Hey all. I just wanted some feedback on my UC app essay topics. For the freshman one about “your world,” I am writing about my family heritage and how I was raised with two different cultures. It has some references to religion (Hindu and Catholic), so I wanted to know if this is ok. Then I say how this has made me want to explore the world, as I’m curious about this diversity in the world.
For the second essay, about a personal quality, I’m writing how I’ve always been curious. I drve the long way home sometime since I want to know where the roads lead. I built a computer because I wanted to learn how it works. I then tie this into how I’ve been curious about how vehicles move, which has lead me towards mechanical engineering.
Do these sound ok? Are they too similar? I don’t need anyone to read over them, just wanted to make sure you thought they were good topics if written well. Thanks!
The third culture essay is fairly common, so you need to make sure you really focus on your personality and what admissions officers can learn about you separate from the rest of your app. In terms of being curious, I would focus on one unique example of this curiosity. The long road home seems a little Robert Frost-clichey. Maybe a more individual experience with engineneering- seeing triangles in a bridge, mechanical pencils, buying a video game. The best essays tend to be centered on slightly mundane but very unique topics.
The topics you’ve chosen are fine. It’s what you do with them that matters. Be careful to use good visual detail. If anyone else could write the same essay, it’s not going to help you. Get an objective 3d party to read them (perhaps your English teacher?).