I don’t really like to call myself “college-obsessed,” but I definitely like to watch those videos on youtube of people explaining how they got into ivy leagues, uc’s, etc. Everyone that I have watched has won national awards for competitions like in debate, sci-o, and mun. My try-out for sci-o is tomorrow and I have not yet studied because I genuinely don’t want to since I am already taking 5 AP courses, which require an insane amount of studying, and now I have to study more! I am afraid that this gives off the impression that I am lazy or I dislike learning. However, I really love and am motivated to learn but I can’t find myself interested in joining those types of clubs because I want to spend more time doing things that aren’t just studying for hours and hours. I have tried joining debate for a year but the entire time I just felt like I was wasting my time.
I’d rather spend 10 hours a week coaching girls on the run at my elementary school or designing my own children book (not literally) than spend 10 extra hours on a chair studying more science and more politics in order to attend conferences and win awards. I struggle in figuring out what to do with my time because I always feel like I am not doing enough, especially since I am not participating in any sports.
I volunteer a lot and have leadership positions in clubs (most aren’t academically oriented), but I just feel like a let down because I am not in competitive, academic, and political clubs, which basically the majority of the students in my school are in. I have not won impressive national awards or anything like that but I have positively influenced my community by starting programs and clubs that are oriented in helping others.
I basically have everything planned out but I am just scared that because I am following my passions, my chances of getting into the top colleges are decreasing. I am probably going to just go and study for my try-out after this because I feel guilty if I don’t and I am not quite sure why. (btw, I am a female junior in high school)
Please be honest because I really need to get advice on what I should be doing with my time since I am in kind of a mess right now and am proceeding to overthink about the situation.