<p>I really don't think so.</p>
<p>I'll be attending UCLA in the fall, and since I don't really like that school to begin with, is it really such a bad idea to focus 100% of my time, energy, and sanity on getting top grades, winning internships, working at side jobs, interacting with staff/professors, and doing research (I'm premed).</p>
<p>That means no parties, no drugs, sports stuff (never liked them anyway), or "hanging out." Basically, the plan is to Tiger Mum myself.</p>
<p>So...is this a good or bad idea? </p>
<p>I think you can have friends without doing parties, drugs, sports, etc. However, the first-year is an incredibly different transition, and for many students (including me) can be difficult. Having a strong support network can help mitigate some of that, even if you don’t spend all of your time with them. I have friends I can go to if I’m having a bad day or need a hug or a break from my studying, and they’re people I love to spend time with. However, I certainly don’t spend time with them at the expense of my schoolwork.</p>
<p>That depends…I went through college in the exact same manner. I am not particularly shy, just not all that interested in social interaction beyond what is necessary to succeed in daily life. I worked full time, was a research assistant, got good grades, and had a lot of great accomplishments by the time I graduated. I have no regrets and have pretty much continued to live my life focused on work and solitary hobbies. I do love working with others and mentoring, so it’s not that I don’t enjoy being around people. I just like to go home at the end of the day and be left alone to collect my thoughts.</p>
<p>However, the average person would not be able to live a fulfilling life this way. It might seem feasible at first, but it can get lonely quickly - especially if you currently have friends and suddenly remove that aspect from your life. </p>
<p>I think denying yourself friendships because you “don’t really like that school to begin with” is a silly reason. If you went to your dream school, would you prefer to make time for friends? What’s the difference between those two situations? </p>
<p>Having friends can make difficult times easier, such as venting about a harsh professor or when cramming for finals. You don’t need to sacrifice your grades, internships, or side jobs for friends. They will have their own lives going on, too. Further, making connections while in school can lead to opportunities after graduation. What if you want to work at a company that your peer ends up working for? Friendship also offers a psychological buffer to such feelings as depression, anxiety, loneliness, stress, and other emotions you may experience during the transition to college. </p>
<p>I don’t think you should begin college thinking, “I will try to make friends,” or, “I have no interest in making friends.” Just be natural and see where the wind blows you while maintaing your academic priorities. </p>
<p>@NovaLynnx</p>
<p>Thank you so much for sharing your own personal experience! </p>
<p>But did you ever feel depressed yourself from going through college that way? Or did you mean it’s just something that might happen to other people?</p>
<p>kleenexburner you can always change your mind and smile back at the person who sat down beside you. You don’t have to get medals in partying to have friends.</p>
<p>Somewhere on this board is a story about a kid, I think it was at U of Chicago, who died in his dorm room and no one noticed for eight days.</p>
<p>Just don’t let that be you.</p>
<p>I think it can be good and bad as well. This is because 1. you will be getting ahead ALOT but also bad, 2. because you don’t want to “waste” your college years away, your NEVER going to get them back. So I would say focus on your studies but also have some fun along the way(: Good luck!
Chance back? <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/what-my-chances/1631688-how-to-improve-my-chances-of-getting-into-unc-chapel-hill-nc-state-thanks.html#latest”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/what-my-chances/1631688-how-to-improve-my-chances-of-getting-into-unc-chapel-hill-nc-state-thanks.html#latest</a></p>
<p>I’m a bit…different, I guess you could say. I find friends somewhat exhausting and dramatic, so no, I can’t say I was ever depressed over not having any (although I did have two from high school that I would visit a few times a year, nothing regular). I was also a commuter and an only child living at home with parents.</p>
<p>I did stretch the truth somewhat now that I think about it: Although I didn’t make any friends, I did date over the years. Having one person in my life was more than enough, and since I have so many solitary hobbies I was never overbearing and clingy with that one person. I didn’t mingle with their friends or make any of my own out of the process. I had a boyfriend through most of college, and did find some loneliness when I was single. But now I am a few years out of college, currently single, still living the same way (but in my own apartment in a new state) and quite content. The key is to keep busy. Busy at work, busy with my writing/art/whatever at home, and I’m happy. But keep in mind it is more difficult to meet new people and make friends once you’re completely done with school and in the “real world.” And if you eventually want to marry and start a family, having some friends and connections will help you to meet more people and build the life you want. </p>
<p>I don’t glamorize my lifestyle because although I am perfectly content, I have yet to meet many other people like me. I would hate to make it sound fun, easy, or otherwise desirable to someone who would truly benefit from greater social interaction.</p>