere, in any workplace. Campus safety has nothing to do with it.</p>
<p>As for the suicide, that was the first suicide at Yale in 11 years. The national suicide rate is 11.1/100,000 (per year). That is, more than one in every 10,000 people commits suicide every year (and the rate is higher among young people). Yale has about 10,000 students (counting grad students), so I’d say 1 suicide in 11 years suggests that Yale is actually doing pretty well in the mental health department.</p>
<p>As for substance abuse, Yale’s alcohol policy actually works quite well for protecting students, by ensuring that they can seek help in a medically dangerous situation without worrying about major personal repercussions. The student who died was using drugs far stronger than alcohol, which are as illegal at Yale as they are anywhere. The notion that appears sometimes (particularly in the YDN comment board), that this tragedy happened because of Yale’s lax alcohol policy is ridiculous. </p>
<p>Vicariousparent, your daughter would be as safe at Yale as anywhere else. We had a bad year this year - but as far as anyone can tell, that was just bad luck. In fact, in some ways Yale is pretty safe - by far the largest cause of death among college age people is motor vehicle accidents. And most people don’t drive at Yale - she’d be in far more danger on a campus where most students had cars.</p>
<p>T2…Im sorry if you think I am asking the administration to censor students. I am not. I understand that sex week is organized by students, but it is an annual, week long event. Where does the funding for the speakers/classes/activities/demonstrations etc come from? Could sex week happen without the administration condoning it? You say this event is an expression of student creativity .what are other creative, annual, week long events at Yale totally organized by students?</p>
<p>I think Yale is a wonderful institution with or without sex week.</p>
<p>"I think Yale is a wonderful institution with or without sex week. " I agree too. What I’m saying is that anyone or group who can substantiate a learning experience, can probably tap into one department or another’s budget and get some funds. Truelove mentioned “why not an abstinence week?”. Indeed, I’d say “why not” as well. But the reason is no student or group is going to bother to stage one – it’s not as if Yale is against abstinence per se… they are pro-learning definitely – even allowing for pretty heated stuff (like Sex Week). It’s not Yale’s responsibility to run a counter to Sex Week. If passionate students felt they needed to, they would – and Yale would fund them too, I’m certain.</p>
<p>There were and are all sorts of perhaps bizarre or less than mainstream events. I think there’s something around National Coming Out (of the closet) day by the LBGT organization. There have been marches and demonstraions against controversial subjects (Iraq invasion, anti-ROTC groups, university investment practices, town-gown and labor disputes, etc.). I’m sure many of these were organized by groups that rec’d University funding. Some very far left – some far right. </p>
<p>To me as long as they didn’t encourage violence or intolerance – is exactly what a place like Yale *should *be sponsoring. (and I consider myself more conservative than not).</p>
<p>Would I be bothered by some demonstration of bedroom toys or kids acting out in some pseudo-sexual performance on campus? Sure. Bothered enough to ignore them or walk away. But certainly not bothered because they existed.</p>
<p>I’m bothered that social circus acts are played out on shows like Jerry Springer and feels that this type of stuff just demeans society. But I’m not gonna torch my local media outlet.</p>
<p>svalbardlutefisk: Thanks for the response. I was not blaming Yale for any of the incidents. I recognize that the murder had nothing to do with Yale. But campus safety is <em>always</em> an issue at Yale in a way that it is not at, say, Princeton. Substance abuse and mental health are issues on all campuses, not just Yale’s. Thank you for clarifying that thing about the student death on Halloween. I had only heard that it was an alcohol related death. Nevertheless, I am troubled by the perception that Yale has a “lax alcohol policy”. I am all for a sensible alcohol policy, but it should be one that keeps the students from a) getting hurt or b) developing an alcohol problem during their undergraduate years. </p>
<p>But I am straying from the topic of this thread- my short response to the question posed by OP is: Not me.</p>