<p>“My dad assured me that applying for financial aid would be hopeless (as it was when my two brothers went through the process)”</p>
<p>Perhaps what you take as a bait-and-switch is more of a case of gee-we-didn’t-imagine-that-educating-three-kids-would-be-so-horrifyingly-expensive.</p>
<p>Pick up the phone. Call your brothers. Find out a bit more about their application and college decision-making processes. They may have useful information and advice for you.</p>
<p>I understand your frustration. At least you have some good NM options, though. Apply now, see what happens. Negotiate with your parents later.</p>
<p>(Just saying that if I were in your parents’ apparent financial position–able to afford expensive house and cars–I would choose to spend money on my kids’ education instead of those luxuries. But I’m not your parents, who have the right to spend their money any way they like, even if it seems wasteful or selfish to you.)</p>
<p>Alternate view here. This student is likely enjoying his current lifestyle, in his nice home, and with nicer vehicles in the family than others might choose. His family has given him a budget. This is not unreasonable…disappointing to the OP, yes…but unreasonable. NO.</p>
<p>Hopefully he will find some schools that fit the financial limits his parents have set…or come very close. I really hope he doesn’t intend to try to guilt his parents into paying more than they feel,they can pay. He has options that ARE affordable…and many kids don’t have those options.</p>
<p>Presumably, that nice home comes with a nice school district. I don’t think we have the whole story here. It’s always tough to know how to react when a kid wants more and cites things like cars (which could be leased) and the house, which may be mortgaged, at $x cost annually.</p>
<p>Op,
BTW, the UCs total cost of attendance probably run approximately $31-35 K per year.</p>
<p>I can see where your parents are coming from: I don’t now if I would send my hypothetical kids to my alma mater where costs have been going up 7% per year. It might be, “Here is a pile of money; figure it out.” Its just uh an insane amount if money that it does not seem worthwhile.</p>
<p>My suggestion is to apply to a lot of schools that are just under the top tier: BU, St. Olaf’s, Fordham, Allegheny, Elon, Bucknell, Brandeis, W&L, Vassar, NYU, etc.</p>
<p>Let me also point something out: back when the OP was a child, expensive schools cost in the high 20s or very low 30s every year. Adjusting for inflation, that is about $40k per year. </p>
<p>Yes, we all know that college prices increase faster than inflation, but I don’t blame your parents or not wanting to be a cash cow for this absurd institution.</p>
<p>Yes, but presumably you would not continue to push your alma mater as a goal if you weren’t sure you were going to be willing to pay for it. </p>
<p>In this case, ignorance of college costs is no excuse, since there are two older siblings. </p>
<p>At some point the message should have been refined to include financial realities. Application time is too late. Of course, it is possible that the message WAS altered, but that the OP didn’t want to hear it.</p>
<p>It is not too late…but getting close. Many schools have a December 1 application date for scholarship consideration. Some have November 15…ok…that’s Friday but it could be done.</p>
<p>What is easier or better…scrambling to get some affordable applications done, or applying for excessive loans to find college?</p>
<p>I think it is too late psychologically, in terms of managing expectations, not too late in the sense of missing deadlines. </p>
<p>But I certainly agree that it is far better to apply to affordable schools than be stuck with huge debt. And the parents would probably have to co-sign any big loans anyway, which presumably they would not do.</p>
<p>I sort of agree with you, Consolation. BUT I would far prefer my kid have a psychological meltdown about college costs BEFORE the applications are sent, rather than AFTER the acceptances (which could ALL be unaffordable) are received.</p>
<p>I firmly believe there is nothing wrong with setting a college finances budget. And like any other budget…this is subject to change.</p>
<p>For example, I really wanted this $37,000 new car…and really had planned for that. However, when the time came, my budget had been reduced by $10,000 due to the need to purchase all new kitchen appliances (not a want…a need!). I didn’t jump up and down and scream and carry on. I recognized that the circumstances had changed…and got a great just off lease car for my new budget of $27,000. </p>
<p>Sometimes families and students need to recognize that “stuff happens”.</p>
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<p>Absolutely! :)</p>
<p>I think it is important that kids know going in if there are going to be financial considerations, so that when the results are in they can participate at least somewhat rationally in making a decision. </p>
<p>I am uncomfortable with a lot of talk about “dream schools” for this reason, as well as others.</p>
<p>Very good point about dealing with the fact that stuff happens, also.</p>
<p>My sister has been putting away money for her daughters for college for years! By the time her oldest daughter was ready to choose a college they had saved over $300,000. She had a 3.8 GPA and 29 ACT - VERY tough suburban school outside of Chicago - I guess its so tough and competitive they don’t even have class rank and the average ACT score is 27 - 16 of my nieces classmates scored a 36! Obviously she wasn’t looking at any tip top colleges but she could have gotten into any number of colleges and my sister would have never allowed money to be a barrier. They visited schools around the country and had it narrowed down to 5. She was accepted to all 5. The one my niece chose was the one who offered her a full ride at LSU. Her dad lives in Louisiana and she got a full ride. She was offered enough in scholarships to cover tuition, room and board and fees, and tested out of 18 hours before she even started her first class. They decided to go this route because now when she is ready to continue her education after she gets her 4 year degree, money wont be an issue. There will be no student loans to repay and they believe where you attend the first 4 years are not nearly as important as where you go to graduate/law/medical school etc … So for now go get that 4 year degree and dont worry about where you get it so much as how well you do while you are there!</p>
<p>Oh my point … you need to hurry, but go out there and get those scholarships!!! Pay for your own education! What a wonderful liberating feeling that will be! Then you will TRULY be free of your parents control. Being a NMSF is a big step. Look at the schools that offer substantial or full rides for that honor alone! If I were you I would be jumping for joy and celebrating my financial independence from my parents since you have stated that you do not want to be under their control any longer. Take control of your life and show them that you can do this yourself!</p>
<p>If your parents have as much money as you say, and they are the ones who took you to all these expensive schools, then yeah, sounds like they are being jerks. </p>
<p>I think you might want to still look at these schools. If they are willing to pay $40K, then that is not incredibly far from the $55K-60K many schools cost. Also, once they see your acceptance letters to some of these places, they might change their tune. </p>
<p>(((hugs))))</p>
<p>“If they are willing to pay $40K, then that is not incredibly far from the $55K-60K many schools cost.”</p>
<p>Where exactly is the OP supposed to find the $15k-$20k difference each year? This is not chump change, and can’t be covered with only a student loan and a summer job.</p>
<p>I want to be a little more analytical- OP says, in a much earlier thread, that she’s got a 3.89, including middle school- and it goes down if she excludes those grades. I don’t know what she’s taking now or how she’s doing. Part of her former transcript is apparently number grades instead of letters. We don’t know if the new hs will convert those to letters. In numbers, it’s got some high B’s and low A’s. (Or, if the school has a higher cutoff, those 90’s may be B’s.)</p>
<p>I can see where parents would take a kid to visit reach schools, hoping it would provide incentive. Then move to CA, with great state schools, see she’s not fully competitive for an Ivy and shift the target. And, if the message isn’t fully received, set a financial limit that matches.</p>