<p>Well, what about the Internet? I have a handful of RL friends but it’s hard to find and meet CCer types in real life. Obviously, it’s a big world and there are very few places where so many people in the 95th+ percentile can be found together.</p>
<p>I’m not saying I trust you guys with my credit card or something but as far as “shooting the sh**” goes, all of this website might as well be my friends. I know that sounds lame, but I consider this a form of socializing.</p>
<p>What’s the issue here? </p>
<p>Personally, I feel like having friends is nice to have. The few friendships that I have make me realize how awesome it is to have someone to talk to, have fun with, joke with, be yourself, let loose, and etc. Two things in this world I love to death: my family and my friends. You couldn’t put a price tag or anything for my family and friends. HOWEVER, I do not feel like people need to accumulate friends at every stage in their lives. I agree with whoever said as long as you have friends, period, you’re fine. It doesn’t matter if those friends are from Kindergarten, High School (like mine haha), College, post-college, etc. What I’m seeing is that everyone is throwing the “if you don’t make friends in college, you’re doomed for life” comment which isn’t the case. For starters, life doesn’t end after college and college isn’t the only place to make friends. Secondly, as long as you have friends, according to you guys, you’re going to know how to “interact with others.”</p>
<p>friends, family… can and will screw you over. You will always be helping them and they will offere little to nothing in return or even demand it your help. when you get the oppurtunity to make a difference in your life they will try to butt in to share the wealth, maby even take it for themselves. They will completely forget the merciful acts that you showed them previously and when your in need they will come to you with a “whats in it for me attitude” to take advantage of your weakness as an oppurtunity. They will only be there for you when its convienant for them and when they get the oppurtunity they will not talk to you ever again because after all they moved on in there life in a different direction and when you meet again years later they pretend they never knew you. They will be jelous of any one that is humble or that have been blessed with gifts and they weren’t. You will notice there persistance when in need, they will do ANYTHING to get ahold of you or to talk you into there bidding what a great friend to bad it involves you to either pay or something of thiers or give them something. They will call you several times a day even. Notice how when you have nothing to offer they DO NOT try and contact you AT ALL. They will steal your gas your money your ciggerettes your tools but they will do in a way that makes you allow them to so its not considered stealing but it is. and they will always have a bargining attitude when you try to defend yourself. they may even appear in the middle of the night to borrow a tool from you for their car only to take it and carelessly throw it in the mud forgetting it forever. They will even call you to come over to there house for no other reason but to entertain them in there boredom. When the time comes and they grow up and get a job they forget all about you and they NEVER help you out or give you oppurtunities of your own. I could go on.</p>
<p>These people are manipulators.</p>
<p>they come to you in the form of friends, family, lover. They come to take, to survive off you. And to leave. They act only in reactions. Cause and effect. They serve no one but themselves and take pride in it.</p>
<p>These animals are Humans and everyone of them are the same except for a select few.</p>
<p>I have no real friends, im not even shure if i can trust my own family. Ive come to learn that manipulation is human nature we all do it unconciously unfortunatly some people do it more then others. We learn it at a young age. Children are masters at it working parents to perform there bidding by lieing, crying, tempertantrums, doing whatever it takes. with older adults it usually wears off in there age and there manipulations become blatantly obvious but some of them don’t really care enough anymore to come to you they wait till you come to them. So how Do we know who to trust? You can trust people, but dont really trust them. catch my drift? </p>
<p>These issues and past experiences have made my aggresivly avoidant towards other people. When i meet new people i stare deeply into their eyes and mind. then i indirectly test their subconcious and looks for signs of a manipulator. Then after this i trust them, but i dont reallllly trust them catch my drift?</p>
<p>^No disrespect, but you’re a whole 'nother level. You have trustt issues if you can’t trust your family. It seems you have had some really bad experiences with people. </p>
<p>Also, to comment on this:
</p>
<p>Speak for yourself. Don’t make it come across as if it’s a fact. Just because this has been your experience doesn’t mean it has been or will be others experiences. You’re right. Technically anyone can screw you over, but you know what? Having my amazing family and friends in my life is worth the risk. I rather risk them “screwing me over” than not have them in my life. I mean, what’s life worth living if you have no one to share it with? If you ask some rich people, some of them are miserable because while they have stacks on stacks on stacks, they don’t have anyone to share their happiness with. </p>
<p>I’d def. much rather risk being screwed than having NO ONE in my life. At that point, IMO, life wouldn’t be worth living.</p>
<p>Your right as i was ONLY highlighting a negative aspect. What i should have said was there is ALWAYS the possiblility, it may or may not ever actually happen.</p>
<p>This wasnt a post to discourage friendships, its more like a “Just be on your guard” post towards the guy that asked this question because he may have trouble making friends which manipulators target these people, or it could just be his temporary situation he could be perfectly normal/cool. anythings possible</p>
<p>I feel sorry for you.</p>
<p>I’ve been screwed over more times than I can count- by friends AND family. So what? It doesn’t mean I give up hope on both of them since there are a few bad ones. I could never imagine living without the love and support of people in my life- even if they can technically screw me over.</p>
<p>I wholeheartedly agree with the last sentence in post 104.</p>
<p>im not sure if its trust issues if you have reason not to trust someone.</p>
<p>but then again reason is a whole nother thing. not going to get into that.</p>
<p>I agree with you roman. But perhaps this is a way of dealing with it? if so it is a positive way to think about it and that is usually how i see it when im in a good mood. my original message was a bit negative.</p>
<p>Honestly I’ve been trying and trying to make friends for as long as I can remember and it never really works out well. I think some people just aren’t meant to have many or any friends, and the sooner one accepts that the sooner one can get over it and be happy.</p>
<p>Mojo lets not beat around the bush. You have a problem trusting people therefore you have trust issues. It’s okay to not trust certain people. But when you don’t trust a single person, you have trust issues. I’m not trying to be rude or anything, but lets call a spade a spade.</p>
<p>Think of your favorite memories. Were they spent alone?</p>
<p>Having no friends for four years is a do-able mission. But let’s be honest, humans were made to socialize. Even the most introverted person has at least one best friend. You don’t need a lot of friends in life, just true, sincere ones. Because truth is everyone wants to be accepted. So go make friends who are most like you because being a loner for the next four years will be something you’ll regret. You don’t wanna die knowing you didn’t make friends because your insecurities refrained you from doing so.</p>
<p>mojo- Trust me when I say that I have reasons not to trust people (you can pm if you really want to know) and yet I still do. It is still an issue even if you have a reason. You can’t let your whole life be dictated by a few bad experiences.</p>
<p>^You’re failing to realize that college isn’t the only place to make friends. All of you are assuming that when one says “is it okay to not have friends in college” that they don’t have friends in life, period. So would what you said still apply if someone had a bouquet of friends from other stages in life?</p>
<p>You know Rio you may not relize it but everyone you come in contact with is or was influenced in some way. I read once that “People won’t remember you for what you do, they won’t remember you for what you say, but they will remember you for how you made them feel.” or something similar cant remember who said that but i think may have been kennedy?</p>
<p>Oh i never said i didn’t trust them, i just said i didn’t realllllly trust them. lol. like on the inside.</p>
<p>Some of the greatest people ive ever known were insane.</p>
<p>@stratus- I took the OP to mean that you didn’t have any friends for those 4ish years. I just can’t personally wrap my head around having no friends for all of college years.</p>
<p>^Wait him or me? lol. I don’t have that many friends at college but I have some that are developing haha. I was just defending the notion that it’s possible to not need friends in college as long as you have friends period. </p>
<p>But lets agree to disagree.</p>
<p>
Not true at all. There are plenty of introverted friends who do not have friends and don’t need them. </p>
<p>
Just because you’d regret it does not mean others would. Why is it so hard for some people to accept that some people are just happy being recluses? </p>
<p>
Not having friends ≠ insecurities. Many people are content with themselves and have normal self esteem, yet they do not see the point in having friends and rather prefer to keep to themselves.</p>
<p>Well Mojo I try to make people feel good I guess? ****, I certainly make people laugh and smile. But it’s never reciprocated. I try to reach out to people and connect with them and generally we just hang out outside of school a few times and that’s it. I thought I had a few friends last semester… then this summer not a single one has spoken to me without me talking to them first.</p>
<p>Like I said, I think some people are just meant to be alone. Not necessarily lonely, as that implies a state of want or need. Just alone.</p>
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<p>Great conclusion! I’m exactly the same way when I’m seeing if a person is a fair weather or true. It takes two to tango, and if you’re the only one putting the effort that pretty much tells you that the “friendship” won’t last past college. </p>
<p>Out of the tons of people I talked to during the school year, only one person has contacted me consistently. Just goes to show you that finding a true is hard.</p>
<p>I consider an aquaintance a friend even tho they are probably not. Maby because i enjoy the fact that they are not really close to me but we still enjoy talking.</p>