<p>So I've been working full-time for a little over two years now. One of the biggest changes I've noticed while going from classroom to cubicle is that people in school tend to have a strong sense of friendship, whereas people in the workplace often don't.</p>
<p>For example:</p>
<ol>
<li>It's often said that dating co-workers is a very risky thing to do.</li>
<li>I've also heard many people say they prefer to keep their work and personal lives separate.</li>
<li>People also seem reluctant to connect with colleagues on social networking websites (except maybe LinkedIn). Case in point, I sent a bunch of friend requests to people after I left my first job, and only about two-thirds of them were accepted. There was actually this girl who told me straight up that she doesn't add "work friends" on Facebook. I know some people have separate accounts for work, but I didn't press the issue as I didn't want to appear desperate.</li>
<li>I once got warned by my manager for making small talk with a new hire.</li>
</ol>
<p>Indeed, there's an old saying that goes, "don't mix business with pleasure." I imagine the major reason is that the atmosphere of the workplace is often more political and competitive than that of school.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I've also seen many instances of co-workers being good friends.</p>
<ol>
<li>My father used to invite his engineers to our house for ping pong and karaoke back when he was CEO.</li>
<li>Some of my fellow engineers at my current job are a closely-knit group, and they often on road trips together and celebrate birthdays for each other.</li>
<li>My former supervisor from my first job is coming over to my house for Thanksgiving. :-)</li>
<li>I was at this restaurant with an attractive hostess a few years ago, and all the male waiters were treating her like the "it" girl and hugging her all the time.</li>
</ol>
<p>So I'm wondering: are friendships and professional relationships generally mutually exclusive? Do that many people prefer to keep their professional and personal lives separate? Or does it depend on the job?</p>
<hr>
<p>Danny
University of California, Berkeley '09 (B.S.)
St. Mary's College of California '10 (M.S.)</p>
<p>I think it depends very much on the culture of the company you are working for. I am pretty good friends with many of my coworkers - we go out frequently, and several live with each other. I have friends at other companies who, like you mention, don’t hang out with their coworkers at all.</p>
<p>Personally, I won’t date a coworker since it brings up many risks, but at the same time, there are three relationships, including two marriages, among my coworkers.</p>
<p>Two of my closest friends are from my first job many years ago. Relationship at work is more hierarchical. It is nice to have the manager (your father, CEO) to invite his staff over for dinner/hang out. but it is not as appropriate for you to invite your manager over unless it is for something special. </p>
<p>I do not friend people at work because it is too much information. As an example, you call in sick one morning and your co-workers or boss see your FB pictures out partying the night before. If you came from a wealthy family, would you want your co-workers see your jetting around the globe?</p>
<p>Where I work now is a close knit group. They are quite young, under 30, so they’ll hang out on weekends and party at each other’s house. Few months ago, they all went out and there were few new hires and summer interns. The group got a little bit rowdy and caused a scene at a bar. Someone informed a senior manager about the incident and it had to be dealt with. Since then, people are a lot more careful about who they invite and how they interact with each other. This is a case of your co-workers are not necessary your friends.</p>
<p>I think the biggest reason people frown on dating co-workers is that break-ups can be especially awkward. I know two people from my old job that were in a relationship, but the situation was a bit different as they knew each other before they started working.</p>
<p>They eventually broke up, but it was after both left the company. I imagine it would have been extremely awkward had either one of them still worked there.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I think that’s the reason many people are reluctant to add co-workers on social networking sites.</p>
<p>However, I don’t think Facebook friendships are such a big deal; people aren’t going to automatically get access to your private life just because they are your “friend” unless you let them. It’s not so much as who you connect with, but what you share and who you share it with.</p>
<hr>
<p>Danny
University of California, Berkeley '09 (B.S.)
St. Mary’s College of California '10 (M.S.)</p>
<p>It also depends on your position. Some companies have policies against fraternizing if you have any kind of supervisory authority, as it poses a conflict of interest. I work as an HR manager, so I do not talk to anyone from work outside of working hours - aside from a “hello” if I see them shopping at the local Walmart or something. </p>
<p>Dating is risky because if it doesn’t work out, you have to continue seeing and working with that individual daily - and they may share things with your coworkers that are deeply personal or embarrassing. Friendships are less risky in that sense, but it really depends on whether it’s the norm at that company or if people there truly prefer separation. </p>
<p>I have former coworkers on my Facebook, but not current ones (again, due to the nature of my job). If I weren’t in HR and not a manager, I would be happy to socialize with peers outside of work, but still would not date them. It could lead to a wonderful relationship, or it could end, potentially leaving you hurt and interfering with your work.</p>
<p>Outside of the workplace as well? I am very close to many employees, I just don’t grab drinks with them after work. I love socializing; but there is a strict no fraternization policy with my company for managers and if it was known I hung out with employees outside of the office, I could end up transferred to another location. And not all HR employees are managers. It’s different if they just do payroll, or just recruit. Not all can influence all aspects of the HR responsibility.</p>